Contradicting ideas regarding dating

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Einfari
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11 Dec 2013, 12:08 am

In high school, I was always that shy, smart girl. Most people besides my group of girlfriends didn't know much about me except for that I was an honors student that was in a few sports. I rarely got attention from guys and was never asked to prom or any other dance. The only date I ever had to a school dance was when I asked the guy. I really liked him and after going on a few dates with that guy, he broke my heart and gave a very bitter outlook on romance. I haven't had sincere feelings for anyone since then, and that was over two years ago. I thought (and still think) that I can't flirt or attract guys.

When I started college, I became much more social and crazy. I have dated two guys in college, but realized they weren't what I was looking for, so I stopped seeing them. I've never actually had a real boyfriend. Lately, my roommate asked me how I'm successful at attracting guys. I was really confused because I'm not good at attracting guys. Maybe that's changing just because I'm in college and have gotten a few phone numbers and have been asked out once. I get asked to dance by guys when I go out because it is just for fun. Even when I talk to random guys in the cafeteria or talk about other guys, she'll always say things like "That guy seemed so interested you" and other similar things. What I see as meaningless or just fun, my roommate often interprets as flirting. I'm so confused. Am I oblivious to guys flirting with me or is my roommate just crazy? I know the dating scene does change from high school to college, but I didn't think it would completely reverse as my roommate is insisting.



supguysfriedchicken
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11 Dec 2013, 4:06 am

They probably are interested in you. They more than likely, however, think that you are unavailable.

Most people (mine not included)'s dating prospects do, indeed, change over time and get better. People like me just stay consistent. :lol:


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hurtloam
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11 Dec 2013, 7:22 am

I had friend as a teenager who was always unitentionaly flirting with guys. She didn't know she was being overly friendly and when someone she wasn't interested in started showing her attention we'd be like, "he totally likes you." And she would say, "no he doesn't, we're just friends." Then he would ask her out and she realised we were right. But she'd get angry and say that she hadn't been flirting and totally didn't understand. So i'd say it's not uncommon. You probably just feel that you're being friendly.



em_tsuj
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11 Dec 2013, 2:38 pm

I had the same experience in college. Women showed a lot more interest in me. Even in high school, women were interested. I just didn't pick up on it. Maybe your roommate is right. I wish I could tell you the signs that a guy is attracted to you, but I am just now starting to recognize the signs of attraction at the age of 29.