This isn't going to work out ! :(

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My current girlfriend, who is eighteen and lives in Canada is dying to meet me in real life. She's very attractive looking and kind of goofy/cute while I'm this Fragile X abomination who's twenty six and has gone slightly to seed and a bit out of shape and already starting to show signs of thinning hair.

We've talked about this issue before but she keeps saying "I've seen a picture of you before" . Well that is true, but you've only seen a picture of my face. And this is a picture out of several that I think shows my good side. Omg, wait till she sees what I really look like.

The point is that attraction is what makes up about 90% of a relationship and I've been self conscience ever since I started liking girls Nobody knows what I've been through ,unless you were cursed with Fragile X Syndrome by the fake God who delusional Christians think is a loving entity!

I hate God and think he's a big coward for not coming down here so that I could unload a lot of frustration on his cowardly ass! I have a lot of rage :/

She's an Aspie as well and I think she doesn't quite understand that she's way out of my league because she only knows what I look like based on an image I've took to show my less ugly side.

Also is she not being truthful when she says that doesn't matter ? I have no real self confidence and I though that women only dated men who aren't deformed abominations, who has a life plan and isn't whiny and a feminine b***h like myself ... Yeah I know, loads of self loathing!

Um, she's an aspie. She likely deals with self confidence issues herself and probably doesn't feel like she's out of your league. Further, she's probably being honest when she says looks don't matter as much to her as you think they do. Chances are there's a real intellectual/personality connection, and as an aspie she's probably more about that than physical aesthetics - especially if she's said so. Sure, some of us are about looks or a combination of looks and other qualities, but some of us aren't at all. It sounds like she's one that either doesn't care about looks, ooooorr, is actually attracted to the way you look - which is entirely possible even if you feel unattractive. It's not up to you to tell someone else that they're not attracted to you. Attractions don't work that way. Relax, send her more pics/video chat, talk things out with her further annnnd have the decency to believe what she's telling you is her God's honest truth whether you perceive yourself as attractive or not.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Perhaps send her a full-body picture?
What are your bodily issues?

Looks tend to be more important in establishing a relationship; once people start to like each other they are less important.

would you rather never try and never know if it could've worked out?

You could always hit the gym two or three times a week until the point when you actually meet, then not only will you lose a few pounds but you'll be able to chase her through that romantic destination without getting out of breath

P.S. If you are getting a bit thin on top then visit the barber and ask his advice. When it happened to me I started having #2 razor cuts and I've never looked back.

Here's what to expect:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_XAePxwGya7E/S ... uzzcut.jpg

If you're more focused on yourself than her she probably won't like that. But remember, most Aspies use language directly and to try to communicate. And are upset when we are not believed. What she says is likely how she feels. It would be a gift to trust that what she says is likely very real to her.

I remember when I first started dating my current husband, an NT friend of mine said," Jeez, he's ugly. You can do better than that." I NEVER took his appearance into consideration until she said that. For about two weeks, I started to stare at him at lot which he noticed and was rather put off by. He became very self conscious and started insulting my appearance. I stared at him because I was trying to see where in the world was this lovely, compatible guy ugly. To this day, I just don't see it. We've been married for more than 20 years. I eventually stopped staring and he stopped insulting instantly as soon as I stopped staring. I find him rather cute these days - a little paunchy belly and greying hair. He's cuddly and I like to lie on him a lot. Stay strong. Whatever happens, happens. Also, if you treat a person nicely and they are seriously looking for a mate, they get used to you and stop noticing your physical short comings. Engage her in conversation right away and stear her into your common interests. Looks might matter initially but it's the heart of the person that wins in the end. I dated a VERY handsome man once. There wasn't much to him other than his reliance on his appearance "for God knows what!!" He really didn't know himself or his interests or goals. He didn't know much at all. He was B-O-R-I-N-G. A dullard. Looking back, I would've taken 10 of my husbands in place of 1/2 of him. There was more person-ness in my hubby's pinkie finger than in this other guy's whole although well-toned body. When my hubby called, I would RUN to the phone. When the other guy called, I would cringe and wait for him to leave a message that I would instantly delete - even the phone messages sucked - full of himself but with no real self.
What an empty container he was! Fancy container with nothing in it. If I had chosen him instead of my hubby, I would have grown accustomed to his handsome looks, got very bored, and ended up in divorce court. I learn something new and sweet about my so-called ugly husband every day and my love for him grows. If he has physical flaws, so what.

It's a little more complicated as I asked her if she was just horny and if she'd still love me after we'd have sex :/ I never called her a whore or anything like that. She even admitted that she was really horny and had a perverted mind like mine.

I guess I just worry a lot and we've fought before and the last time we did, I left Deviant Art and returned, which I regret. I said a lot of mean things to her only because I hated how she said in a journal how I never loved her. I should had also gotten it through my head that I did leave her all confused when I left and came back only to say s**t that I really regret now. If you love someone, set her free and I just think she deserves someone better. I love her and think that I'm only going to play my stupid sadistic passive/aggressive games, which is why I don't think I deserve her.

God damn I hate how far away we are a part from each other and is really anxious to meet her. I just know if I'm good enough for her. I just don't know because after school I never really dated anyone else and even the stupid school relationships felt fake and each ex made it clear that I was a hideous abomination.

I'm a passive/agressive schizophrenic who's possibly bi-polar and maybe we should spend some a part until I get my head straightened out and get my life into motion. I'm twenty six and still lives with his father for Christ's sake

It sounds like your so focused on what you think she SHOULD be thinking that your ignoring what she ACTUALLY IS thinking.

Skype with her or get a snap chat account and send pictures.

Every relationship has fights. Even the most romantically in love people in the world have fights. It's almost impossible that two people will agree 100% of the time.

Seriously though, it sounds like you are trying to actively destory this relationship when it sounds like she actually likes you.

Why not try to work on some issues like being less passive aggressive and try to have fun with her?

stop with all the analytical garble already. it gets you nowhere. just go meet the hottie. and remember. saying nothing at all is always better than saying something stupid.

You must meet her no matter what the outcome would be, how far she is? Are you in the US or where?

Video chat her and see how that goes. Or send her more pics of yourself. Or have her watch a video of you, if you have any current ones.

Get her used to what you look like overall, that way there's no surprises to her or you in how she might react.

Chances are she won't care, but even if she does, at least you didn't waste all that time and money to go visit someone who is going to be superficial enough to turn down a relationship because of your appearance.

Video chatting also gives you guys a chance to see how you'll be like in person somewhat. Much more than through instant messages and what not. It's a million times different talking to someone through texts and IMs than it is through a video chat or in person.
You guys may see that you don't really have much chemistry on video chat, or the exact opposite. Who knows. Give it a try.

Hello I am Leah. We don't know one another. I did read what you wrote regarding your possible girlfriend.

There are so many others who just want someone to say hello and notice them on this wrong planet... The fact that you have someone who cares for you and wants to meet you is wonderful. Your anxiety about meeting her is blocking you from your happiness. I already like you based on your words and how you express yourself. I like that you are honest and have emotions and care for someone. I want you to learn to care for and love yourself. Life is for living. Don't let the spirit of fear stop you.

I want you to know that most people consider me attractive. However, I want you to know that when I care for a man, it is his spirit that pulls me close, not how he looks. Relationships are not 90% physical. It takes time and effort to discover who you are with and to become close to them. It matters how he treats me, how he touches me, if he holds my hand and if he makes me laugh. Anyone can have sex or be physical and get up and walk away. That's awful and why bother. There is so much more to share!

My motto: If you change how you think about something or someone, you can change that reality. No one is perfect and life is really about taking risks, and sometimes risks may hurt... But that is how you learn and grow and get strong and find happiness. The universe is giving you an opportunity...just take it. And let us know, too.

xo Leah