Should i even try or just give up?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 17 and have Aspergers and go to a work placement class for people 17-24 with Aspergers.
and in this class there is a girl who i'm attracted to who has aspergers, (bear in mind i have never been with a girl in my life)
we talk but she is quite shy and soft spoken.
I want to ask her out but can't and i find it quite hard to communicate these feeling to her.
The whole talk and idea of love/attraction is taboo for me i can't even talk to my parents about it and this is the first time i have spoken about my situation as i find it extremely difficult to talk about love and emotions.

should i even try or just give up?

You have a 100% chance of failure if you don't try.

She shouldn't be that hard to ask out since she has Asperger's herself.

Try. Even if she says no, you will feel good that you had the courage to try. You will probably regret and beat yourself up if you don't try.

any advice?

Ask her out on a date, brother. I missed out on so many opportunities due to my fear of rejection.

"I'm very nervous, _____. I've never actually done this before, but... would you want to have dinner/coffee with me sometime?"

Don't suggest a movie as a first date; you can't really talk and that's the point of the early dates.

But, the bottom-line advice is to "just do it."

And report back. When do you see her next? That's when you'll ask.

Speaking from personal experience here, it is a bit of a difficult one to get a yes no answer too. I have had this problem occur to me quite recently (within the last twelve weeks) and I made the desicion to tell the person I liked that I liked her. This didn't all go according to plan as she wasn't looking for a relationship and because of that I got rejected. In your case, I would suggest a few things

1. If you can take a negative response (no, I don't want a relationship) then go for it. What the others say is right and you will never even know if you don't ask.

2. If you aren't sure how you would cope, speak to someone you trust about it all to see what their opinion is. Obviously they then have to keep what you tell them secret and only tell someone you trust not to tell her about it. It does help though if the person who you tell about it knows her and is friends with her as it might give you an insight into what her perspective on it is.

3. I know you said you haven't told your parents about it but, speaking from personal experience here, they might be able to give you the confidence you need to ask. If things do go wrong chances are they will find out and it will be easier for you to deal with a either response if they know the situation as they can best support you through it.

4. If you need to sort out a safe location to ask so that you both are comfortable enough so that it is easier to ask, speak to your teacher or an autism specialist from your school/college. They might be able to provide you with a space and, once again, if things go wrong they can step in to help the two of you out

If I had to give an opinion right at this moment, I would say go for it. You will never know unless you ask. For all you know, the same might be happening on her end of things and it might be a lot less difficult if it is. I wish you the best of luck

SRT456

I think you already decided what you're going to do but in all things in life please try to remember what thewhitrbbt said here.

And to add to that remember that you're never going to get good or great at something by quitting. I've never seen that happen.