I am 29 years old and I realise this is the first time I have actually done this. This year I started to come out of my shell more, be more sociable and on more of a similar wavelength to NT's. This after years of being very reclusive and apathetic about life.
This year Ive been to more social things than ever before, and been on a few kind of "friend dates" with girls, which were very non-intimidating for both parties, went well. I dont think anyone could have figured me out as autistic.
But more recently I have attempted to socially interact with women whom I did have strong romantic feelings, and my god things went to hell. The characters in a Ben Stiller movie would cringe at the level of awkward situations and communication fuckups.
Today for some reason I made the bold and totally uncharacteristic move of asking a girl I do not know at all, on a date. But whom did I choose for this venture? The receptionist at the doctors surgery! I have seen her at work a few times, not spoken any more words than absolutely necessary as my mind is always on other things. But I she seems to me to have a good heart, and she has a subtle understated prettiness about her. My kind of girl, so I did it.
But man, I f****d it up. I gave her my number when I should have got hers, she'll probably hesitate and decide against this crazy proposition. But she was smiling and blushing when I was talking to her like she was very happy to hear it.
Man I am confused and having a painful mix of too strong emotions. I guess this is what normal people feel like when they are 14-15 and going on their first dates. This is going to be potentially very awkward if she says no. I have to go there very regularly to pick up scripts for my parents.
Well, I just thought I would share this for the fact I feel pretty awful right now, like I have set myself up for shame and rejection. Also im on tenderhooks thinking about the possibility of her calling back. I dont even know her name ffs!
In a couple days time I may have a success story for you or be licking my wounds in a corner somewhere.