Struggling

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With a break up. It's odd. I was in a relationship for 3 and a half years. When she broke up with me I was ready to start dating again within a week.
However this girl...I can't find any closure. I know the reason really. I've never really felt for anyone before. Sure I cared about them but I only "loved" them because it seemed appropriate.
I fell for the first time in my life, and I fell HARD.
Now I'm trying to pick up pieces of myself.
For the first time in 24 years I cried because emotionally I was hurt, not just because I felt like I should, and I haven't been able to stop.
We made a promise when we first started dating that if something was broke we would fix it, not throw it away.
That's not what happened.
I feel betrayed and abandoned, empty, and I'm trying to deal with emotions that I have no clue how to deal with, and I'm having to deal with them alone. Isolation keeps me going, I've learned that I can only depend on one person and that's me, but as the days go by, I only get angrier and I feel like I'm slipping down a very dark and slippery slope.
Any advice?

I am sorry you are going through this. It is never easy for anyone. All you can do is take it day by day. Things will get better as time moves on. What was her reason for the break up? If you don't mind discussing it, if not its ok.

Her reasoning was understandable. She felt she was too young (She was 19. Normally I don't date girls still in college but she came off as more mature) and she wasn't ready to face the challenges of dating a man 5 years older than her.
Understandable. Sucks, but I understand.

That sounds like a cop out. She has been dating you for years and now all of a sudden age is an issue? You are better off without her. I am sorry you have to go through this. Just be yourself and the right woman, not girl, will come along. I am an NT who is getting ready to marry an Aspie. He is 15 years older than me, lol! But it works for us and age isn't an issue for me. Just hang in there. You just need some time to heal and move on.

I will agree, she used a cop out to end the relationship. And considering she is entering college and her age is 19, it was probably a favour she did for you to end the relationship.

I would be wary of girls in the age group you are likely to attract (18-24).

"We made a promise when we first started dating that if something was broke we would fix it, not throw it away."

Sigh... that's kind of what we said as well, my first love and me, that we'd always communicate too generally, regardless of the problems. Maybe communication is intrinsically difficult for aspies.

Feel the feelings, process the feelings, the feelings will go away in time.

Don't get into another relationship until you have grieved this relationship and learned the lessons from it.