Office dinner tomorrow and I'm dateless

Post Reply New Topic

My office is going out for a group dinner after work. And I'm the only one without a date or a second. I feel so terribly ashamed by this, and I fear my coworkers will being to suspect (if they haven't already) that there's something wrong with me, or that I might be gay (not that there's anything wrong with it, yadda, yadda, yadda).

I've just gotta find someone next year, if I have to beg and plead to her and buy her anything she wants, I won't go another year alone.

There's a lot of single people without AS (or aren't gay, for that matter). They're really not going to make something out of it other than "oh, so-and-so hasn't got someone to go with, how unfortunate" (I'm guessing your name is Brian, but I won't presume). There are many reasons someone might be single, so they have no reason to read too much into it unless, as you said, they suspect you're a bit different- in which case, we live in an educated enough society for us to reasonably be able to expect that they won't bring it up, because its not appropriate to do so.

Don't beat yourself up about it. At worst they'll make a playful jibe about it with good intent.

How about just not go? Make up some sympathy-inducing excuse, like "taking care of a family situation, I wish I could come with you all, but I need to help my family, so sorry, boo-hoo", and head straight home. No harm, no foul.

One caveat: it's easy to get confused in one's own lies. So make up a solid story, memorize it until you have it down cold, and stick to it. To make it even more believable to yourself, actually visit a family member on that night.

I wish I could get out of it, but I've already committed, and in any case, I'm a terrible liar. I'm stuck, but god how I wish I had someone.

if you feel really bad about this, you can consider hiering an escort, these women are payed to be a +1 to social events (and indeed usually stay the night, if you want them to).

this can be a short-term fix for the empty seat next to you at the event

^ How stupid is that.

I can't afford that, and besides, I don't think my city offers decent escorts. The ones around here all look like meth addicts.

Usually professional escorts (so escorts, no prostitutes) are mostly students and similar kind. So the real escorts normally should not look like drug addicts, but are exactly what they are called like, people you hire to escort you to an social event. In my capital city, specially older people like to hire escorts, to escort them to theatre or typical classical couple dancing, that you hardly can do without partner. Because of them not being prostitutes, they normally cost far less, but therefor it is expected that you invite them to whatever you want them to escort you. (So you want them to escort you for a visit in restaurant with theatre afterwards: You are expected to invite them to the dinner, the theatre and as well to that typical drink in the theatre pause.

I really dont get it, why in english areas, prostitutes gets as well called escorts. Around here noone has a prob with calling a prosttute a prostitute, and an escort an escort. If I wanted to hire an escort, and had to go various prostitutes services to find one, I´d be a bit annoyed. ^^

Ugh, I can empathize. My cousin is getting married and I have no idea who my plus-one will be. The bride and some of my family members have been talking for some time now about trying to set me up with the groom's chronically single brother and saying that they are going to try to force us to talk and dance at the wedding. How awkward ... So, that kind of adds to the pressure of finding a date.

I know, I've got a wedding to attend in February. I've been to lots of weddings, but usually as a videographer, so I had something to do, and I was part of a crew. Here I don't know what I'll do. I'm terrified of dancing and of making a fool of myself, and I'm afraid I'll get stuck sitting at a table with a lot of old people or something, when at least I'd hope to get paired with some single women. If I can't find a date to go with, I think I may bail on that, because there is just too much risk of humiliation if I go.

I'll just keep trying and praying I've found SOMEONE in time to bring to the wedding. I'm starting to communicate with someone on OKC right now, after a long dryspell, and I'm hoping she could finally be the one. Just gotta put my best face on, and try to be perfect, and without ANY flaw or reason for her to reject me, so I can prove to her I'm worthy of her, so I finally won't be alone.

At my reason company Christmas party they put all the single/divorced men on one table. Not sure if this was a good idea or not...

Wow, that sounds like an awful lot of pressure to put on yourself.

My office has been having parties for 14 years, I've never brought anyone nor felt any shame whatsoever. You shouldn't either.

That's dumb, it's going to be obvious she knows nothing about you and there's no chemistry. Why should you pay to satisfy other people? Screw them.

I'll say last night's dinner wasn't awful, but I definitely felt like I didn't belong. Everyone had somebody. I was looking at everyone, and seeing how they were with their partners. I saw how girlfriends and boyfriends doted on one another, rubbing shoulders, whispering. One coworker brought someone he had met on OKC not long ago, and it was clear she was totally in to him.

I got a little mad. I want to know what that is like. I'm sick to f*cking death of feeling all this love for other women I've encountered, and there's none in return. They're not into me. I want to know what it is like to have someone sitting next to me who WANTs to be there, and who finds me attractive. I want to be wanted by...somebody.

..........and on the girl..........before the first date.

He does this with every single date which completely ruins his chances before he even meets them. He never listens to advice and refuses to change his "put all the pressure in the world on this one date and maybe if I'm lucky she'll be desperate enough to settle for me" strategy no matter how sad an ineffectual it is.

The really sad part is that the OP actually seems to be quite a catch (at least in comparison to most here.) He's fit, self-sufficient and professionally successful (he's even won an Emmy.) If he had even an ounce of self-esteem the girls would start flocking to him. Instead he see's himself as pathetic (in his brain anything less than perfect is failure) so that's how others will see him.