Rejecting someone nicely

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How do you let someone down easy? There is a woman who has a crush on me, and I am not interested. My approach would be to tell the truth: I'm in love with someone else. I am not wanting to date anyone right now. I just like to flirt, nothing serious. Even saying that has an element of dishonesty. I just do not like her enough to date her. At best, she would be a fling. I don't do that any more. It ain't right to have sex with someone when they want something more. It's just leading them on and playing with their emotions. I would just like to be work friends with her.

Saying what you said you're thinking of saying could work, as could something along the lines of "You're a great person, but love is a strange thing and I just don't feel the same way".

I don't understand the flirting for the sake of flirting as well.

Flirting can be for the other person's benefit too. It's a way of making them feel good, provided that they know the interaction is just play. As for turning someone down, there is no truly nice way to go about it. No matter which way you look at it, you're still rejecting them, and they know it. Although... this one time (not in band camp, lol), I asked a girl to do salsa with me at a Latin dance party. She turned me down, but in the process, she was touching my arm while giving me a beaming smile, and said "No, I'm good. But I'm glad you asked. I think I saw you dancing with that tall girl earlier. You were really good." I ended up saying "thanks" while touching her on the arm, which, in retrospect, was an odd way to respond to a rejection.

"I'm in love with someone else. I am not wanting to date anyone right now." This says you still like her which is not true and continues to lead her on. "I just like to flirt, nothing serious." Sounds a bit condescending.

Just stop flirting with her. If she still asks you out just tell her you are not interested, you don't need to provide a reason unless she specifically asks you to, otherwise you could upset her.

Some people flirt just for the fun of it.

And the last part you said, if she still pursues you:

'I just want to be work friends.'

It's decent and it's brief. And both are important.

Simply say, "I like just having fun and talking to ALL the girls at work. It makes the day go faster and it makes the place happier. I'm not looking for any kind of relationship here at all. In fact, I'm seriously involved with someone and I'm considering marrying them." By saying that you like and enjoy everyone doesn't exclude any particular individual. You will take tremendous pressure off of them by showing them that you were never attainable to begin with. Try to come off as the guy that likes and respects EVERYBODY. This will keep things healthy. It's when lonely, unstable individuals get rejected forthright that things get a little on the sick side because they NEVER felt like they belonged to humankind to begin with. You will only confirm this feeling by pushing them away. The trick is to embrace ALL - theoretically. If you flirt with one, then you must flirt with all - this will get you off the hook with that solitary person. Remember, "Oh he's alright...he likes all the girls." You're better off being very generic instead of specialized. This attitude DOES make those people who occupy the fringe of the social circle to feel as though they belong. When it comes to the work environment, a lot of people who start a romance or crush on a co-worker do it for status. It sets them apart from everyone else in the office temporarily. They use it to shine because they may not be able to shine through their accomplishments on the job. It may be a mundane situation for them. When I was a teen, An older, married man I worked with would compliment me a lot. I would say the old phrase, "Ohhh, I bet you say that to ALL the girls." He'd say, "yes, that's true but only to the prettiest ones." So, he established his boundary and gave me a compliment just the same. There was harmony there. No infidelity, no flings. Just acceptance. It was nice.

I need a lesson in this too. Feels like scrambling around in the dark in those awkward moments.

Maybe I am too biology-minded (I am not biologist tho, just one of the interests); in my mind flirting is translates to "I see you as a potential mate" lol.