How to Mention a Dealbreaker on my Profile (Tattoos)?

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I have recently returned to the single life and will be going to put a profile up online. I don't expect it to lead anything but I do want to put the effort in and exhaust all avenues. I'm pretty flexible and have become more open minded as the years have gone on but there are some things I am unable to budge on. Aside from the obvious (smokers, drug users, not interested/like children etc) I absolutely, positively CANNOT tolerate anyone with a tattoo or exotic piercing. Given that almost half of women I see are covered in them, how am I to mention this without becoming what I complain about (women with laundry lists). I simply don't want to waste any effort on anyone with a tattoo because try as I might, I just cannot accept anyone with one as a girlfriend or partner. I'm not saying whether or it's a good or bad thing but this is simply how I feel. I'm dead serious when I say I will instantly break off any relationship as soon as I spot one I hate them that much. I can overlook many things but this isn't one of them.

How on earth am I to mention or word this one without coming across as bitter or negative? It really is something I need to be perfectly upfront about otherwise I will be wasting a lot of time both mine and my potential dates. For reference, I am referring to OKCupid in particular.

Ummm, just say it?

Dealbreakers:

Tattoos. Non-ear Piercings.



I'd write it just like that but not go into detail. If someone wants to ask you about it, they'll message, and you can tell them you find them to be unattractive and have a serious aversion to them and thus don't want to date anyone with them because you know you'll never accept them and that's that.

You can't, because that attitude is negative. If that's who you are, accept it and realize that you're limiting yourself to people who are as judgmental as you are.

Whats wrong with a tattoo and body piercings?

I don't think that he's being judgemental. And, having a bunch of tattoos and piercings (and being more attracted to women who also have them), I am a kinda sensitive to that when it happens. He's just stating how he finds them to be a dealbreaker, not expressing any judgement about the character of those who have them. Maybe he thinks less of such people, I don't know but, if so, he's doing the right thing and keeping it to himself.

To answer the original question; just say something along the lines of "sorry, but tattoos and piercings are a dealbreaker." you don't need to say more than that. It shouldn't come across as too negative, especially to women who don't have any.

Be blunt and do what goldfish21 suggested.

Willard may be right but the people you will be offending are people that will not be interested in you anyway so it’s win/win situation in my opinion.

Personally it isn't a deal breaker for me but I would never tattoo or pierce myself. I consider myself off beat but people with tattoos and piercing have always found me too square.

Any tattoo? Even a tiny butterfly one?

Do you hate ALL tattoos? Even the ones that memorialize someone they loved? What if a person has an "autism awareness" tattoo? Is that also a turn off? I ask because I also find tattoos to be a turn off but the ones I've mentioned wouldn't turn me off. Maybe if you can be accepting of certain kinds then you shouldn't write "no tattoos" on your profile, you should probably just ask them if they have one, and if they say yes, then ask how many and what they are and see if you're still turned off.

Thanks for the many suggestions and questions.Perhaps I MAY be able in time be able to accept a small, non-visible one (like the aforementioned butterfly but for now the answer is no, with no exceptions whatsoever. As for a "memorial" one, my memory of my recently deceased grandfather is in my heart and I don't need any physical reminders or to broadcast it to the world. I understand many will disagree with that sentiment but that's my honest feeling although it's not my intention to offend or sound arrogant.

The short answer is I think they are ugly and in the case of tattoos permanent. The long answer is that I am attracted to women with 'traditional' femininity and dress conservatively. I know that's weird because I get along best with more 'hip' girls but only as acquaintances at most. I know this is not a popular opinion here but I feel that tattoos are hideously ugly and I am disgusted by the sight of a girl with a visible one. That doesn't even go into the idea that tattoos are a conformist fad among young women just like teenage boys getting their left ear pierced like Michael Jordan was when I was a teenager. Kind like how someone expresses their individuality: just like everyone else.

There's also the issue of reducing employment opportunities, as that permanently ends many careers before they start, like journalism or high end customer service. My first retail job would NOT hire anyone with a tattoo or piercing, with the exception of women allowed a single set of "studs or hoops". I actually love earrings on women but only one set. Having said that, I can overlook multiple as long as it's not overkill (say more than 3 lobe, 1 upper ear). I had a woman who looked perfect on my eHarmony page but sorry to say she had a HIDEOUS eyebrow ring and it looked so ugly on her, especially since she worked at a Pharmacy, a place where those type of things are usually shunned and she dressed and had her hair done very conservatively and professionally. I don't mind skin imperfections, birthmarks, scars, skin color etc because they were NOT a choice unlike tattoos and body piercings.

I realize I am starting to ramble but essentially the answer is I don't like them and will never like them end of story. I know that sounds narrow minded but that's how I feel. I think I will just go ahead and say it on my profile because there is NO wiggle room on that one and the ones offended I wouldn't want to date anyway. Yes, I emphasize again it's THAT much of a deal-breaker. Thanks for the input and look forward to hearing more thoughts.

I understand your feelings. I also find tattoos/piercings a turn off. I personally don't have one, I don't even have my ears pierced. I'm told I'm "boring" because of it. Looks like you're ONE person who actually prefers it though, cool beans

There is nothing inherently wrong with tattoos and body piercings; some people just don't like them.

Personally, I prefer the sight of a woman's body without the ink and hardware. There's just something about the natural look that (to me) is more attractive than even the simplest addition of ordinary makeup.

But that's just me. Your results may vary.

Well, no one would like me then, I have 4 tattoos and proud of them!

Admittedly they're all hidden when I wear my work shirt, but they're still there.

Why don't you just put up your profile without mentioning about tattoos first? You might not even get any messages from tattooed women. If you become bombarded with messages from them, then you might want to think about mentioning.

I agree with this. If you use OKCupid, several of the questions are about how you feel about tattoos. Find those and answer them, and it will show up as part of your match percentages.

I think you definitely need to mention it in your profile. Tattoos are not always in visible places, so if you don't mention it beforehand, you might get friendly with somebody online and become emotionally involved with her, only to find out later down the line that she has a tattoo somewhere intimate.

I think it would be fine to just state briefly in your profile: "if you have a tattoo please don't contact me, as I find tattoos a huge turn-off." You may get messages from angry people ranting at you and saying they love their tattoos. Ignore them.

I completely disagree that having preferences with regards to the opposite sex makes you "negative." Having a preference for a certain appearance in the opposite sex does not make a person "negative." It just means they have a certain "type" that they are attracted to, and another certain "type" that they are not attracted to. In my opinion, you are allowed to like what you like, and you are also allowed to dislike what you dislike. Your tastes are unique, and nobody has any right to lecture you for them.

The angry tattooed ladies have an abundance of other men to choose from in the world if they want to find a man who does like tattoos and will find their tattood bodies attractive.

This is pretty much how I feel about it.

I know my tattoos and piercings (more than just a couple of discreet ones, 9 rings in my face alone) are a big turn off for the vast majority of women. I also know there are more than enough women out there who do like them (and some like them quite a bit) to keep me busy for the rest of my life. And hey, wild coincidence, the few who do like them tend to have at least a few of their own which makes them more attractive to me. Nice how that works out, isn't it?