The elusive second date

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Hey, guys. I'm new. So, anyhow, I've actually had some luck the past 12 months- got myself into good shape, able to be more outgoing with strangers, etc. I've had two dates the past six months. Both of them I thought went well enough. I was friendly, took care of the tab/check, dressed well,, etc. I guess what I'm asking is what are the best ways to increase the likelihood of a second date. I feel comfortable talking to strangers I guess. Like I have no problem making small talk with people at bars, clubs, and musical venues among other things but I guess I still sort of stutter when nervous and do struggle with eye-contact when it comes to strangers. I've never really been one for physical affection either.

I know there are some articles out there talking about how a men needs to make some physical contact on the 1st date lest the girl think he's not interested.

You're right. I read that after the second one I had. Thing is though I made it clear I was interested in as so many words. I think the reason why I hesitated with physical contact is that I was unsure how much or what kind I should be making.

You should at some point try and kiss her, if she turns away or slaps you you know for certain then and there no second date

Honestly despite everyone's good Cristian upbringing some jokes in the vein of "would you like to see my etchings" will actually help a lot. The primary difference between a friend and a boyfriend is attraction so you kind of have to drive that home. obviously everyone is different but my most successful "relationships" (if they can be called that) have involved what I considered to be an overwhelming amount of sexual tension. (though in review with a friend of mine I was informed this is merely what everyone else calls "flirting".)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-son3EJTrU#t=162

Did you ever ask them to go out again? They were probably waiting for you to ask, if you didn't.

You should at some point try and kiss her, if she turns away or slaps you you know for certain then and there no second date

Honestly despite everyone's good Cristian upbringing some jokes in the vein of "would you like to see my etchings" will actually help a lot. The primary difference between a friend and a boyfriend is attraction so you kind of have to drive that home. obviously everyone is different but my most successful "relationships" (if they can be called that) have involved what I considered to be an overwhelming amount of sexual tension. (though in review with a friend of mine I was informed this is merely what everyone else calls "flirting".)


Good idea about the kiss. That's something I honestly will try next time. Just don't know if a kiss is the best way to start or close. I've hugged upon the opening of both dates though. Got no problem doing either but I just have a problem with making physical contact throughout the whole event especially if it's with a stranger. Good point though about jokes.

Last edited by LeftWeems on 22 Jan 2014, 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah I did in both instances. First girl was nice enough to text me back and say she thought I was a nice enough guy but she didn't really feel any chemistry with me. Second girl did reply after I texted her wishing a good night and that I hoped to do a date in the foreseeable future but didn't after that. Buddy of mine though told me that I should have asked for a second date pretty close after but I was conservative given that this was right before Christmas and when a lot of the transplants in the DC area (herself being one of them) visit family outside the area.