Love and Finance

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Boy has it been a while since I have been on these forums. didn't think I could remember my username and password. But yeah anyways:

Oh how love loves to kick you in the face. I am unsure of how to handle my current predicament. I have been thrown into a divide. I know I may come of as a mere 15 year old girl who has been struck with puppy love but the question still stands for adults. I have fallen in love with a guy. He knows this. He is a lot like me in a sense. The way we think and process information is something quite relative.

He knows how i think. He understands my Aspie life. I think he likes me as well.. He cares a lot about me.

But there is a couple of issues. One, he lives a state away. Thats stressful as it is.

But two: He might have the same issue as I do (at least on the surface. I don’t know if he has Aspergers or anything like that. Just that on the surface we tend to have the same problems.) He can’t hold a job very well. Since he lives in a different state, I can’t help him with getting into programs and services. He may not be able to in the long run. Who knows?

Still, I feel trapped and walking a tightrope to a goal that I cant see. Balancing this problem in my head hoping that I can get to the end of this goal that seems to fantasmical. <.< if thats even a word.

Still, I love him… dearly. But…

Love?… or Finances?

I feel torn of the two. We have known each other for about 7 months now.. dating for like… 3 months.. What to do? Is it worth it?

Go date a richer guy now and you'll get the answer to your question.

No one else, other than you, can tell you what's more important for you.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what is better for me. I have no problem being the only worker in a household so long as I can afford it and others contribute in other ways. I am just afraid either way. I can not control how I feel. I can't control that. But I am so scared of being so poor that I can't afford to live but I am also so afraid of losing some one I love. I am afraid of being alone.. not because of the love factor.. but because I feel lost in this world because of the Aspergers. I have cut out so much as it is. I can't disregard it either way.

I don't know how to make my own decisions. I don't know anymore what is right for me. I really dont...

Even when I write it down and break it down further, I still don't know how to come to final conclusion sometimes.

[opinion]Love.[/opinion]

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.

I think I can understand you to an extend: My ex had a very bad situation with his finances as he had a lot of debt, but no chance to make reasonable income with his work and he still was unwilling to change it. It was a great burden sometimes and it was tough to have to pay for everything, even though I was still a student. We ended up breaking up later for other reasons.

I would still say that if you feel you really love him and that he is the one for you, it is worth fighting through. He might still find employment in the future that he can handle well.

Don't lose your hope, true love is a treasure worth keeping

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDK9QqIzhwk[/youtube]

I had to...

Again, I tell you...the only way to find out is to date richer guys.

Telling him about it is up to you.

If the love was enough, it would outweigh finances and you wouldn't be questioning whether or not finances would cause the relationship not to happen... I thought love was supposed to be unconditional.

I don't know what to say except women are expensive and I don't even like spending money on myself I felt so guilty I bought gta v on launch day hadn't done that in like 20 years

are you depressive if you are I wouldn't be making any decisions .

Age 15 or 25 as your profile says?

Either way, only you can decide what your values are.

You have to do the math on this and figure out whether he adds to your life or subtracts from it. If he contributes to your life being better having him in it, then maybe you should be together. If you weigh the pros and cons and he's a financial, energy, time, effort, and just general drain on your life.. then it may be pretty clear that you're better off flying solo. Totally up to you to decide whether he adds to your life or takes away from it.

I guess the only thing of real value I have to say is that I could never ever see myself being with someone that I felt took away from my life, or I from theirs, vs. adding to one another in as many ways as possible - ie love, common interests, finances, motivation, goal setting & achieving etc. That's a massive reason I've remained single as my life has been in shambles in the past and I didn't feel I could contribute to anyone else' life in a positive way. Now that my health and finances are both improving dramatically, I'm beginning to think and feel otherwise and I know I won't be single forever.

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