What's your flirting style? (link provided)

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aspiemike
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06 Jan 2014, 2:39 pm

I just did the following test to check out my flirting style. I was actually kinda surprised with the results in regards to the fact that Traditional comes first with Polite and Physical coming in second.

This is an interesting test to take. Mind you I answered honestly and I am also reading through the book as well.

http://www.flirtingstyles.dept.ku.edu/#sthash.ZcQyRGjj.dpbs


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buffinator
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06 Jan 2014, 3:08 pm

just posting so I remember to do this later


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MadeUnderground
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06 Jan 2014, 3:23 pm

My score was as follows:

1. Very Sincere - (Saying I scored higher than 80-90% of other survey takers)
Description copied from website:

You are very interested in seeking emotional connection and showing sincere interest when flirting. You find flirting very flattering, and strongly believe that personal and private conversation is the best way to develop romance. When flirting, it is very likely that you are:
Successful
Confident
Able to quickly determine relationship potential
In serious relationships, you are very likely to experience a strong emotional connection and sexual chemistry.


2. The second two were tied, rated at 70-80% higher than other survey takers:
a) Somewhat Physical

You are somewhat comfortable and competent in expressing your sexual interest to potential partners. You are somewhat capable of figuring out that potential partners are interested in you, and somewhat effective at conveying romantic interest to potential partners. In your last serious relationship, it was somewhat likely that you:
Felt attracted right away.
Were successful when you flirted using your body language.


b) Somewhat Polite
You believe that courtship should be cautious and rule-governed. You are somewhat likely to use proper manners, non-sexual communication, and less forward behavior during courtship. You tend to be somewhat choosey about who you flirt with, and it is somewhat likely that you took a long time to get to know someone before you knew you were romantically interested in them. You are not very likely to like the singles scene and the way people typically flirt with one another. You are somewhat likely to seek out important and meaningful romantic relationships

3. Somewhat Playful (60-70%)

You are somewhat likely to use flirting to boost your self-esteem and to have a good time. You do not really believe that flirting should be reserved for the purpose of developing a relationship. You are somewhat likely to flirt with those who you have no long-term romantic interest. You are somewhat likely to find romantic interest in many other people, and to flirt everywhere you go. You believe that flirting is flattering and enjoyable. In your last serious relationship, you were somewhat likely to have a short and unimportant relationship that moved quickly, but didn’t last.

4. Not at all Traditional (10-20%)
You do not believe that men should make the first move and women should not pursue men. You are very unlikely to feel uncomfortable in a flirting situation where a woman takes charge. You tend to be not at all choosey about who you flirt with, and it is very unlikely that you are selective about who you pursue romantic relationships with. In serious relationships, you do not believe that you should know a potential relationship partner for a long time before approaching them. You are very unlikely to seek out important and meaningful romantic relationships.

I sort of disagree with my last one but whatever..

Some of the answers also contradict each other. Like one score section to the other.. And then also the first sentence of the Traditional score. If I don't believe men should pursue women and women shouldn't pursue men, then who does the pursuing?! LOL



appletheclown
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06 Jan 2014, 3:49 pm

My results were: "Be Vermin Supreme"......


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leafplant
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06 Jan 2014, 4:07 pm

I knew it would end up being "playfull" but I am a bit narked off with *not very sincere*. To be fair, when I am actually attracted to someone I try my very best to hide it, so it makes sense.

Physical style: not at all physical

You scored higher than 0–10% of other survey takers in your demographic.
You are not at all comfortable and competent in expressing your sexual interest to potential partners. You are not at all capable of figuring out that potential partners are interested in you, and not at all effective at conveying romantic interest to potential partners. In your last serious relationship, it was very unlikely that you:

Felt attracted right away.
Were successful when you flirted using your body language.

Traditional style: not very traditional

You scored higher than 20–30% of other survey takers in your demographic.
You do not really believe that men should make the first move and women should not pursue men. You are not very likely to feel uncomfortable in a flirting situation where a woman takes charge. You tend to be not very choosey about who you flirt with, and it is not very likely that you are selective about who you pursue romantic relationships with. In serious relationships, you do not really believe that you should know a potential relationship partner for a long time before approaching them. You are not very likely to seek out important and meaningful romantic relationships.

Polite style: not very polite

You scored higher than 20–30% of other survey takers in your demographic.
You do not really believe that courtship should be cautious and rule-governed. You are not very likely to use proper manners, non-sexual communication, and less forward behavior during courtship. You tend to be not very choosey about who you flirt with, and it is not very likely that you took a long time to get to know someone before you knew you were romantically interested in them. You are somewhat likely to like the singles scene and the way people typically flirt with one another. You are not very likely to seek out important and meaningful romantic relationships.

Sincere style: not very sincere

You scored higher than 30–40% of other survey takers in your demographic.
You are not very interested in seeking emotional connection and showing sincere interest when flirting. You find flirting not very flattering, and do not really believe that personal and private conversation is the best way to develop romance. When flirting, it is not very likely that you are:

Successful
Confident
Able to quickly determine relationship potential

In serious relationships, you are not very likely to experience a strong emotional connection and sexual chemistry.

Playful style: very playful


You scored higher than 80–90% of other survey takers in your demographic.
You are very likely to use flirting to boost your self-esteem and to have a good time. You do not believe that flirting should be reserved for the purpose of developing a relationship. You are very likely to flirt with those who you have no long-term romantic interest. You are very likely to find romantic interest in many other people, and to flirt everywhere you go. You strongly believe that flirting is flattering and enjoyable. In your last serious relationship, you were very likely to have a short and unimportant relationship that moved quickly, but didn’t last.


Erm. My last serious relationship lasted nine years and was really effing important. To be fair, it did not last, but it did not move quickly either.



TheGoggles
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06 Jan 2014, 7:57 pm

My Sensai trained me in the ways of the Drunken Master.



MjrMajorMajor
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06 Jan 2014, 8:13 pm

Playful style: somewhat playful

You scored higher than 70–80% of other survey takers in your demographic.

You are somewhat likely to use flirting to boost your self-esteem and to have a good time. You do not really believe that flirting should be reserved for the purpose of developing a relationship. You are somewhat likely to flirt with those who you have no long-term romantic interest. You are somewhat likely to find romantic interest in many other people, and to flirt everywhere you go. You believe that flirting is flattering and enjoyable. In your last serious relationship, you were somewhat likely to have a short and unimportant relationship that moved quickly, but didn’t last. - See more at: http://flirtingstyles.dept.ku.edu/resul ... SaKDs.dpuf



singularity
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06 Jan 2014, 8:51 pm

I can't tell when someone is interested in me, and i don't communicate my attraction to someone else very well. Gee. What a surprise.



KWifler
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06 Jan 2014, 11:11 pm

Flirting Styles Inventory

Your results are in!

Physical style: not very physical
Sorry, but I don't touch strangers or people I don't have an intimacy contract with.
Traditional style: not very traditional
As a man with autism who is expected to go after women and be all macho, I wouldn't be, would I?
Polite style: not at all polite
That much is true! I would prefer to skip any flirting or dating phase and just get to the wholesome family life.
Sincere style: sincere
Outrageous! It says my sincerity is irrelevant to my flirting style... What a joke.
Playful style: somewhat playful
I don't know about this one. I am usually too paralyzed to flirt with strangers. I get more flirty with people I've known for a while. If I sense even the slightest possibility that a relationship is shallow, it never develops into a relationship.


I'm not surprised at all, really. I would prefer to skip any flirting or dating phase and just get to the wholesome family life.


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Last edited by KWifler on 06 Jan 2014, 11:21 pm, edited 3 times in total.

aspiemike
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06 Jan 2014, 11:47 pm

I kind of disagreed with my flirting style to a degree. I was surprised that sincerity wasn't higher. But I am more traditional in the sense that women pursuing me has actually turned me off (they tend to cling, or use me for something and walk away). Yet, I actually understand my physical flirting style, and I realize now as I said before that I was somewhat succesfful with picking up women in the past. But my tradtional side did in fact get in the way on some occasions (slower to build chemistry, others wanted things to move more quickly).

BTW... if anyone here is a physical flirt... congratulations, you are more likely to be a succesfful PUA. and yes the book has covered that topic in a few paragraphs in the Physical Flirt section (will bring up Polite style next post in this thread).


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Moviefan2k4
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07 Jan 2014, 2:26 am

Here's how my numbers measured up...

Physical - 10% to 20%
Traditional - 70% - 80%
Polite - 90% to 100%
Sincere - 60% to 70%
Playful - 0% to 10%


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aspiemike
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07 Jan 2014, 11:30 am

This is also from the Flirting book from Jeffrey Hall and this is how it is coming across. Sure enough you can find the information on the internet somewhere. If not, I can post what I have learned from reading if you would rather read it here.

For the Polite flirts- you are more likely to be true and honest to yourself and prefer to get to know someone before entering a relationship with them. Meaning the bars and nightclubs are the place you don't want to meet the person you want a relationship with (obviously). The physical style is often more direct, dominant and assertive while the polite is more bound to rules and making sure the other person is comfortable. The physical style is more welcome in bars and nightclubs and is usually more extroverted. Polite ones are a bit more introverted. Can anyone see why PUA's primarily target extroverted physical types and hookup culture?

The polite style is the second most common flirting style. I sense my girlfriend is definitely high on the polite flirting style. Typically, polite ones take their time getting into the relationship and often struggle in letting others know they are interested in them (may make more direct people feel rejected, are often accused of having "no game"). They are very strict about coming off as desperate, clingy and needy, and hate it when people use pick up lines on them or are very forward with the physical touch. Physical types will never come across as unhappy, while the polite ones will when in the wrong environment.

Compare the two styles so far. Physical ones move quickly in relationships, and may have shorter term and less meaningful relationships. The polite style will likely have a longer lasting relationship when they get there.


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aspiemike
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07 Jan 2014, 12:05 pm

As with MadeUndergrounds response in here about his playful flirting style (which isnt his predominate one though), it would show he has some "game" and understands it better than the majority of people that answered in his age gap.

Playful flirts are never looking for serious relationships. They use flirting and sex as something that doesn't have to mean anything. Are more likely than the physical type to use negging (teasing) to work a girl or guy. Girls are far more likely to hook up than guys, while guys typically don't care what the results are. Playful girls actually like it when the guy escalates the tension and are often turned on by it. The playful guy may or may not do it though. The playful guy just likes to tease.
Of course the playful flirts (more specifically guys) are more willing to bring someone down a notch and "tell it like it is."

Of course, it's harder to tell when their romantic interest being conveyed is actually serious or not. Playful flirts are very succesfful in clubs and getting numbers and getting people to do things for them as well. Flirting doesn't mean anything and is a means to an end as Jeffrey Hall describes it. The only thing that matters to the playful flirt is having a good time regardless of the company they are around. It should be no surprise that literal thinking people aren't happy when they deal with this type of flirt and are actually interested in them.


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aspiemike
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07 Jan 2014, 1:05 pm

The Sincere flirt is easily the nice guy/girl. They don't like using pickup lines and don't believe in hooking up with people they met at bars will work out. But they do enjoy the enviornments once in a while when out with friends and enjoy talking when possible. But they may complain about the noise making it hard to talk and get to know people there. Are less likely to be traditional and playful and more likely to be physical and polite.

More interested in emotional connections as pointed out in MadeUnderground's answer. Is more open to new experiences and displaying himself as they are. Don't care about how others think of them or feel about them and won't hide who they are from other people. Being genuine and honest is the way to go. Is more likely to love travelling than other types of flirts.

Is the most common flirting style among both men and women.


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metaldanielle
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07 Jan 2014, 2:12 pm

80-90% physical
10-20% traditional
60-70% polite
0-10% sincere
90-100% playful

I disagree w/ the majority of the interpretation of playful flirts. I'm playful, yes, but I'm not a tart.


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aspiemike
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08 Jan 2014, 12:18 pm

For the playful flirts, I should add that just like the polite flirts, it can be difficult for others to determine their romantic interests. For playful, it would be hard to take their romantic interest seriously, or other than just friendly flirtation. Polite people because they aren't direct and forward enough or quick enough to show the interest.

The Traditional flirts believe in the gender role more strongly. But women are far more traditional than men. This is where you will more likely find the belief that women need to be chased and desired while men need to compete for women's attention. Are more likely to see that women needs to be protected, men needs to be the knight in shining armour. Of course, traditional women value rich husbands more than any other flirt while men value the trophy wife more. The traditional flirts are usually more scripted in their approach... even more so than the polite flirt.

Interestingly enough, Traditional women are more playful and polite and men are usually more polite or phyiscal (hey, that's me). We for some reason believe that women dislike jealousy on this forum. While true when it's made clear that she isn't interested, but Traditional women value being desired and chased after and competed for. They love feeling sexy. They also love having their value go up over men figthing for them... again that is the traditional women with her playfulness put together as well. Traditional women know how to play the game, and some men are capable as well. Women are more likely to be traditional in their 20's compared to when they hit their 30's and 40's.

Based on what I have read... physical men and playful women mix well together for sexual chemistry. Traditionals mix well together for romance, and chemistry. Since people won't mix well with playful types. Polite mixes well with Traditional and Sincere for emotional and romantic reasons. Physical and playful flirting styles will pose the biggest problems to established relationships.


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Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
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You are very likely an Aspie