Ode to V-Day

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Underneathe the cool placidity of the water,
Far below where nets of light can color this silent abyssal world;
Somewhere deep in this darkness...
I am lost.

Should I at least try to kick and scream and struggle my way up?
Only to inorexiably lose breath?
Or should I remain in this quiet repose?

Alas, I can only stay anchored here, just under the thermocline,
Where I can feel my heart is at its coldest.
No more fighting.
Just let the waves rush over my body and roll off
Into this absence of ambience.

Where am I anyway?
How did I get here?

I look up;t
There is no answer;
No light;
No surface to these troubles...
Only loneliness and solitude.

How can I swim with these hands?
These legs?
And this heart?
All so weak and inadequate when I need them most.

The pressure cannot be any greater.
I am at the bottom.
So come swim over me without seeing me...
Laugh and play in the sun above for me,
As my days are long gone...

And I shall continue to lay waste at the bottom of my ocean,
In cold, dark, unwanted silence.



This is a poem I wrote the night before V-Day when I was 18. I had it permanently marked upon my body in the form a a tattoo (sorry no pic, but it's a small tribal ocean wave) on V Day...

Stinking V Day. Story of my life.