Helping a geeky NT out in the Dating Game.

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I recently bumped into an old school friend. After talking with him for a while I realise that he had a worse time dating then I did. Not having any girl friend whatsoever at the age of 32, one year younger them me.

I never had serious relationship as such, or a healthy one as such and only had a sexual relationship with only 4 of them; but I did get very close to others that I did not have any sexual relationship with. It was easy to forget about relationships that I once had.

A few times, I take him to nightclubs; he does not have much success there. Even I have a limited success. Sometime I find a girl that is a little attracted to me, giving me a snog, though not always giving me their number afterwards. But for him, this has never happened.

The worst thing is he, being a NT, has no new ideas or plans self-improvement and unless someone can help him, things will unlikely to change for the better. In many ways he appears more geek then I do.

I think helping him is the best way off forgetting my own problems as they don’t compare to his. I think I am better position to help him then someone who has it easy dating and never has to understand intellectually what he is doing right.

print off and give him Data Sage's guide (in Love and Dating) and Mordy's post "understanding women" in the men's forum.

All the guys I hang out with are total geeks (like me) and they have horrible times even getting anyone to notice them. My suggestion for this guy is he needs to be around and involved with other people like him... geeks. I have only dated geeks and will only date other fellow geeks. We all meet up at a certain bar that has free wifi and hang out and geek together. We go to geeky conventions and go to geeky movies. Even the geekiest of the geeks can get a date, but it usually happens once they embrace the geek culture.

I thing he is pretty good at finding male friends much like himself. He keeps busy on the phone to his friends he spends £40 a month on a contract phone.

Even though I think he is an NT because he does smalltalk very wall, he can talk about various facts like what the size of the sun is. Some time his talk about his chosen sciences can bore me. Maybe he uses too many words to explain individual thought.

Generally he is ok with his friends, and I am sure that he will find many more. But unless someone like me can help me, I don’t see his situation improve very much. Next weak I am taking him to Chemistry at the Hammersmith palay. It is a singles party that use Key and Locks to encourage shy men to approach woman as there could be a chance to win a price of the key unlocks the lock.. I will not be using any gimmicks like that I will just go up to them and say hello.

Anyone who is in need of help from an Aspie must be desperate.

As for the Keys & Locks things. How old are these people ?
I think your idea of approaching and saying "Hello" is probably best.

Well if you are sometimes bored with his geeky science talk, do you think that going to a singles function or bar is going to bring him Miss Chemistry Genius? What you should look into is what are his hobbies, his passions. If he is passionate about chemistry then find a local chemistry enthusiast club, look up chemistry lectures at surrounding colleges.... but I tell you the best way to meet girls is through your other friends. And, if he is an NT, he could make lots of them if he wanted to

Taking advice from an NT not a good idea even if they are gifted. Most of there time the best advice they can give is. Be yourself, stop trying so hard and just be relaxed. The thing about this advice is it is not from a person who had to work hard go get there and just find love without thinking.

The average age is 25-45 or 40 I am not sure.

http://www.chemistry.co.uk/ if any of you sucker in London 16-feb , come along.

Would you take advice from a short basketball player even if he can jump like a supersonic rocket but cant quite makes a slam-dunk.

Hey aspie chav, I'm trying to get to talk to you in private so we can discuss some scientific interests, you've got some interesting views on things and I think you can help me out. I tried to e-mail you before but I guess you didn't get my message. Is there a place I can write to you at in private?

Neve really check my emials, I will will do so now.

Could he be gay?

Maybe he goes with you to the clubs because he enjoys your company. If he has such an easy time talking to men but doesn't seem motivated to talk to women or learn how, there may be another reason than social awkwardness.

It's just a possibility.

Could he be gay?

Maybe he goes with you to the clubs because he enjoys your company. If he has such an easy time talking to men but doesn't seem motivated to talk to women or learn how, there may be another reason than social awkwardness.

It's just a possibility.

No his not gay, but he does like very young girls at around 21 years old. The girls that are his type would simply not be interested in him . At least I would have a good chance with an aspie woman if I could find them and if I don’t find one there will always be a few intellectual woman out their.

What is the situation he as to find someone in their 30 who probably already as kids and had a life with a stud and left both of you with the package.

Not necessarily. I married at 39 for the first time and I have no children still. A lot of women are postponing having kids until their 30s or even later in life.

He has to be realistic and he has to ask himself what he really wants. If all he really wants is to get laid by college age women then he is standing in a long, long line. And it is not likely to improve his odds of finding a woman to be happy with. He needs to ask himself if he wants to just have sex, or have a relationship and either way what are the things that are most important to him.

If he is totally inflexible and unrealistic as to what he wants then he has to be prepared to wait a long time, I'm afraid, unless he is Brad Pitt, magnetically alluring somehow, or has a lot of cash (and the women are golddiggers). If he can narrow it down to even dark hair, slender, pleasant personality, or narrow it to interests in common, etc., he will be including a lot more potential dates.

Hope that helped.