Being on Anti-depressants possible dealbreaker?

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The girlfriend just found out yesterday that I'm on anti-depressants.. I was more or less forced to take them post concussion due to my past history of depression. I started them a couple weeks before meeting her, and after becoming a Christian.

Problem.. her view on medication is that she doesn't believe people need them from what I heard her say last night. Today on the phone, she asked me why I held that from her (must be open if you're dating being the reason). I get the impression that she is bothered by it. When asked why I held it in, i said "There is a stigma that comes from having to take pills, and I know people are likely to walk away."

Has anyone had this pop up as a dealbreaker in any of their relationships?

No, I have not had that come up in relationships. But then again I think most of the people I have dated were also on anti-depressants.

So many people are on antidepressants these days I feel like it's much rarer to find someone who hasn't taken them at some point in their life or some sort of anti anxiety med. I used to be on ADD, anxiety, antidepressants and sleep meds. That was 10 months ago. Now I don't take anything. I will be resuming my ADD meds when I go back to school and take my sleep meds whenever I need to readjust my sleep schedule. I do want to take something for my obsessive thought but I'd rather it not be prozac..

Sorry for the ramble. I don't think it should be a deal breaker but for others it may be.

I have reservations against personality disorders however.

Yeah, I know that a lot of people are taking something these days. I went eight years without taking anti-depressants. I had been in unhappy relationships at certain points and it turns out walking away made me happier. So there were minor instances of depression that occurred along the way. The post concussion issues were severe enough that I had no choice but to go on anti-depressants. This was also the first winter where I never sufferred a seasonal depression either.

Frankly I don't see what the big deal is; if you take meds and they work for you then why would it be held against you, especially something as common as depression? It sounds like she is just caught up on meds in principal and not on any tangible issue being caused by them.

I think she needs to get over it and find something better to worry about, and if she wants to dump you for it then you can find someone better who isn't going to criticize you over the medication you take. It doesn't matter what she believes about medication, if it works for you then it works. (No, I am not on meds, myself)

IF she can't accept that you have a medical problem, RUN FAR AWAY QUICKLY! DO NOT get further involved. It will end with you miserable, however it goes.

Chances are it's not the fact that you're on meds but more so that you concealed it.

Just tell her:

Stigma - as you said.
It's personal & between you and your doctor.
You feel vulnerable and thus concealed it vs. concealing it because you don't trust her judgement of you.
It's temporary, likely, and you didn't think she needed to know about it while you deal with yourself for your own reasons in the best ways you & your doctor know how.

If she can maturely move forward with your relationship, great. If she can't, she may not be someone you want to spend more of your life with.

I agree with this. She said she didn't like that it wasn't brought up sooner. Something about it though sounded that she was against medication as well.

And some people are. (against meds.)

I didn't used to be. Years ago I was reluctant to try any meds, said I didn't need them. Then I was open to trying some & did and they helped. Then I tried different ones that helped with different symptoms. Overall I was on brain meds for, oh, I don't know.. 8 or so years? They served their purpose at the time but I've since learned and done different things and have now been off all meds for ~8 months and hope to never have to have a reason to go back to them. I'd much rather use natural medicines/herbs/diet etc than pharmaceuticals. I've found it to be much healthier. But to each their own - pharmaceuticals can be a great short term solution, even years, providing a crutch until people figure out what's causing their issues in the first place and deal with healing it.

Everyone's opinion on meds varies, and some of us have changing evolving opinions the shift with new information and experiences. The only way you're going to know what her thoughts are about it is if you talk to her about it. Maybe having an open discussion about it will make her a little more open minded about things.

I refused for years to take them again. I felt there was no reason as to why I should. I was good and happy. But as I said about what happened that left me no choice but to take them again.

Point out to her that the pills help with seratonin. They aren't an antipsychotic for gods sakes!! !! Tell her yes, you know there are people out there who have to take certain mental pills that would make most people not want to date them, but these are not that kind.

I'd also tell her that a lack of perspective on the part of the other person is a dealbreaker for you. Cause while you might just be on antidepressants, she's a whole nother kind of crazy.

The type that takes religion seriously and can't distinguish between facts and the message behind it, aka taking everything literally.

I know some people find anti-depressants over perscribed.

I think it's a stupid deal breaker, especially if you need them as a result of a physical injury. I had a co-worker who took Cymbalta because he had back problems.

Thanks for the input, as I am trying to figure out the appropriate way how to deal with this. Right now I think Goldfish and Olive Oil Mom have said it right... and we will have to sit down and talk. We haven't communicated yet since it was brought up. I won't be communicating until I know for sure how I want to move forward with this conversation. Right now, I plan to show that I care and believe things can work out. But I've definitely prepared for the worst and ready to walk away (always need to be prepared in the dating world).

I have nothing against meds but feel they are over prescribed. Some people do have an imbalance but I feel more often than not changes in a persons life (better job, leave a relationship, etc.) would work with out all those lovely side effects. But the doctors don't get paid off that way.

I was put on a number of nice drugs in my teens, including Paxil. It wasn't good. I don't feel I ever really recovered. Now I won't take perscription meds unless a doc looks me in the forehead and says "You'll die without it."

OK, I did take antibiotics when I had Lyme disease, but you get the idea. How ever if another has tried changes and needs meds I won't hold it against them.