SO I lost the girl to another man.

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We weren't technically "dating" but she was seeing several people and more than a few were compatible is what I've gathered from some research and calm analysis. Basically she chose him because he was a better match, not sure by how much or how close I got to finally being in love with someone. But if he was competing against me when I didn't even know she was single I didn't have much chance since I was still keeping her in friend area of my head. Dunno if I could have won even without that. German is hard to learn. She wanted Europe.

He only did slightly better on that score and I know I could have shown more interest and put in more effort but I gave up thinking it was just sharing with a friend not her trying to pick someone. I knew it was important to her she tried to get me to do it, I just said it was too hard and I couldn't figure it out. I gave up, didn't know I was fighting but I gave up. He won. It hurts so much, and being the traditional aspie I told her everything I figured out haha...................

Doesn't matter though, I don't want to be the loser and stick around as the friend when I loved her. Wouldn't want to see what I missed out on that's just too painful. It hurts pretty bad right now, gonna try not to contact her anymore. I'm sure she doesn't want to hear anymore either since I figured out how close we came. Don't think I really have anything to say anymore since I lost fair and square. Give a guy a hug for a college try? Still, I'm glad she gave me a shot maybe I'll find someone else and it will work out better.

tell them how you feel. As an Aspie, you have the ability to be more blunt than the NTs around you. If you feel like that, then they deserve to know WHY you can't be around them. Explain it in terms of "I feel" not "you did this" and they should respect that. If they do not... then they weren't worth your time, anyway.

So sorry to hear this, K of K.

She already knows everything. I just wasn't experienced I think. I didn't know what to do or how to do it and because of that I didn't do it right. I'm still working on healing and getting myself back up. As for friends I can't be sure at this stage, we were never technically together so it may not be as bad. I'm not going to nurse the hope of a rekindling so that's out of the question. She decided I wasn't good enough or atleast not as good. I'm just angry she wanted to hide being single and it held me back, I think she did it because she wanted to stay friends so badly. I know I won't be able to see them together and be happy for a really long time glad we were only online friends in that respect. I still want to move to California because it's a nice place and I have lots of online friends there but I'm scared I'm doing it for her. One or two months I should be in working order again, I don't really like the waiting but as I have no other options with women it's gonna be the slow road. I don't want to wonder if we could have worked, it wasn't meant to be.

Cut her out of your life. Simple as that.

Get used to it. Personal relationships are about NTs lying to you to get your material goods until theyre so sick of you that its not worth it to them anymore.

Cut her out of your life... think why you lost, you might find out your shortcomings.