eharmony
Damn, that's messed up. I've only really used OKCupid. Got one date out of it and one girl who I think I could have gone on a date with but I didn't feel compatible with. Dating websites that charge seem like a bit of a waste IMO but I'm sure EHarmony is more apt at match-making then OKC is.
Meistersinger
Veteran
Joined: 10 May 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,700
Location: Beautiful(?) West Manchester Township PA
The site owner and creator is even against gay marriage and eHarmony didn't cater to gay and lesbian couples until a lawsuit forced them to launch their sister site called "compatible partners". It was initially a christian dating site.
I wish looking back that eHarmony wasn't the first dating site I tried. I went in with sky high expectations (having a high opinion of women in general) and was shocked to find women in general on these sites are poor quality. I broke off communications with several girls who contacted me and realize I may (or may not) have let my disillusionment blind me. They were probably the worst on the site but now I realize it doesn't get much better sadly. OKCupid and especially POF was just downright depressing.
eHarmony was by far the best and I had a very large number of matches but the interface was downright terrible and made me come across as a stalker because I could never remember which "Sarah" of the 8 I was communicating with without opening their profile again and again. That's not to mention the high cost and the VERY shady way they make it incredibly difficult to cancel your 'automatic renewal' membership. Yes, it did match me up with some very high quality, down to earth women but sadly none of them were interested. One even blocked me when I just asked to communicate Oh well it was a learning experience that's for sure. Wasn't as bad as most say but in three months, I got exactly 0 dates and only 1 communication that got serious: that is until she completely flaked on me after a couple of weeks.
eHarmony was by far the best and I had a very large number of matches but the interface was downright terrible and made me come across as a stalker because I could never remember which "Sarah" of the 8 I was communicating with without opening their profile again and again. That's not to mention the high cost and the VERY shady way they make it incredibly difficult to cancel your 'automatic renewal' membership. Yes, it did match me up with some very high quality, down to earth women but sadly none of them were interested. One even blocked me when I just asked to communicate Oh well it was a learning experience that's for sure. Wasn't as bad as most say but in three months, I got exactly 0 dates and only 1 communication that got serious: that is until she completely flaked on me after a couple of weeks.
What was your first message to them. I normally use OKCupid but my first message was usually a question. OKCupid's fine, you just need to know how to use your match questions to filter out all the bad matches. Doesn't always work because some people answer less than 10 questions but I normally won't message anyone who's answered less than 20.
With some of the points illustrated and knowing I have similar experiences... All I will say is this: Online dating sites almost destroyed my opinion of women and relationships. To this day, I wonder why I even bothered with a dating site when the overwhelming majority of relationships or flings I got into (9/10 approx) started offline.
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There was a thread about eHarmony recently: https://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf191911-0-30.html
It sounds like something between a scam and a cult. From http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the ... successful :
Normally I'd assume that last part is a joke, but given what I've heard about eHarmony so far, I'm not sure... But this explanation of their success sounds plausible to me. (Oh, and I'm a fan of Dan Ariely in general.)
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Reasons for being rejected by e-Harmony:
1. The number one reason is because the applicant is married. Close to 30 percent of all the applicants answer “yes” to being married on the questionnaire. This is surprising because you would think if someone were married and signing up (presumably to cheat) that they would lie about it. Apparently not. At the same time, I know several couples who have wanted to try eHarmony just to see if they would be matched with their husband or wife. Maybe these people account for some of the rejections? Seems hard to believe so many people would answer this way otherwise.
2. Almost as many applicants are rejected because they are below age 21, the minimum age for using the service.
3. If you are younger than 60 and have been married 4 or more times you’ll get rejected
4. Being gay or lesbian will get you rejected. eHarmony was actually sued over this and as part of the settlement has opened a new service called CompatiblePartners.
5. Answering the questions in a way that eHarmony considers inconsistent will get you rejected. Many of the questions are repeated throughout and if you answer similar questions in different ways, it can get you rejected.
6. If you answer the questions in such a way that eHarmony is unsure how to match you, you will also get rejected.
7. eHarmony will also reject you if they feel your profile answers suggest you have depression
http://www.datingadviceguy.com/2009/09/22/why-are-people-rejected-by-eharmony/
Here's essentially what I wrote. eHarmony has a guided communication process but I elected to skip it since I had already met this girl in person and had a 'small talk' chat about a year previously, which is where I found out how similar we were.