What are some good ways to make new friends?

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I have a hard time making friends it is hard for me, because I am always afraid people will find me annoying. I need friends who I can hang out with, not just chat with online. Please help me.

<--- Has the same issues.

This is my script:
1) wait for them to talk to you or use the skills taught on wp tv to get near them
2) first analyze and watch them, don't speak much. But remain receptive and friendly, smiling and laughing when they laugh.
3) with the information you gathered in your analysis, mimic them. Tell the same kind of joke they tell and talk like them. If something works, keep on doing it. If it doesn't, don't do it anymore (but it may be too late, so find another group)
4) in some months time you'll probably be friends with them, if you didn't make many mistakes. So gradually act less and be more yourself. Some won't like it, those can't be your friends.
5) some will like your true self, so be friends with those. (if you like them too of course) and never let them go.

Many prefer to talk on one-to-one, but I prefer talking to two at a time, because:
1) if you don't know what to say, you don't have to worry: the other two will keep the conversation going naturally.
2) if you don't know how to react to something one of them said, you can always mimic the other
3) on a one-to-one conversation you can't end the conversation suddenly, so you have to chit chat. When you're in a group of three you don't have to talk or pay attention all the time, they'll talk to each other and you will still be in the group.

That's it. It Works for me.

I don't know either. Maybe ask some NT's...

Find places where you can meet people who share the same interests you have.

Here is what I do. It worked for me.
I try to respect everyone and treat them the way I would want to be treated. I always try to make them feel special, whether it is by giving them a compliment, smile, hug, or something else. You could ask them if they need a hand.Also, I try to find out about their interests. Don't change yourself just to be someone's friend. People like authenticity. Besides, I want people to know the real me. Also, be positive! tbat helps a lot! Just dont get over excited because overexcited turns people away. But like I said, for me being kind, optimistic, and genuine has helped has been the key for me.

Last edited by Musicgirl on 23 Jan 2014, 9:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I do think we need to take a bit of a risk when it comes to making friends. If we don't talk to others or open up, people can't get close.

Why do you think you'll come across as annoying?

Speaking for myself, I'm very much aware that there is a lot of overlap between the core diagnostic criteria for AS and what allistics, especially but not exclusively female allistics, find "creepy" - everything from "improper" eye contact to "weird speech patterns". I'm not talking about inappropriate touching here (anyone can learn this as a rule) - I'm talking about conversation rules and things like social distance, as well as what I've already mentioned.

It makes talking to allistics, especially women, extremely tricky. I don't like imposing myself on people, and I really have a hard time interpreting their signals.

Asking NTs is next to useless - they assume everyone understands these things at an instinctive level, and it's not up to them to teach you. By some miracle, their rules say you have to do it by yourself. I understand why this is, but it does mean marginalisation for the aspie population.

Don't try to hard, that would piss people off(what I mean is don't try too hard to fit in, people notice that s**t and get annoyed).

Making friends with the right people can be easy.

Ways to help

1) Find something you like to do and join a club (Williard said this). In my case, I'm passionate about sports, so what I did was go to the rec center and played basketball. Met a group of guys that liked me and became friends (about 15 of them). We go out sometimes. If you like video games, join a video game club.Minor detail-- You should meet people that have the same interests as you, that way you can seem excited when you talk and you can keep conversation easy because you know your s**t.

2) Don't try too hard! Be yourself, people will have more respect for you that way. I have a group of people that hate me, that's fine with me because a majority of people respect me because I don't sell out. You have to be aware of who to trust and not to trust. Don't fit in with a crowd you don't feel comfortable with, you do yourself a disservice and that's desperate.

You've got to meet like-minded people. Don't just assume somebody is a douche or a jerk til you get to talk to them. After that, decide if this is the type of person I want to hang around with. If you don't trust a person after knowing them for awhile, they might be using you.

If somebody finds you creepy eff them. They aren't worth your friendship and aren't the type of people I'd want to hang with even if I was NT.

Honestly, me being an aspie has helped find the right people to be friends with. It's made me realize the type of people I don't want to associate with and people that like me for who I am.

People aren't just going to be your friend if you sit there, you gotta do some work or else you won't find friends.

Voluntary Work.

Just go do whatever it is you love doing and the right people will notice you loving doing it & voila, you'll meet new friends while you're already enjoying yourself. Even if you spend all day doing whatever you love and no one interacts with you, so what? You'll still have spent all day doing whatever you love.

Unless your favorite thing is nature photography, in which case you'll make friends with a lot of mosquitoes.