A lesson in love I learned without actually being in love

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Hi, I'm completely new here, so I thought I'd start off by sharing some wisdom I learned through personal experience.

Now most people who know me personally know that I’ve never had a boyfriend before, I'm 23.

A few weeks ago I decided to be brave for once and confess my supposed ‘feelings’ for someone I felt close to. He declined, but we both agreed that being just friends would be best. Now I had myself convinced before hand that if this were to happen then it wouldn’t be a big deal. Somehow though, after I logged off that night, it did bother me. I cried.

Did I just have my heart broken? Or was I upset that I even initiated the whole thing?

Either way I got through it and now we’re great friends. We have many similarities and differences, but I don’t think I’d want it to change, at least not now.

But here’s where the wisdom comes into play. At first I believed that I had fallen for him because he was nice to me. I don’t have any experience talking to guys outside the realm of friendship.

Now this friend of mine, he is blunt and a bit oblivious. He can be a bit of a cynic and even nihilistic. He thinks he’s an as*hole, and sometimes he can be, but I know that he (usually) doesn’t mean it.

So I now know that I confused his lack of meanness with relate able kindness. I saw what kindness he did show as something that might have become something more. I felt foolish for the whole thing. But now I know better. I mean having never been in a relationship, can you blame me?

... Erm, not trying to be rude but what did you learn exactly?

i guess i didnt make that clear

what i learned was to not jump to conclusions and attempt to form a relationship before i know where we're at in our friendship first

my apologies, I have trouble putting things into detail and I suppose I should've read that over before posting

I kind of know exactly what you meant by the thread title. Things you learn through failure or misreading or just plain experience that kind of teaches a lesson in something beyond what you just saw.

Well I dealt with a horrible tease, the only difference is we were great friends except with the teasing I got misled and it's basically ruined the friendship. Not going to be friends with them for a long time I think. It's good you tried it's always good to try.