Women SAY they want nice guys ...

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This webcomic hits the nail on the head with the sarcastic comments of the second character:

XKCD for February 03, 2014

The "mouseover" text reads, "Perhaps you need a crash course in taking hints. Here's your first lesson: We're not actually walking together, I'm trying to leave this conversation and you're following me."

What is their definition of a nice guy? Does this definition vary from woman from woman?

"Nice" has to be one of the most boring words we have.

I think no one wants an evil person. A dishonest person. But certain males here insist on thinking in black and white. That men are either nice or bad. Then often the ones that are rejected the most, like to attack, and say women are stupid and they say they want nice guys, but they don't really. That what they really want is bad guys. Because "so so" is a good man, and keeps being rejected.

I love how simplistic some of these views are.

No one is perfect. But there's always someone more suited for each one of us.

Nice Guy in this case is the protagonist of the friendzone. The guy who does not have the courage / ability to reach the woman and merely be praising, comforting her. He listens to her problems, this gives chocolates, do favors for her. All this in the hope that one day she realizes how much he is "nice" and fall in love with him.

Unfortunately, I was one of those guys.

But unlike most, I thought a lot and I am aware it is the fault solely of men (But sadly admit that there are women who are aware of the situation and decide to take advantage of this).

To add onto this. The "nice" guy that was rejected automatically assumes that the girl rejected him because he's nice. I've never rejected a guy because he was nice. Maybe guys need to really do some introspecting on this topic. Maybe they were needy, not showing they were trustworthy, maybe they weren't funny enough, or maybe, simply, the girl just wasn't attracted. There's so many reasons for rejection and it 99.9% of the time isn't happening due to someone being nice.

Truth.

Being "friendzoned" isn't the same as being rejected, either.

I´d think maybe the prob might be, that some guys see "being nice" as part of "getting a date with a girl".

I dont know, the majority of men I have met in my whole life, were nice. Sure being nice is part of socializing, because if you are not nice, people will not be interested anyway to interact with you, be it for simple neighborhood chatting, normal friendship or any other social contact. But being nice does not mean to fall in love for each other. My mom is as well nice, luckily that does not raise any special feelings in me. O_o

Being nice simply is a basic for "getting more opportunities to get in touch with all kind of other people". And meeting other people raises the chance of finding among them someone special you want to have an relationship with. But from all the male, nice person, I have met in my whole life, there are only three that I fell in love with.

Being nice is one of many steps to an potential relationship in life, but its sadly not the entry-card for it.

Ah-HAH!

So when guys rely solely on "being nice", they're "shooting themselves in the foot" with regard to elevating a relationship above the Friend Zone!

Maybe if they were also interesting ... perhaps developing talent with a musical instrument or some other form of artistic expression ... maybe having a hobby that allows them to have contact with women on their terms ... could be that being employed in something other than retail, like computer and network service ...

I dont think its shooting yourself in your foot. A girl being nice, hardly will make you turn away from a girl. It simply will not automatically lead you to fall in love with a certain girl. I´d think more then half of the people you meet everyday will be nice in general, but I dont think, you will fall in love with every second person you see.

Nice is not enough, as simple as that.

Being nice is a basic requirement to participate in society. All by itself, it is meaningless. Basically, everyone who is not incarcerated now or in the future is probably reasonably nice, at a minimum.

Further, being nice does not mean being a doormat.

Being overly nice (i.e., doormat) can paint one as needy, desperate, clingy, or any number of other negatively-perceived qualities, especially if nice is combined with lack of confidence and/or overt insecurity.

So, if everyone who is a reasonably functional member of society is nice, and that's all you've got going for you, it's going to be hard to attract a mate. As Fnord said, perhaps you should also be interesting. To me, what that means is "develop a good relationship with yourself before you try to develop a relationship with a significant other." Be yourself, emphasize your strengths, try to improve your weaknesses, get to where you are comfortable with who you are. THAT is the most attractive thing anyone can project out to the world.

That made me laugh Good point. Yes, there is much more to attraction than just being nice.

Nice is an insipid word. Many moons ago it actually meant a bad thing. It's a weird word.

Origins of the word nice

I don't think genuine niceness is ever an issue. Nice doesn't equal to being a doormat, desperate or clingy or any other negative qualities that are sometimes attempted to cover with a label of "too nice to date".

zzzZZZ

Honestly, I never thought that being nice was a turn off for women until the internet got loaded with all this "nice guy" garbage.

I don't think anybody said being nice was a turn-off for women! I just think that it is a minimum acceptable standard for socialization. The myth of "women reject me because I'm too nice" is just that - a myth. As the comic in the OP depicted, it's an excuse guys use when they've been rejected for some entirely different reason.

I think if women ever do use the actual phrase "you're too nice" as a rejection, what it really means is "you're nice, but I'm not attracted to you" but they're trying to soften the blow by turning it into what they view as a compliment.