I am finally in love and need advice

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Hey guys, i am just planning ahead right now. I've known her and had a crush on her since middle school, moved to another another county, and she seemed to come with me. I've gotten to know her pretty damn well, and i have actually realized I have really fallen in love with someone for the first time. An NT, she changed everything for me, i used to think all NT's were pompous as*holes, she was literally the kindest and most forgiving person I have gotten to meet, she gave me some of the final puzzle pieces I needed to create my "mask of normal" to finally fit in public. I can talk with like a NT, act like a NT, and I don't get made fun of- at all. I have a large base of friends and I am proud of myself. She has friends that are mine as well. I can literally not stop thinking about her. She has a boyfriend, but he is a total twit. I want to actually take her to our military ball (we both are in JROTC.)

Guys, i wanna know how I should ask her, i know i am already friends with her. I just actually, (believe me or not) just want to go with her as a friend.

Can you guys help me?

My first question is does she have feelings for you too? Does she know you have feelings for her?


I'd say you should find those out before doing anything.

Now for the ball thing, just ask her if she thinks it'd be okay if she'd go with you to the ball just as friends of course, and then add, "maybe talk it over with your boyfriend and see if that'd be all right."

That's how I'd go about it.

If they have a strong relationship, the guy probably won't mind. That's not to say that if he does mind, they don't have a strong relationship, just that he may have trust/insecurity/paranoia issues, or maybe he may not have an issue at all, he's just one of those people that doesn't feel comfortable with their girlfriend going with some guy to an event that's primarily for romantic dates. IDK.

I remember years ago, a girlfriend of mine at the time had asked me if it was okay that she go to the movies with her male friend. I was kind of shocked and said, "Of course it's fine that you go. I don't know why you felt the need to get my permission to go to the movies with a friend."
Of course I find out months later she was cheating on me with him. LOL.
In retrospect now, I realize that this was a telling sign of how SHE would react if I did the same thing to her. If I had gone to the movies with a female friend, she would have wanted me to ask. The reason why I made this conclusion is because one time I was eating lunch with a female friend of mine and my girlfriend and some of her friends walked into the same restaurant and saw us. I didn't think anything of it and went up and hugged and talked to my girlfriend and asked her if she and her friends wanted to join us. She said no and walked away all weird.

Also my female friend had asked me beforehand if my girlfriend wouldn't mind us going to eat lunch together.

Like wtf? People can't hang out with friends anymore because they're of the opposite sex?

Apparently everyone thought I was cheating on her so they had encouraged her to do the same to me. She wound up cheating on me with two other guys, and I never even so much as had feelings for any of the women I was hanging out with. They were truly just friends. Sigh. Sad world we live in these days.
There was another time that I was at a restaurant with another female friend of mine, and one of my girlfriends friends was there on a date and saw us then left and told my girlfriend.

The real issue was lack of communication. Nobody ever told me or asked me what was going on, particularly the person that should've been asking the most - my girlfriend. They just assumed what they wanted to and presented it as fact. Peh.

In all honesty, i don't know if she does, she will get close sometimes, but then seems to make a somewhat of a small gap.

I think this part of what he said here should help OP. You definitely need to be sure that the relationship with her and the BF is on good terms and with good communication and understading. I shudder to think what could happen if she decided to go to an event with you without even asking the BF if things were ok. You could get caught in the middle of a s**t storm if there is a communication problem between the two.

And of course, another part of a problem... People often look for reasons to leave partners and their friends will often play a role in this for a variety of reasons that relate to their own level of unhappiness. The friends, more often than not, are more likely to play the role in sabotaging a relationship because they found something to not like about their friend's partner.

She has a boyfriend. Twit or not that is her boyfriend, she is off limits, case closed.

Take someone else or go stag. Now if they were to break up I'd say go for it, but they must break up on their own, if you sabotage the relationship you will most likely lose your friend in the process. And you can let her know how you feel but you should know that may make things awkward. I'd say it's best to do nothing unless they break up.

This is were i am woefully confused, she has done it with friends before.

This.

Be friends, but maintain a distance. It doesn't matter what she's done with other friends, you have feelings for her so you need to be more careful. You could end up hurting three people if you mess things up.

How are you in love if you are still single?
You're still in high school.
Since she's taken, go talk to another girl.

Thanks guys, you've been awesome about this.

lol, your avatar is hilarious. Also I agree with your post

As said before, even if she wants to go out with you, it is expected that she ask permission to boyfriend. And he probably will only accept if:
a) He really trust her
b) He does not consider you as a threat (likely he thinks you're gay)
c) If in addition to you, others are friends together.

Moreover, the idea you wait they split to try to win it, may end up turning a f*****g friendzone.

So I also agree with FunkMasterMike.