So, how do I meet/talk to women without being too crazy?

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Yes, this is another one of those threads.

I'm going to SakuraCon again in April (that's Seattle's anime con, been going since 2006), and bleh12345 told me it's my best chance to meet a girl there. The girl I want is WAAAY to busy, and I want to talk to someone who is more like me.

What advice can be given here? Any and all advice is welcome, but no snide remarks, please. I have a feeling this is gonna be my year!

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Feel free to talk to me, if you wish.

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

First, you have to meet a girl you might like. Then ask her about her costume, or whatever it is about her that caught your eye. Whatever you think, just say it. You'd be surprised how responsive women are to complete honesty, even if its slightly off kilter. Mainly, the best advice is to have fun. Girls aren't going to be responsive to a guy who isn't having fun, especially at a once a year gathering of all the biggest nerds.

I don't know what you should talk about but pase is very important in a conversation you don't want to ask to much and you don't want to be the one nodding constantly.
Basically, what most people do when they freak and start blabbing is that they feel they must give up information to keep the interest of the other person, but what you are doing is verbally flooding them and there becomes less and less room for answers and reflections. In the end they'll get a question/interaction overload.

I think you should just set some structure for yourself when it comes to the interaction and remind yourself to give time for answers and questions. It's not a Q&A, but make sure you're both on the same topic or around it so that when anime is mentioned you don't rail off and start throwing all your favorite animes out there.

And remember to never panic if you don't get an answer that may lead to some other topic. You need to get comfortable in verbal abstraction, mumbles, sniffles, sneezes, certain laughs... farts.
I believe there are 3 things you can try:
- jerk off (this calms you down and takes away that aggressiveness and extra pressure you might feel when a situation is tricky, you get more relaxed and sleepy)
- play dumb (pretending to not know about stuff is a great way too still be in the convo but not having to beat your brain to death. Just imagine someone is telling you a story. Don't lie about it but if you see that the other person has lots to say about something, just listen. And then after a while if you have something to add, add it but don't hijack her/his convo.)
- Be slightly yourself and question stuff (No girl or boy finds a smothering kiss-ass attractive, unless it's a kinky thing... It's a very attractive quality in Aspies to be filled with information its just the way we present our thoughts that mess stuff up. If you say and present your thoughts in a kind and calm manner people will respect you, because taking a stand is sexy. Why do people like anime? All stories are about taking stands against stuff. And if you display that you have value togive then people will be more interested in you.)


Remember to be calm and cheerful, don't be to excited like a puppy because then you'll forget and start blabbing.
It's about trying out and adopting different ways that don't really alter your character but your behavior. You're still the same person you're just presenting yourself in another speed/light/manner/whatever.

Do things you like as well, don't be a tail. If you're hungry say it and that will spark more options maybe they want to take you somewhere to eat. And if you need to poo, don't squirm and wait for him/her to tell you their life story, just excuse yourself and say you need to go to the toilet. Don't say I need to poo or pee or wash my hands, just say I need to find the toilet/restroom and go.


You get weird because you think and feel you need to give much more of yourself to others, when truth is they will never notice the combined energy of your efforts, just the moments where you made them laugh or some other type of impact that made them feel good about both YOU and THEM.



Hmm, got pretty lengthy but I hope you got enough to paint you a picture of how to calm the f**k down and be a more structured self, with very little effort. As it should be. Until the situation calls for energy and jokes.

So, I'm guessing that there's going to be a cafe or a bar or two at this event.

Hang around and watch. Study the people and how they react to each other, if nothing else it's good practice and something to do until the woman of your dreams arrives (and I'm assuming that she's on her own here). Go to the counter and buy two cans of soda. Walk up to her, open one can, put it in front of her, then open your can and start to drink without saying a word. At this point one of two things will happen:

a) She smiles and says thanks, you're off and running.

b) She walks away, in which case you have a second can of soda to drink. Given that she didn't even say thank you for the soda was she even worth it?

Make careful note of where all the restrooms are, guys like us drink a lot of soda.

Eccles