Strip Club

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This weekend is Valentine's Day weekend and my boyfriend's birthday weekend. We had plans for me to take him out to the Ripley's Aquarium downtown and then go out for a nice dinner together. Now he's saying his friends are tagging along and we're staying at a hotel and we're going to a strip club. He's mentioned that he wants to do this on his birthday before but I thought it wasn't actually going to happen and now with the whole Valentine's Day thing I'm even more mad. I was so mad at him last night that I was almost ready to call it quits and then I said I was tired and I'd sleep on it. What do you think about this?

I dont think of strip clubs as a negative thing in general, but to visit in on Valentines day, when you should do something that pleases both, when you seem to dislike the idea... Sounds rather stupid. ^^

Cant you simply do your Valentines plan on Friday, and then he does his Birthday party plans on Saturday?

If you have sensory overwhelm issues, even a little bit, I don't recommend this.
They will probably be swamped on Valentine's Day.
Men are such visual creatures.

I wouldn't blame you at all for breaking it off, it seems like you could do better than someone who would do this. But if you do so, be ready for the possibility that he'll try to crawl back to you, begging for forgiveness.

Okay thanks for the input guys. He agreed that Friday and Saturday were our days and Sunday he's going to the strip club with his friends which I'm not too thrilled about but I probably wont over-react. Maybe I'll take pole dancing classes and go to a Chip N Dales for my birthday and see what he thinks about that.

I think it's not unreasonable to voice if you'd rather your boyfriend not go to a strip club. I'd never go to some place to 'oogle' other women when in a relationship with one (although frankly I wouldn't go to a strip club at all, but for the sake of the topic); it seems really inconsiderate.

I think it's probably difficult for a boy who's birthday is so close to Valentines day. Our society dictates that V-day caters to women, yet that on your birthday you should get to control what you do.

I would suggest doing a Valentines day event as a couple on Friday, and then going to the club on Saturday.

I do think you have a valid reason to be mad if he's trying to bring his friends along on your Valentines day plans.

I am no guy, and have fun with the Chip´n´Dales, they have a nice show. As said, my partner and I fine with that stuff, as long as its for fun, no body contact, and not on Valentines day. ^^

I think you cant generalize them for whole. So around here (european country) people are not so prude about the topic, but there are very different types of "stripclub". So I sure did not want my boyfriend to visit a slimy low class etablissiment, which are normally nothing more then disguised bordells, with some gal doing nothing but facetwerking or polerubbing to get customers for her more expensive services. ^^ But we have as well better etablissements, that really show experienced dancers, have complete shows, or actresses that do stand up comedy shows, or Burlesque shows..., or have dinner shows, so you get high class meals, while watching the programm. So its more comparable to those typical Vegas-glitter shows or classic Moulin Rouge shows. Its simply show, and not about engaging with the dancers or whatever. so just as in theaters, there is anyway an distance between the audience and the dancers. As well that just like in theaters, it would be pretty dumb to disturb the choreographed show, to flirt with one of the dancers ^^ or give them some money or whatever. So its simply a real show with real dancers and erotic elements, but not a disguise for prostitution.

So if it was about a bordell-"strip club", I´d not agree with my partner going there, but I have no prob with him visiting a typical night-"strip"-club. I think the Chip´n´Dales you mentioned, are a good example, so if you go there, your partner will know that you and your friends will have a good time, maybe go a bit "wild" or whatever, but in the end its only about visiting an professional erotic show, and not about visiting a club that will try to push you to engage with some male prostitutes. ^^

This.

why are you even mad? Do you disapprove of strip clubs in general? Not everyone does. I know many couples that go to them together. I've personally only ever been to strip clubs a few times for friends bachelor parties because they're not really my thing, however, the ones I have been to were top rated places for the most part and I was impressed with both how classy they were as well as how impressive the dancers were in terms of talent/skill/athleticism and professionalism. Sure, trashy places exist, too.. but even then, they're run as strip clubs, not brothels. So what if he and his friends go to a strip club for his birthday?

Your Friday/Saturday and Sunday plan sounds good to me, LostGirl. Healthy relationships are all about compromise.

Awww. Just let him blow money on some naked, manipulitive, lying, tease. Fantasy land will be over quick.

It's his birthday.. let his friends blow their money.

Out of experiences: Dont let them take any cards with them. XD My partners friends did so, for the pre-wedding party of my partner. As girls we were laughing our asses off, when they realized the enormous bills, they paid. XD Little tip: Bottle of bubblewine: 250 EUR XD It reminded us of that film in LasVegas, when a group of boys awakens after celebrating the evening before, and then try to find out, what happened the evening before. "Oh my god, I have a bill in worth of 350 EUR in my pocket! *grab the phone* Does anyone know, where that comes from?" - "Oh my god, I just found another bill..." XD

So I dont know if your partner has already made experiences with night clubs, but in case he hasn´t. YOU DONT GO THERE FOR DRINKING!! ! Have a nice beer or a glass of wine, and go afterwards somewhere else, but visiting nightclubs for drinking is something you can do when you own some oil-fields or whatever. ^^ If you have a card with you, for emergencies or taxi or whatever, always let the one be almost sober. ^^

I don't understand him.

"Men are such visual creatures."

That's because most ladies look sooooo good

Anyway, if I faced a choice between a night with my girlfriend and a visit to a strip club my girlfriend would win every time. I've only ever been to one strip club and as a typical Aspie I didn't know where to look

About a year ago, I went to a strip club with 3 of my friends, one of them a girl who I kinda liked (I had a crush on her in school a couple years ago) The sensory overload is pretty bad, but I was more concerned with the issue of taste - it was more disgusting than arousing.

Stop your boyfriend from degenerating.