Mixing online and real life

Post Reply New Topic

I'd appreciate it if someone could help me work through this: I have an OKCupid account and I noticed a few days ago that someone from my class showed up on it (I'm in medical school, we have 200 people in the class so almost everyone knows each other by at least a face/name association). For anyone unfamiliar with OKCupid, it has a matching system that gives compatibility percentages based on a series of questions. Her rating is a 99% which is the highest possible. The day after I noticed her profile, it disappeared. I assume it's because she recognized me and blocked me. A few days later, she comes up to me outside of classroom to ask a class-related question, which she's never done previously. We know each other by name and we say hello, but that's been about it up to now. I did manage to keep myself from sounding foolish for a minute long conversation. I admit to having trouble gauging what other people are thinking, so I'm not sure if she really just wanted her question answered, wanted to talk to me or a combination of both. Does anyone have some advice for managing this situation without doing/saying something stupid?

Do you remember what her username was? It's possible she just deleted her account.

Do you like her? Go for broke: Ask her out.

I guess it's possible she disabled/deleted her account. It's just how close in time it is to me noticing she was on there that makes me think otherwise.

I'm probably over thinking things as usual. Though I probably wouldn't have thought to ask her out if I hadn't seen her match % on OKCupid, although I know I shouldn't be relying only on that. And I also wonder if she would guess that, because if she did block me it was probably because she didn't want anyone in the class to know she was on there, which is fair. And me asking her out would make it fairly obvious.

If you're not attracted to her I'd say you probably shouldn't ask her out.
(But I'm also curious if Okcupid's matching system really works so I kinda want you to ask her out to see if you guys actually get along.)

Or you can just start talking to her more often without actually asking out for a date. Maybe you could be good friends. She's not avoiding you so that's a good sign.

Chat with her. Light conversation about school or whatever. You don't want to come on too strong if she recognized your name and blocked as that would mean she's uncomfortable. But talking to you soon after disappearing suggests maybe she's curious, too. If she did recognize you. Just talk about things you have in common. Or ask her about herself. Be interested.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. I didn't mean that I'm not attracted to her. I just wouldn't have found it in me to do anything.

I think OKCupid's matching system good enough to serve a purpose. Some of it's quality depends on how many questions each person answered. However, being that they are all multiple choice, very often you can't really pick an answer that represents you. Plus it doesn't really give any weight to your interests. It would be mostly up to you to find out. I'm not sure what this says about its effectiveness, but I also once saw my only ex-girlfriend on there at 96%. To avoid going into too much detail, I'll just say this is more encouraging than discouraging to me.