Romance philosophy

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What I want to talk about in this thread is romance philosophy. How lovely! Overly masculine souls are free to clear away now.

Let's talk about love. Single most underestimated idea on the planet. I'm not talking about that BS people call love, where they don't know each other but are obsessed with each other anyway--that's an awful and blinding little thing called limerence, when it's romantic, or lust when it's purely sexual. (Anyone who suffers from either of them deserves pity, at least when it's not mutual.) First sight has nothing to do with it. I'm talkin' the genuine, without the wine, how it is rather than how it is to the drunk. I'm talking love at its most dangerous, most diabolically delicious, where at any given moment there is a risk of losing yourself in another, because for once even the most selfish soul can step outside of himself for the sake of another human being. It's the whisper in the rain, the reluctant embrace between drops and pavement. It is contrast at its most effective; finding yourself in contrast to someone else. You are nothing without this person because this person defines who you are by being different from you. That is why no two lovers can ever be completely similar, no matter how arrogant either of them are. (However, they must have SOME similarities--can't be in love with someone you can't relate to.) Most of all, it is a friendship beyond friendship, but something deeper than even that. It takes all the hallmarks of good friends: comfort, trust, understanding, mutual respect, similarities, sharing experiences together, and what not. Like a true friend, you cannot form true love without having been sharing experiences with this person for a long time, on average at least a year--though usually more than that.

It's interesting how two of the most wonderful things in the world--truth and love--are also two of the most painful, especially when combined together. Sticks and stones will break some bones but words will cut you up into a thousand pieces. You see, the truth is, true love is tragic. A beautiful tragedy, but a tragedy nonetheless. Again: contrast. Each moment of romantic happiness is defined as happy when compared to the arguments and drama and pain that lovers ALWAYS bring upon one another eventually, or to the moments one has faced in the past with other souls. One has to wonder, then, if arguments between lovers are necessary for happiness between them? I don't think so. While confronting one another about issues can strengthen a relationship, the necessity of bitterness in one's life can be satisfied by other things. Ideally, you spend time with your lover to escape from all the frustrations that the rest of your life contains--the relationship becomes a beacon of hope and happiness in a world of chaos and anguish. The problem is that anguish always tries to overpower any happiness, and this can cause the stupidest of arguments later on--oftentimes with loved ones--because of projection and other such defense mechanisms.


But all that's just my opinion. What are your theories or philosophies regarding romance and what not?

Beautiful words. I wish I were not so tired as I would comment more, but love is something I do not believe is definable as it is going to be something different to each person. Someone once asked me to define it, and for the life of me, I could not, but I could say what I thought life should be like when you are with someone you love.

I have to say, I do believe that someone can feel intense love for a person they do not know well, or even at all, but to say my reasoning would be to open myself to ridicule as it extends into the realm of spirituality and universal energy...and that is what come would call airy fairy nonsense. I do know this though. We are all composed of energy. Energy can move... it can relocate itself, it is not static and confined to one place. Energy can attract energy...it has, supposedly been proven scientifically that we do all have an energy field around us. This has even been photographed using Kirlian photography. If energy can move and if energy can attract and if our energy is indeed extending out some distance from our bodies, then who is to say that we might not sense anothers energies and be either repelled by it or attracted to it? IT is well known that we sometimes form an instant dislike for someone...we do not know why, yet there it is. We meet someone, and simply decide there is something about them we do not like. The same thing can go for attraction. So, I do believe one can develop intense feelings for someone we do not know, whether one places the reasoning on energy fields or on soul connections etc etc.

I believe that love can only exist in its truest form with friendship though. I think maybe this is where so many marriages go wrong... there is not that element of friendship there to begin with, and the communication. How many couples are totally honest and open about their thoughts and feelings when in a relationship, whether in oral word or written word? I believe that love is a sharing of all of yourself, and that this has to work both ways and be willing on both parts otherwise things become totally unbalanced. I believe romance is not in paying out for chocolates, dinners and flowers but in listening to the other. I believe an ideal love can only occur when it is worked at. It isn't just something one stumbles into, whether you are 'made for each other' or not.

I would say more but I am half asleep here