I would partially like a girlfriend, yet I dont want one.

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Someone to enjoy the usual flesh orientated activites and having a chat about something that's on my mind, but I dont want to have to always talk to someone on the phone, or call her and ask her how her day has been etc.

I also want someone to take up the other half of my bed, but I dont want to be disturbed during sleep. Oh the dilemma!

Thankfully it's easily solved as I'm too lazy and scared to go searching for a girlfriend, yet I will always have these wants in my mind.

I know EXACTLY how you feel..

~Aspiegirl89~

ear plugs = problem solved

Alex. please. Let me answer this.

Coper. sounds like your still unsure of yourself. don't worry. it not all that bad.

I already wear ear plugs.
Add in the movement and basic thought that there is someone else in my bed and I would never get to sleep.

I agree, I just wonder when (if ever) I will become confident of my wants and grab them.

im a pretty picky sleeper, so i could never get any sleep knowing someone else was in the bed.

I sleep like a dead man. I'm impossible to wake when I get to sleep.

I'm feeling very much like this. In fact, I started a thread about it in the Love and Dating forum, titled "Second Thoughts about a New Girlfriend". But for your situation, the course of action would be to accept the fact that you gotta take the "bad" with the good. Basically, the relationship is a package deal. Obviously, you're going enjoy being intimate with her and casual conversations, but you'll also have to call her regularly to ask her how her day was. The important thing is how willing you are to do the "bad" in order to get the good. I think it's worth it. A phone call takes 10 to 15 minutes, and not much effort either. In return, you'll have a girlfriend who loves you, and more importantly, respects you. Basically, you have to put something in in order to get something out. The question is how willing you are to do it.

If I got married, it would have to have a room for me and a room for him.

I wouldnt mind a boyfriend in name only. but i can't stand physical closeness.

My sex drive seems disconnected from my love drive.

Mainly I hate having strings attached. I want sex without commitment and love without commitment. My mood operates in such a way I don't think I could stick around with one person everyday.

Exactly. Everything comes with a cost. Sure, there may be nights when the other person disturbs you while you are sleeping. Guess what, there may also be nights where you're the one doing the disrupting. If you want to be able to talk to them about stuff, then you gotta accept that at times they're going to want the same, possibly at times that aren't even all that convenient for you.

I would like a girlfriend, except that I'm so shy that I can't even say hi to people I know, I'm even worse around people that I actually want to like me.
I just don't feel comfortable around people, if I was dating someone I'd just be too scared to open my mouth, so I don't even bother to try. It would be futile.
Plus, my standards are too high, I'm so ridiculously picky.

So basically, I want, but I know I can't have. Frustrating.

Easy answer for me, not willing at all.

It's like wishing for a billion dollars, but there's no way I'm walking out the door tomorrow to work my arse off for it, but it's nice to dream.

I feel the same way as a lot of you. I essentially want a female friend to have sex with every so often. I don't mind doing the little things for her like asking how her day was, etc. but I need a lot of alone time and I'm incredibly busy with class and work. Most of the time a date would have to be her watching me work on a design. I am a loner, very emotionally distant, and if you looked up boring pedant in the dictionary you would see my picture. I also have very high standards the biggest one being that she can't be boring. So while I would like to be in a relationship, my interests and quirks would be a heavy burden for someone who loved me and I can't in good conscience ask anyone to shoulder it. On the other hand one night stands / prostitutes don't appeal to me. So in the words of Woody Allen: "Sex is like bridge, if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."

Haha! I cannot be roused from sleep. I would worry about her. I've been told that I sometimes narrate my dreams. And from the reports I've received, there must be some disturbing stuff in my head.


I've found that lazy is what happens when
((perceived utility) - (perceived cost)) x (perceived odds of success)
is less than zero, or is only marginally greater than zero.

Scared I can relate to completely. Women are fickle, and it seems to me that if they don't receive a certain critical level of drama, they get bored and leave. I would ignore them completely, deeming them to not be worth my time. But biology doesn't always allow us that option.

Eh... what are you gonna do.... Life's a b**ch. Just gotta spit in it's face and continue living despite the problems. It could be worse. You could have terminal brain cancer.