In a little bit of a pickle

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So, I've been using OKC for dating and such and I've had some success. Two dates so far and one girl who I exchanged numbers with. Anyhow a few months ago I struck up a texting relationship with one girl. Even became friends on FB. But she stopped texting me so I figure no interest anymore which is okay. I recently revised my profile since I've lost a lot of weight since first starting my OKC account last winter and I wanted a fresh go at it. I went on an actual date with another girl two weeks back. She wasn't available this weekend to do anything but we've stayed in touch and I thought we hit off well enough. Was planning on asking her to dinner this coming weekend if she wasn't busy. Well I had my dinner and I got a text from the first girl asking what was up and we started chatting. Eventually she asked me if I was still single which I still am as me and Girl B have only been out once and we have no defintie plans for the coming weekend. Eventually Girl A asks me if she'd like to go on a date and I would. Guess what I am saying is what to do or say if the one girl who I've already gone with asks me if I'd like to do anything this coming weekend. Feel like I'm in a little bit of a pickle here. So any advice?

The 1st girl is using you as an insurance policy. She probably met another guy she liked more, but when it didn't work out, she figured go back to you.

My advice, ask the 2nd girl out on the weekend and have fun with her.

Well thing is I already told her that Saturday could possibly work for me since I may do something else that day. I hate to go out with the second one and lie and said I did something else. I suspect you are right though. Nearly two months of non-comm and all a sudden I get texted out of the blue. I don't have much dating experience for the record so I figured I'd at least go out with the first one just to gain more experience.

So?

I don't have a ton of dating experience either but if it smells like s**t, it's prob s**t.

You don't owe her that. Just tell her something came up. She basically blew you off for 2 months after two dates. Honestly is a commendable virtue, but how do you know she's not just using you again until she finds someone better?

There are two sayings that are very appropriate:

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. (If she blows you off for 2 months, shame on her, if you accept her back and it happens again, shame on you for allowing it)

And the most important one:

If you have a choice between two girls, choose the 2nd girl, because something about the first made you look for the 2nd.

1 date does not make a relationship so you are free to see who you want. If girl b calls you up don't blue, just say you've made other plans and see if she's free another time.

I meant don't lie. OMG, how did my spell check think 'lie' was 'blue'?

I'd say go out with both. You're single and you owe both of them nothing. Just go out, have a good time, meet new people, have good experiences. It's nothing serious, you're just meeting people, you have to have an open mind.

If for whatever underlying reason you have to pick, pick the one who didn't blow you off. You started texting a lot then it stopped, there are very good reasons for it and the likely scenario is it wasn't your fault.

I don't like the sound of the one who stopped talking for ages.. dude.. you haven't even met her. I would prioritise the ones who you've met and liked.

Go out with both, but don't forget that.

lol a typical new guy to okcupid, too innocent....

LeftWeems, each one of them is probably 5 other guys simultaneously, so don't ever feel guilty for dating two simultaneously, none of them is your gf yet - remember, girls receive tons of messages and offers on okcupid, and the gender ratio is in their favor.

I'm aware of how OKC works and I actually did meet the second one. And first one has a FB account. I'm aware of catfishing as the next guy is but both these girls are genuine.

Okay, I think I'm going to go out with both. I value the experiences more than anything at this point. I do agree with those who have said that it should send red flags that she texted after two months of not doing anything.

I'd go with girl 2. Girl 1 sounds like she got in touch again because she saw you lost weight. A bit shallow of her.

I don't know. See, I set up my first profile when I was more heavy back in December of 2012. Most of my pics on there were pre-weight loss. At about May last year, I started my weight loss stuff.And as I've said, her and I have texted including photos so she's seen that I'm skinnier. I do agree with the general consensus that something motivated her to text me out of the blue like this. I'll probably go out with her and just leave it at that. Second girl, I felt a good connection with plus we're much closer in age and both out of college too. Girl A is still in school.

Girl 2 is the one for you, come on out!
Good luck with both dates. I can't get a date

I've had a previous date who suddenly wanted my attention the second I started dating my current girlfriend. She also knew about her because we were friends at that point. I haven't spoken to her since.

If I was in your position, girl 1is going to have to prove to me that she is genuine. She will likely have to work for a second chance and too many girls are unwilling to do that if I was too nice the first time.