What do females look for?

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What do you females out there look for?

That's the world's most broad question.

Try narrowing it down, and ye shalt receive answers!

Generally speaking a woman is looking for a man that can fulfil her needs - and someone she can fulfil the needs of. Someone that makes her feel good.

A mistake a lot of people on this site make is they assume there's a recipe for a perfect man, desirable to all women. Fact is there is no such recipe because every woman wants something different.

Here's two better questions:

What are you, the poster, looking for in a woman?

What do you think are the best things about your personality you have to offer a woman?

If we start there, I might be able to provide some advice.

Well, I like someone who is affectionate, and can accept me for who I am.

Affection is DEFINITELY a plus My man seems to have a bit of trouble with that...lack of affection can make the average girl feel unwanted, ugly and rejected

That really sucks.

I like people that I like.

hahaha

Someone who can see beneath the surface of me and strive to bring out the best in me and to accept me for all I am, including flaws.

It does indeed It's something guys here can keep in mind...a lot of girls love to be snuggled and coddled Note that she will probably love her hand being held, being hugged, smooched, etc...but will probably understand if the guy in question isn't so big on touch himself (eg: hypersensitivity)

Some girls, like me, are big video gamers.

Ditto, formerly Was a big gamer when I was your age!

(Now if you start talking about the boxer engine and symmetrical all-wheel-drive of a Subaru Impreza, and custom uneven-length extractors, I am gonna be VERY turned on )

Sincerity, true affection, independance, interesting personality and hobbies, ability to smile and laugh & hard working plus most important ...good hygiene.

I think its curious that its a recurring theme that women want to know what they can get out of a relationship first. (Men know what they want - sex )

Still I think at a subconscious level anyway, women want security for themselves and children (prehistoric instinct of protection). This means caring, independence, hard working, good provider etc. Its not all that long ago in European cultures that marriage contract was a "contract" negotiated and bargained over.

*** Bazza ducks to avoid Ticker's left hook ***

This doesn't mean that love doesn't enter the equation, just that many, not all people are not generally initially attracted to people outside their own culture/class/expectations IMHO.

Hey buddy! Naw I wouldn't take a swing at ya. Besides my arm's short and you're too far away!

I agree with you. I think for what both men and women REALLY want it goes back to primal instinct. I think 99% of our behaviors as humans is driven by hormone.

There has to be something that we look for in a mate that separates the keepers from the ones you throw back in the lake.

Didn't you like my hygiene requirement? There's something to be said for soap and water & toothbrush and toothpaste. Can't believe no one else mentioned that. That's the first thing that turns me off when I have dated someone who doesn't bathe daily. I just don't believe the Love at First Sight notion. Maybe Love at first Smell though.

Subconciously maybe some or even most, but I know for me it was like this:


I viewed all men as they wanted to hold me down and procreate. Any hint of that caused immediate rejection on my part, since I had no interest in that. Basically, that became an issue for all of them but one. I have to always feel that I can walk away or take care of myself so while I want someone equal to me financially (because I won't take care of anyone, that way or any other), I would never care what they made beyond that because it would have to be in a separate account anyway. So, for instance, if I wanted to suddenly go to New Zealand, I would expect that he could afford to do that as well. That doesn't have to do with much besides the fact that I'm not going to take care of someone else because I'm not nurturing at all.

So, having said that and acknowledging that I am not normal about anything, I have a definite physical type that I am attracted to and that's it. I mean that is it. On top of that, they have to be that type and have a certain personality type. I like intellectual, analytical, somewhat arrogant, OCD types. That's because if they can't talk about or enjoy the things I like, it's over. I don't want someone pretending they like what I like. Now, they could talk about some academic subject I was never interested in before and I'll gain a short term obsession for myself and love it, but I'm not going to be watching sports in this lifetime or things like Jerry Springer or any of that so-called normal crap. (My view of crap anyway) I'm not going to be around anyone else who does that either.


As to the OCD, that's because I want to stay in my world of writing and other interests, but I like order. I was never much to take care of myself. I never cared whether I ate, I never learned the fine art of laundry or cleaning or any of that. The most I probably would have done is hire a maid to do it. On the other hand, I probably would have starved because I can't stand to touch food to prepare it, I hate going out and trying to decide what to eat at restaurants and I always forget food anyway. OCD people of either sex love me because they feel they can rule my environment and I appreciate it (no one appreciates OCD behavior except someone off the deep end like I am). So, an OCD guy with me gets to have all his rules and routines his own way, but he also has to do it all because I won't even notice that stuff, much less do it. In other words, they get to impose order on chaos. Order always wants to impose itself onto chaos.


So, that's the basics of it. Emotionally, forget it. My empathy and feeler scores are 0. If they are looking for any emotional reassurances, they are out of luck. If they want someone to notice if they are starving, forget it. It would never happen. I would never notice what clothes they wore, much less if they needed new clothes. I only know which way my clothes are supposed to hang in the closet because my OCD husband told me that's how they are supposed to be in there and it wigs him out if they aren't that way. But, if he's sick, I never have a clue. I might say something like, Did you stay home today? Oh. Then, I would walk away. It probably would be best not to expect me to ask you how you were feeling now. It would be an exercise in futility.

I don't see sex as having anything to do with anything emotional. I like it only if I'm attracted, but it's completely separate from the emotional for me, so you can't expect any of that because you aren't going to get it. For me, it is an intellectual and artistic thing and that's exactly how I treat it.


Anyway, as I said, I'm not the norm, but neither is the type I like, so it's fine. I dated enough of them and married my husband. We suit and that's all I care about. He's so limited in what he likes that I'm sure that's all he cares about as well. Neither one of us thinks anyone else could stand to live with us.

i know i look for a man who is secure in himself and his ability- by secure i DON'T necessarily mean confident i just mean knows what he wants in life and works hard with what he has to build a great future for himself. I like men, usually, who are shy, quiet, and mysterious (the great clashing factor with my loud ass self but i can be quiet very often as well, at the right times)....

I like a man that lets me be submissive some of the time and doesn't require that i wear the pants in the relationship and make all the decisions...i enjoy letting him "lord" over me every now and again and, when necessary, can play submissive and let me over take him. I don't want a man who thinks he has to give me his money, pay my bills, or help me out in anyway like that. I'm no golddigger. I do however think its respectable when a man sees you're in need at times and does for you knowing you'll do whatever you can when he's in need.

I also enjoy when the men i like can and loves to have fun, make jokes, play around, and be silly when the time is right. I play around a lot and he would need to know that i'm joking and that if i didn't love him i wouldn't let him see that side of me.

NOTE (in response to bazza): I'm more than intially attracted to people outside of my race... i think its something i subconsciously crave so many of the men (if not all) that i fall for are my exact opposite of my culture.. as for class and expectations i'm more than lenient with that since thats usually not what i'm thinking about from the start!