Can love ever happen naturally for a guy with AS?

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There's so many things to get wrong:
1. What you say
2. The way you say it
3. Timing
4. Judging if she's interested

It's so much easier to make a mistake with one or all of these things than it is to get them all right.

Find a girl that isn't so damn picky.

If you want more than just to have sexual intercourse with a trophy-- which, no offense, was what most guys wanted when I was in my 20s-- then find a girl who isn't so damn picky.

Try an awkward girl-- you might find each others' awkwardness endearing. CAVEAT: DO NOT try to "guess" when she wants you to kiss her, or touch her in more than a casual, friendly manner, or push the sex thing. If you are not getting CLEAR signals, don't try. If you think you're getting mixed signals, talk to her about it-- and if you don't know her well enough to do that yet, you don't need to be getting physical with her yet.

Don't try to hide, dude-- we look even stupider when we try to hide. You don't have to use the A-Word, but just TELL her. "I have a hard time with what to say." "I'm not quite sure how to read people." "I guess I'm kind of a klutz."

There are girls-- Aspie girls, shy girls, goth girls, punk girls, Christian girls, girls with struggles of their own, fat girls, girls who used to lisp and stutter (or still do), dyslexic girls, all kinds of girls-- who find a little bit of awkwardness endearing and are willing to accept that guys have flaws too.

If you're making the mistake of holding out from "prime real estate" and seeing all those less-than-perfect girls as seconds or worse...

...well, nobody's perfect. The ones with the perfect hair and the perfect makeup and the perfect clothes and the perfect company manners that are "prime real estate" in your late teens and twenties sometimes (often, in my experience) turn out to be SUPER-DE-DUPER messed up under the surface.

^ Aspie girls, goth girls, Christian girls, punk girls, fat girls, shy girls, girls with struggles are not less likely to be less damn picky. For instance goth girls would often date only goth guys.

Have you ever read some of the girls' standards here? Some are abnormally picky. In fact, I have seen the worst cases of pickiness in life here on WP.

Pickiness has nothing to do with the type of girl.

I'm just saying, look at other kinds of girl other than "prime real estate," that stereotypically desirable girl who looks like she was clipped out of a magazine. Because yeah, based on the (admittedly few) girls I know, they are more likely to consider dating a guy who is not "stereotypically desirable."

Look under ALLLLLL the rocks. Don't settle for someone you don't feel comfortable with, or someone who treats you like dirt...

...but don't even think about holding out for the general standard of The Best.

The best place to look, if you are outside the inner circle of "normal," is outside the inner circle of "normal." They're more likely to at least give it some thought.

One other thought: LOVE DOES NOT HAPPEN NATURALLY. Attraction can happen naturally. Sex, if you don't use self-control to stop it, can happen naturally. Love takes thinking, and self-control, and perspective-taking, and a whole lot of other WORK. The idea that love should happen naturally is why the divorce rate in this country is so damn high.

Love between two people is a bond that builds and grows. A lot of respect and trust goes into this. It takes a lot of work to build up Love, but it really only takes a minute to destroy that bond.

The holding out for the perfect person usually brings out a lot of grief in people. I've met people who would rather complain than count their blessings. These same people wonder why noone wants to be around them.

And I will agree that attraction comes naturally and is more likely easier to manipulate than feelings of love. Everyone likes what they see on the outside and sometimes forget that there is something else on the inside (who we think the other is vs who they really are). What is also forgotten about is who the other person will become as there is often evidence to suggest the path another person is taking.

Its not about the ability to love, its the ability to make the connection via social interaction that F's the process up.

Its all about how she perceives you in the initial interaction. The first impression. NT's have a pre-set expectation of what the minimum requirements a person must meet in social interactivity and that decides if they're even interested in being around you or not. Thing is, those with AS sort-of meet that minimum requirement but its so.. different and odd that its preferable to dump them into the 'no-go' category than to stick around and know the person a bit more.

Its almost like two people from very different cultures who know nothing about each other suddenly meeting and having to interact...and worse, try to flirt with each other. Each one has different pre-set expectations of what is socially expected of the other.

I'd love to meet a girl who's 'weird' in the same way as me. I wonder if I would actually like her if I did, presumably so, but I don't know where to find her.

It's not about being picky. #4 is the brick wall. You may meet someone, hang out, and not ever realize they are interested in you.