don't EVER let go of an ASPIE like you…EVER

Post Reply New Topic

I wish I had known more about how different I was 25+ years ago. I thought I was "normal" and thus could find love anywhere. The fact is that every ahole I have ever dated or married that was NOT an ASPIE took advantage of me and we have NEVER had the connection that I had with that one guy, whom 25+ years later I discover no doubt is an ASPIE.

So, please, forget what others might say…I didn't marry him because I was just going through a divorce and thought it was NOT appropriate to get into a relationship with someone (although I had known him for at least 10yrs before and we had dated before)…it was no doubt the biggest mistake of my life. When you feel that connection, I promise you that it will be an ASPIE wether diagnosed or not…Don't worry about what others might think, don't let them go.

I am now STUCK in a marriage with a non-ASPIE and no matter what he does at this point, I will never feel the connection I had with the ASPIE from my past. I only dream of the day that I am on my death bed and I can finally not give a rat's behind and ask the one ASPIE who understood me 100% to be by my side. I can leave, but will not…yes, ridiculous…I have a 12yr old son and cannot imagine him not growing up with me 100% of the time…because honestly, I think non-ASPIES suck! So I would rather stay miserable and pretend all is ok so that I can ensure that my son has someone who truly understands him 100% of the time.

I can see that no assumptions are made in this post.

ah, smudge, what do you mean? lol

You made a broad generalisation that NTs "suck" and aspies are always worth keeping as partners.

ah, yes, well, here is the thing…maybe my assumption is incorrect in that all NTs suck…I don't think they ALL suck, but I do think they SUCK as far as being with an ASPIE…they will always expect us to act like them and we will always expect them to understand us…Marriage/relationships are about understanding each other and about really "getting each other"…and honestly, I think that only an ASPIE can "get us"…nobody else can. So NTs might be great for another NT, but not for an ASPIE. That is just my view. By the way, my husband is an NT…he is great in many ways, but in those ways which are the most important, he just doesn't get me. I do get him. I know how they are, but over and over again, most NTs feel they are superior and we should act/be like them as they feel they are "correct" and there is something wrong with "US". In that sense, I say, it is not worth it at all and just be with someone who doesn't think there is something wrong with you…i.e. only an ASPIE.

That is just your experience. I understand from your other thread that your NT husband is cheating, and you must be feeling bloody pissed off from the way he's treating you.

Maybe you've had lots of bad experiences with NTs, but...the majority of aspies I've met are quite intolerant and unforgiving, and are often looking for friends because they are either rejected or they purposely push people away. There is also a phenomenon where both people ignore each others' bad traits and focus on the good ones, just because they have something in common. It happens often in romantic relationships, and in my experience - with other aspies. Then the aspie spots something bad in the other person and then their view of that person as being a great, genuine, lovely person is suddenly tainted, and switched to the bad guy. i.e. black and white thinking in effect.

I had a bad experience with an aspie in a relationship so aspies aren't guaranteed the relationship will be good. It depends on their personality and how they are affected by it. My first ex may have been aspie or half and the relationship wasn't good either.

Aspies can suck too (I hate the word Aspie).

Only have to look at some recent selfish threads here in the Love and Dating section made by 1 or 2 on the spectrum. Not naming and shaming, that's not what I do.

Anyways, it's not fair to generalise that all people on the low end of the spectrum can be great lovers, whilst NT's can't. Some NT'S are great people, and as said above, some people on the spectrum can be dicks.

Everyone has their own personality.

All the aspies like people I've dated have been f*****g awful.

You can't judge how datable people are by whether they're aspie or NT. This thread is begging to be jumped all over, it's such a stupid generalisation.