Need advice on talking to a girl

Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

nateman
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 45

24 Mar 2014, 6:54 pm

I'm in a partial hospitalization program and met this girl I really like. Part of me wants to come out and say it to her. That route hasn't gone very well in the past but I wonder if it's me or them. I haven't asked her out on a date or anything like that. Should I start with something like that? We talk a lot and have similar interests so I think conversation wouldn't be a problem. Is she likely to accept and relate? Any advice would be greatly appreciated (even about things I didn't specifically list) as I'm somewhat of an idiot when I like someone.



aspiemike
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,287
Location: Canada

24 Mar 2014, 10:12 pm

Believe in yourself and remember that you never know until you go for it. You may be surprised with the outcome. So stop fixating on the outcome.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


sacrip
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Oct 2008
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 844

25 Mar 2014, 2:03 am

Ask her to have coffee with you sometime. It's not quite a date but it's still more than just talking as you work. If that goes well, then you can ask her to lunch.


_________________
Everything would be better if you were in charge.


hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

25 Mar 2014, 3:28 am

Just ask her, even a no beats beating yourself up about not doing it.



AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

25 Mar 2014, 5:24 am

I usually just dont bother and let the girl do the approaching and talking!Sadly I still dont catch on to their social cues half the time and act indifferent to them and be on my way.


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


Wind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2014
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 526
Location: UK

25 Mar 2014, 10:29 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
I usually just dont bother and let the girl do the approaching and talking.


That's where you're going wrong then.

OP, ask her when you can catch her "hey, would you like to go for a coffee some time?"
You don't have to order a coffee. You can order yourself a hot chocolate, a tea, fruit tea, or even some water. I discovered this recently when people would ask me to go to coffee with them, and I assumed they meant for actual coffee :oops: Silly me!

Think of a nice coffee place you can meet up, somewhere that has a nice little outside garden or in a nice area, don't go to somewhere that's too busy and urban. Pick a coffee shop that isn't a brand shop if you can think of one. Try to avoid ones like Starbucks and Costa :)


_________________
Your Aspie score: 187 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 25 of 200
AQ: 43
Empathy Quotient: 8
I have ASD, ADHD, Hypermobility Syndrome.


nateman
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 45

25 Mar 2014, 10:40 am

I love the advice and encouragement! Thanks so much. I'm always open to more though :P I'll try it today if i can get the courage up.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

25 Mar 2014, 5:26 pm

Wind wrote:
AspieOtaku wrote:
I usually just dont bother and let the girl do the approaching and talking.


That's where you're going wrong then.

OP, ask her when you can catch her "hey, would you like to go for a coffee some time?"
You don't have to order a coffee. You can order yourself a hot chocolate, a tea, fruit tea, or even some water. I discovered this recently when people would ask me to go to coffee with them, and I assumed they meant for actual coffee :oops: Silly me!

Think of a nice coffee place you can meet up, somewhere that has a nice little outside garden or in a nice area, don't go to somewhere that's too busy and urban. Pick a coffee shop that isn't a brand shop if you can think of one. Try to avoid ones like Starbucks and Costa :)


i don't like coffee either, always figured having coffee with a girl and not ordering coffee would just be another thing wrong.
we mostly only have starbucks and dutch brothers here, those two franchises have pretty much put all others out of business.