Men and Women - does not compute?

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The fact is that there are about as many men as there are women in this world. In fact, there is slightly more women than there are men alive today.

So the question is... why does every chatroom, dating website, social club, etc seem to have SIGNIFICANTLY more single men looking than single women looking? This is highly illogical and it does not compute in my mind. This goes against the basic rule of supply & demand.

Why do websites, groups, and societies all dictate that men must work harder and have a harder time finding a mate than women do? Why must men pay on dating websites, bars, clubs, etc.. when women don't? It seems like a one-way stream, when in reality it is a two-way stream.

What variable am I missing here? infidelity? Polygamy? I know some say men have stronger biological drives than women, but regardless both sexes want and need a relationship in general and with equal numbers of both sexes, it should be an even playing field.

Does anyone understand this? What am I missing?

Last edited by JacobV on 26 Mar 2014, 2:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Probably better to ask this in Love and Dating, but women apparently find it easier to find a man, than it is for a man to find a woman. I have no clue though.

Most women don't USE online dating. That simple

(Thread moved from Autism discussion to L&D)

So I googled around for a bit and I found this theory:

"I have known several men juggling different girl friends and observe that several generations of men are chasing the same 18-35 range. A 35 year old nearly stole my girl friend when I was 18. My knock out cousin was with a 40 year old in her early 20s, and I mean your head rolling down a flight of stairs knockout. The girl at the library was 30 with a 50 something. Divorce is recycling older men some of whom are attractive to women right back into the pool. Then there is the fat. So between the most desirable young women in the 18-21 BMI range, it must be 6 to 1. Fat guys don't like fat girls either but some have jobs and jokes. Then when you go on-line, forget about it. Anonymous, lack of historical context gizmoism is definitely slanted towards la fiesta de chorizo."

There seems to be much truth to that... thinking back.. those dating sites do have a lot of old guys on there.

So now I guess there's a new question.... why do old men seek young women at a significantly higher rate than old women seeking young men?

It could be (and, as far as I am aware, probably is) a genetic leftover... Males in most species seek younger females due to the simple fact that they have a longer period remaining to bear more young. Females prefer older males over younger ones because they have proven themselves capable of the feats required to survive. These criteria are further tempered by social stigmas and the preferences towards features that improve the chances for survival and procreation, like certain complexion and temperaments, but yeah...

A bare-bones, sterile theory in my opinion, but perhaps it helps?

(Also, I apologize in advance if this offends anyone.)

I suppose that old guys seek younger women because they still feel the same desires that they had in their 20's and 30's but they now have more confidence. If a twenty something genuinely found me attractive then I'd treat it as an amazing compliment but it's highly unlikely to happen. You also need to consider unrealistic age expectations when it comes to computer dating, I'm 55 and the last time I filled out a form I asked for women in the 40 to 52 age range which is probably more realistic.

The gender imbalance is more complicated and off the top of my head I can think of the following reasons:

1) Historically there have been more women than men in populations because men go away to fight wars. The last global conflict was a long time ago and now the population is skewed the other way with lots of men chasing a smaller 'supply' of women.

2) The old social rules still seem to apply which dictate that a man must find a woman rather than the other way around.

Maybe because most women are actually smart and know that finding dates online is dangerous and stupid. I mean, how do you know the guy on the other end of the screen isn't really a serial rapist who then blinds his dates by poring bleach in their eyes so they can't identify him? Or he's some disgusting slob who never bathes with rotten teeth who can't wiggle his toes because they're stuck together with filth? You really have no way of knowing for sure until you actually meet him.

A higher percentage of women are shared amongst a lower percentage of men, younger women are highly sought after. I have really only dated older women if it is a few years older or a decade older, I think they feel a nurturing sense towards me and find that I provide more depth than my years. Women are sought after highly by men and traits like experience or being the provider are extremely attractive to younger girls, young girls like to follow the leader of what is popular. With older women though, it's a very different case...

My advice, become a toyboy, there are so many women out there that look great in their thirties and the fact they look great in their 30s show they haven't let themselves go like a girl in her 20s possibly could. Also having intellectual conversations and someone that is experienced in the bedroom is a plus. Women who are older know what they want as well and they aren't followers of pop culture or the herd.

I think that this is probably the reason, although "shared" is certainly not the right term to use

I think it may be that more women have learned to be happy single or are gay compared to men. Women don't need men for sex like men need women because of the way their parts work; there's numerous sex toys for women but not many for men unless their gay.

The reason is simple: they don't need it.

It's rare to meet an attractive, or even semi attractive girl who is single not by her own choice.

Since society ditacts women are the ones who get approached; there are lots of places to approach a woman.

Men want more sex.

Before any girl goes into a rant about how they're sex loving kittens, please note that I'm talking about the bell curve.

It doesn't make sense to me, either. OK, the sex part makes sense - yes, men generally have a higher sex drive. The online dating part also makes sense - there are many more men than women there. But even if we're talking about people looking for a relationship, offline, I constantly hear that men have to do the pursuing. This makes no sense if there are equally many single men and single women looking for each other. (If anything, I'd expect there to be more women than men looking for relationships, since men are more likely to be looking for only sex.) So I can only conclude that the single women who don't find themselves "pursued" tend to neither say nor do anything about it, creating the perception of an imbalance.

I don't agree that men generally have a higher sex drive.

And I don't agree that men are generally less loyal than women, studies tho that infidelity is almost equal despite the difference in the causes/reasons.

The real reasons are what Wind and thewhitrbbit said.

I rarely meet a girl who's single not by her own choice too.

Common reasons men say why they're single (Online, because in real life they less likely to admit why):
- No girl likes me.
- I am not attractive.
- I've asked out many but everyone is rejecting me.
- I am poor or I am broke or I am too fat.
- All women want successful and good-looking men while I am not.

Common reasons women say why they're single:
- I didn't find the right man yet.
- I want someone who's X, X and X...
- I got bored of losers.
- I can't find a good man in my area.
- All men in area are losers and/or ugly.

The reasons given by women shows that there's no lack of admirers/interested men but there's a lack of men who fit their criteria. While the reasons give by men often show they are not even on demand.

Reasons given by men often indicate that they have shortcomings in life, while reasons given by women don't indicate they have shortcomings but they see a lot of shortcomings in their admirers.

It's very rare to see a woman saying "because no man wants me".

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 Mar 2014, 4:37 am, edited 2 times in total.

That's true, but not much more. It's probably around 5% and eventually it evens out. It evens out because men still do stupid stuff, work at dangerous jobs, visit a doctor less often and are genetically prone to some diseases. Now 5% isn't much, but if all of those men are desperate to find someone, it may be just enough to skew things. The good thing is all you need to do is wait until you're 60 and there will be plenty of single women around you.