One thing's for sure - love stinks

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I've made quite a few posts about this, but here's yet another anyways.

I've been "chasing" a very close female friend for quite some time (over 2 years). Throughout those two years, I had asked her twice if a relationship between the two of us was a possibility. First time - no. Fine. A year later, I think I notice that her attitude towards me changes in the positive direction. Second time I ask the same question - still no. F**k.

Thankfully, our friendship is still intact, but my feelings for her haven't changed, and I'm still "chasing" her, even though it's all but hopeless at this point. How can I go about letting her go? If/when she does end up in a relationship (with someone who isn't me) I'd be devastated. She means everything to me, yet I can't outwardly express it in just a friendship.

Help.

You have nothing to let go of, except a fantasy.

Chin up - being devastated will cure your obsession.

That's just it - I can't bring myself to think that that's all that's left

Maybe look for other people? One friend of mine and I would have made a good couple but she made it clear she didn't want to date (though we had in past). There comes a point when you've just got to take 'no' for an answer and move on. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with someone who returned your affection?

I genuinely think that the best thing to do is occupy your mind with other things. If you find yourself thinking about her, make a conscious effort to think about something else. Start a new hobby and immerse yourself in that. Join a club and meet some new people.

I read some advice a few years ago that suggested if one is feeling obsessed with someone else then you should tell yourself, "ok, I'm going to only think about her for an hour a day." Then over time gradually cut that time down. Cut it to half an hour a day. Then quarter of an hour a day, then 10 min, then 5, then hopefully nothing.

I sympathize. I've been there. It hurts because you adore that person and love being around them, but they don't feel that same need as you do. I made myself spend less and less time with this person and eventually I got over him. I still have feelings in there somewhere, but I don't feel obsessed and filled with need to be near him and talk to him anymore. I feel free now.

It gets better with time.

That might work. That is, if I wasn't so socially awkward. I have no real *close* friends except this girl and one other person. That's why I don't want to leave her, because I want there to be something. I want things to change. Will they though, is the real question

Do/did you ever spend any time with them? With her, I see her on a regular basis, at least twice a week. We share a martial arts class together, and that makes it quite difficult

I used to work with him. I saw him 5 days a week. We lived in the same town, so even outside of work I was liable to see him around town or at the shops. I did something drastic. I got a new job and moved an hour's drive away. Even then we still used to text message each other and phone each other from time to time. It took a few years to slowly break contact.

I know that feel man but you got to move on!

There is a study that if you don't get together in 3-4 months then it isn't going to happen. (google it)