Seriously need Relationship help

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Modefi
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Joined: 27 Mar 2013
Age: 38
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29 Mar 2014, 8:34 am

Im a diogionised Aspie every Valentines day i feel mega depressed, just came back out of hospital was that depressed.
Just came back from a party and left because it was socially unconfortable had a girl i liked rubing her leg on me and when my friend left felt akward and unsure if she likes me or not she was showing all the NT signs of interest but im still confused.
Left because didnt know what to do and felt arkward, the whole way home i am confused and hating myself, i am not a Virgin i have been with a few Women but that is not what i am After, i have never had a proper girlfriend and it is what i think i need the most, i do not understand girls i am skilled worker with tickets and license etc... as well as posessions and some of the ppl i know are no hopers and still get nice girls who they treat like garbage and yet they stay with them.

Sorry about the rant but can someone plz give me some advise because im sick of being socailly inept when it comes to females and feel like i will be forever alone.
Please only answer if you are a Aspie Male in a relationship or a Aspie Female, or NT Female



accountinglad
Deinonychus
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29 Mar 2014, 11:38 am

start making conversation with the girl saying that was a cool party etc and see what happens from there.



Eccles_the_Mighty
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30 Mar 2014, 4:12 pm

At 27 I was just like you, same lack of social skills when it came to the ladies, same awkwardness at parties, the lot. Now at 55 I'm not perfect but life is a hell of a lot easier and if I wasn't living with someone I'd have done something about the gal rubbing her leg against yours.

So...................................

The first thing to do is to get you used to the company of the opposite sex. Sign up with one or two of the dating websites, OK Cupid is a good start, and get your profile on there. BE HONEST when you fill the stuff out because if you lie you will eventually get found out.

Start keeping a diary, this is for a couple of reasons. Firstly it's nice to keep an eye on your progress and see (hopefully) how well things develop. Secondly as you start to meet girls you will make mistakes, this is not a problem because of the nature of computer dating, fluff up and you just move along to the next one and try again. It might sound a little cold hearted but the idea here is for you to learn from your mistakes, if something works then try it again but if something crashes and burns then ask yourself why it failed, modify your behavior and then have another go.

Get help. I'm not just talking about the sort of help you get here I'm talking about professional help from people like psychiatrists, psychologists and the other folk who might understand what's going on in the aspie mind. They might know of some social skills training in which case take it and make use of what you learn.

I don't know what your interests are but consider joining one or two local clubs that cater to them. With me it's ham radio and jazz but I also go to the local English club here and at all three venues there are members of the opposite sex. The idea here is NOT dating, it's just a way to get used to meeting people in a social setting and talking with them, another way of improving your social skills.

So, here's some ideas but on Wrong Planet you're going to find a lot more. Look through the posts, especially those in the Love & Dating section and see what replies there have been to questions similar to yours. This site is an amazing resource and I'm sure that it can help.


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Modefi
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30 Mar 2014, 5:40 pm

My interests are computers, cars and anything Japanese basically, i own a Japanese import.
As for the way of help i visit a psychiatrists/psychologists, but they dont help much the only ones who help are specailists but at upwards of $180 AUD an hour i simply cant afford and that is with Medicare, which i know the US has only recently implemented but Australia has had since i was born, most medication and healthcare here is heavily subsidised or free.

As for my interests i cannot talk about them as they seem to bore women etc, who wants to talk about different induction setups for the next 5 hours or why i think Java is crap in comparison with C++.

I am on several dating sites and none of the girls seem my type...