My Friend/Girlfriend won't come over to my house?

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I have been in a weird flirty relationship with this girl for over a year now and every time I ask her to come by and have dinner or watch a movie at my apartment she refuses so all our dates or meetings end up having to be some scheduled dinner or activity. I have asked her several times before why she won't come by and the most she has told me is she is bother by being with people in out of public places. Now anytime I even approach the issue we end up having a fight and she won't even talk about it. I don't understand this because she hangs out with her girl friends in private or will sit in my car with me or hang out in my mother's house when I am house sitting there. Can anyone shed some light on this I am utterly baffled?

Going to a guy's house as a female, especially if your dating, can often imply your going to have sex.

So it could be many things

1.) She's uncomfortable with having sex or wants to wait
2.) She's not interested in a sexual relationship

It sounds like it might be number 1 because she is hanging out with you.

She thinks you're making a move on her.

She's not comfortable with it. She doesn't want anything romantic/sexual, and she doesn't have the nerve to say it. I'd just let it go if you don't want to be her friend.

I think the gist is she isn't comfortable.

She could have been hurt (or date-raped) in the past, or fears something like this (doesn't have to have its roots in reality).


Give her the benefit of the doubt and just accept what she says at face value. She simply isn't comfortable going to your place right now. Back off.

I wouldn't assume the worst, she just doesn't want to go there. The more you harass her for a reason the less she will want to see you. It's nice to get a reason, but the bottom line is she doesn't have to give you one.

OP: Are you in a romantic relationship with this person or do you just think you are?

I do not know is the simplest answer. We have dated officially and then fell into this routine of essentially going on dates. I have kissed her...once and she is well aware of my feelings but there was another man, maybe is another man which complicates things. She has told me once when I pressured her that she was developing romantic feelings for me but that at the time she didn't feel the same, that was 6 months ago. We have had out ups and downs but recently within say the 2 months up till this last fight that is, she acted flirty with me teasing me with lewd chit chat but I really just don't know where I stand in relation to everything which is why I think I press the issue on this and some of the other issues we have because all of them (ie. meeting my friends, my family, kissing) are the only definitive means I have of determining into which category we are in.

That isn't a relationship.

Ask her flat out where you stand, if she can't even answer that she isn't worth it.