Aspergers + unemployed + trans = undateable to cis-women?

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Concept
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01 Apr 2014, 12:15 pm

This is probably me being a bit too specific, but has anyone with the above managed success?

I don't have any trouble attracting guys, but I'm not into them in the same way. : (

Things feel helpless.



Prof_Pretorius
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01 Apr 2014, 12:35 pm

I have read posts on here by women saying they like feminine-looking guys.


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LookingLost
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01 Apr 2014, 2:07 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:
I have read posts on here by women saying they like feminine-looking guys.


Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'd taken Concept to be female?


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smudge
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01 Apr 2014, 2:09 pm

I'm confused.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Apr 2014, 2:32 pm

I won't lie to you, it won't be easy at all.



Concept
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01 Apr 2014, 5:06 pm

I know. : (

Yes, I'm male-to-female. Not a "feminine looking guy".



Prof_Pretorius
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01 Apr 2014, 5:21 pm

Concept wrote:
I know. : (

Yes, I'm male-to-female. Not a "feminine looking guy".


Best of luck, then.


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Delilah85
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01 Apr 2014, 9:11 pm

Have you tried online dating? Personally I've never been interested in women, so it's a bit hard to give advice. I don't see why you should be "undateable" unless you start labeling yourself as such. Confidence is always attractive.



grainxs
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01 Apr 2014, 9:30 pm

Being trans mostly doesn't make things hard. Most of the people just don't care if you're trans of cis, when they've already fallen in love with you. But being unemployed could perhaps be a problem to someone. It's the matter of principle, how do they think about that. But on the other hand, finding someone that doesn't think unemployment as a problem shouldn't be any harder than finding someone with any other matching principles. (Depending where're you from. People tend to have different attitudes towards things depending where they live.)
And unfortunately, this is what may make this hard: Finding the someone. I mean, as aspie you probably won't meet new people so much? Of course, this applies to aspies in general. But meeting new people is even harder if you're not working or studying.



GivePeaceAChance
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02 Apr 2014, 6:49 am

I think the biggest problem is the unemployed part - I need any womon I date to at a minimum be able to go "dutch", I am also limited income and am really not gong to provide the money in a relationship


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Tyl3r
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02 Apr 2014, 6:50 am

Grainxs, I don't know if you have first hand exprrience of being trans, but some of my friends have had a hard time because of it.

I'm designated female at birth and ID as agender and present as androgynous and totally open to dating neurodiverse trans people. I don't know if I'm trans as I feel genderless (sometimes I bind my chest, but I don't want masculine facial hair and don't take hormones). I don't date ofteb and have only had one proper partner, though when I came out as agender I found out she was very committed to binaristic approaches to gender and was transphobic.

I've found too, that mainstream lesbian places can be transphobic and anti bisexual. It's really stupid, but I guess works as a filter to weed out time wasters.

Concept, do you know many queer people in your area?



outsidein
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02 Apr 2014, 7:36 am

Not UNdateable, you just need to find the right woman and it may not be easy but definitely possible. You need an open minded, bisexual, transfriendly, aspie woman that's all and we do exist!!

I am a bi cis woman and certainly wouldn't rule out dating you if I ever met you - unfortunately I'm currently married to a guy and living the "privileged heterosexual lifestyle". :D

I have a friend (female) whose partner is trans (mtf). They are a wonderful and very happy couple! I have no idea if either are aspie but they have their own business together so no traditional employment there either.

Like Tyl3r said there is transphobia in the gay community for sure, and that sucks. There's also bi-phobia. Just because someone is gay doesn't make them open minded or a nice person. But not everyone is like that.



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02 Apr 2014, 4:02 pm

There is also acephobia and that has been in the trans community as well and the gay community and I always find it ironic.


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smudge
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02 Apr 2014, 4:07 pm

Sometimes the singled-out like to single others out. It's like prejudice being passed on. Or another form of hierarchy.


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02 Apr 2014, 5:23 pm

Or pecking order people call it.


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