Going to a nightclub/bar

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Might be going to the local gay bar in town this weekend.

If I see anyone I like, what should I say to her to get her number or something?

Last time I swapped numbers with someone at this bar, this girl used me sexually after we'd hung out a few times, took my favourite dog tags, and she told me 2 days later I'm ugly and not interested in me, when I asked her if she'd go out with me (begin a relationship) and turned it around on me saying I never said the relationship was exclusive when she was kissing another girl in the bar.

So yeah, I don't want that to happen again, so how can I avoid being anxious and stuff, and how to get myself out there? I'm not looking for a one night stand, I'd like to start a relationship with someone once I get to know them a lot for some time, and I've run out of options of where to meet people.

I tried meetups on meetup.com, I tried conventions where people immediately have the same interests, I tried dating sites, I tried bars as above, I've come to a dead end.

Hi,

I'm really not sure about gay bars, although when I went to one once with my gay friend plus a couple of other straight friends to keep him company, there didn't seem to be very many women at all and it was very male dominated (was probably that specific bar/area though).

In straight bars, a lot of the men there who pick up women seem to be only after one thing.... I really have no idea how it is for a woman trying to pick up another woman. Sorry, I can't be of more help.

Also really sorry to hear you had a bad experience. Perhaps don't do anything sexual until you know you can trust them... and maybe form more of a friendship with them first

xx

Any advice?

Be yourself, and don't be afraid to tell someone what needs to be said.
I'm sure if you find someone with your personality, they'd not want to be used either.

Hope it helped.

I wish i could help but i'm scared of women. (us blokes get taken advantage of sexually too, words biggest secret that, don;t go telling anyone)

the key no matter where you do end up meeting other womyn is to set out your limits at the beginning. In my area there is not an exclusively lesbian bar but one o fthe clubs does have nights that concentrate on womyn. I pretty much only go on those nights. I did not meet anyone to date but have made friends (most of the crowd is younger than I am)

Eh... Ive had a keen interest to visiting a gay clup, but I couldn't see the experience any differently from standard clubs. Places like that though is aften a sensory overloading nightmare to even be socially interested.

What I've known from word of mouth is that gay bars do tend to be much more sexually charged, to within British male to male gay culture at least.

not my experience (US) I get approached constantly in a straight bar, mostly I have friends and fun at the club I go to (I can't do it a lot though due to overload and I step outside avery now and then)

Check if they organize lesbian-only nights.

Most people go to bars looking for a hookup, if that's your thing, go have fun. I really can't say if it's any different in the lesbian crowd though, I'd think not?

So no advice on how to approach a woman?

I have never approached anyone, I am passive in dating.

mostly get up the nerve to just talk to her and start with light subjects - I respond really well when she is interested in me and what I like, just keep asking leading questions and more than anything REMEMBER what she says - it really turns me off if I tell people about myself and they come back later and still seem to know nothing about me.

there are also books and stuff about flirting, the gender of the two people makes no difference.

eye contact, posture and actions show your interest and bring in the target (I know hard, this is why I don't do it)

light, non-offensive touch is also good, but some don't respond well, and being overly aggressive is taking it too far

buy her a drink, perfect opening

I'd really like to see what you look like in real life Wind, it's getting to me...

As for advice I'm really not sure... Just be yourself and fake confidence is all I can honestly think of.

Why are you wanting to see what I look like? You'll just have to keep guessing.

You have come to an internet forum that is mostly occupied by people on the autistic spectrum and you are asking for advice on how to approach a woman? I think the odds were always stacked against you. i admire and respect you for trying though. Good luck.

I went to the bar. It sucked. Music/DJ never used to be that bad.

I was there no longer than an hour.

Nobody I saw there I liked and even if I did none of them were approachable, all with relationships or groups of friends.

Oh well I tried.