tell women if have asprugers or not

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im very scaried to tell women i have aspruger because i think they will not like me as a person, i have bad experience in the past and it has hurt me. i think i met a girl would understated me that would be great. i am 20 year old i can drive and i have job. i just don't seem what i cant get a date. i have a very hard time telling if girl seem inserted. im very sad and lonely cause i don't really understand female body language.
i am bad speller. i have digraphia and dyslexia .

Why would you tell someone your medical issues?

Do they tell you theirs?

You can think about that stuff, after you meet someone, and get involved a while later. They may figure it out on their own.

Asperger's is a bit part of who I am and I would expect a girl I'm dating seriously to understand that about me and I'd want to be able to trust them enough to talk to them about it. It's a big part of who I am and I can't exactly hide it. I don't tell people I just met or don't know very well though. If it's a deal breaker for a woman I don't care, it's who I am, I'm comfortable with it enough. I mean sure, I hate being autistic, but I am. Hiding it and not being confident because of it just hurts me in the long run.

There really isn't any reason to go up to people and say "Hi, I am Hale Bopp.. I have aspergers syndrome" its just stupid.
Tell someone when you are ready to once you've actually gotten to know them and if they don't like it, stuff them.

Tell them, but don't tell them on the first date. Wait a couple dates, a month or so, before you tell them. At least until you've gotten to know them better.

Sometimes when you tell them even after a while they will dump you.

this. Don't tell them right away! Please don't. It would be weird and they would feel uncomfortable and probably see yourself as their idea of aspergers instead of who you are because they don't know you yet and don't know much of aspergers. Also you don't want to be defined as having aspergers, but on being yourself. There are lots of other parts of yourself, things that make you you. Show them those first!
only tell later when you are in a long term relationship.

I would say get to know them first, and if they seem comfortable with the idea of you just having special "quirks" (as in, they don't have some uncomfortable reaction to/are okay with anything you do) then tell them if it feels right.

It's funny, because I think a huge reason I was so attracted to my current fella was because we seemed so on the same page and his "weird" things complement my "weird" things (our aspergic traits. neither of us is uncomfortable with the other's abnormal qualities and tendencies. it just feels natural). I recognized him as having Asperger's from early on, but it was still special to me when he brought it up to me, like he wanted to get it off his chest and get it out there.

so, I think I would let the ladies get to know you first, form a base connection with them, then tell them if they seem comfortable with who you are when they don't know. I guess I personally consider talking about it "opening up" about a more personal thing, as it ties in so closely with your past experiences with people and how you developed as an individual.

[quote="hale_bopp"]There really isn't any reason to go up to people and say "Hi, I am Hale Bopp.. I have aspergers syndrome" its just stupid.
Particularly if their name is not Hale Bopp.

Better to take this secret to your grave.

Don't listen here, every woman I have dated and had sex with I have told that I am Autistic. Being Autistic doesn't define your attitude, personality, spirit, willpower or persistence, better to get it out so both of you can understand each other better instead of getting frustrated or awkward.

I struggled with this question for a while right after I was diagnosed. At first it made sense for me to tell the girl right away that I have AS, it's the AS thing to do right? After some thought I decided against it. Most people not in the AS/Autism loop are only going to be able to fall back on pop culture references from TV and movies to understand. In my opinion, most of the characters they would know (think Sheldon), are a grossly inaccurate representation of what AS/Autism is actually like. That imagery is only going to chase them away until they get to know you enough.

Unless of course she had AS also and I knew about it somehow up front. I would share it then, with little hesitation.

It's only an issue if you make it an issue. If you weren't diagnosed you wouldn't say anything. Why should you if you are?

Unless you've been with them a while and you think you have a beneficial effect on the relationship, it's not needed.

Good advice.

Yes, it can go wrong if you make a negative issue out of it, especially if you have only been a couple of dates as the other person may think you are trying to make them obligated to understand you in some way.

I think this a little akin to 'being a nice guy' where people just see you as that one thing, don't bother to menntion it unless it comes up.