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LeaPoufyPony
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17 May 2016, 6:56 pm

I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.He works the same building from my work so I ran into him outside few times a week. I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because I asked him if he has been at the gym lately and he said no he hasn't been for 2 months because he has been working 4 jobs.Would that be a deal breaker for you



Fnord
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17 May 2016, 7:08 pm

Four jobs, huh?

Either he cannot find full-time work, or he has some hellacious debts to pay off ... tuition ... medical bills ... alimony ... child support ...



kraftiekortie
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17 May 2016, 9:05 pm

Having four jobs is well-nigh impossible, in my opinion. If one works four hours in each job, and can do all these jobs in one's own area, there would only be time for about two hours of getting prepared for work, and five hours sleep.

I work two jobs, a total of 12 hours a day. It's pretty hard.



nick007
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17 May 2016, 9:11 pm

Maybe he only works at each job one or two days a week or does something from home. I love spending aLOT of time with my partner so I'd ask him if he thinks his work load will lessen soon & I'd move on if he says No.


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mysterymystique
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17 May 2016, 10:02 pm

Why 4 jobs? Is he cobbling 4 part-time ins together to make ends meet?



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17 May 2016, 10:04 pm

Or he's an exceptionally disciplined and hard-working person aiming to earn money and make something of himself so he can retire at 50 as a millionaire.

Without additional information, you can't tell.


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18 May 2016, 3:20 am

You can't really say it's a red flag. If he didn't have any and wasn't bothered looking, that would be a red flag.
I once had 3 jobs. The main one was 22h per week, so I needed something else to top up my earnings. So I had this other job that i did as relief, when they needed me. And on top of that i volunteered one day a week in an activity club that they later decided to pay me for. I didn't work more than 40h per week in total I think.

I wonder however if maybe he wanted to let you know he's not interested. That's what NTs do: 'I'm too busy' is their code for that. And he said he something so unbelievable like that has 4 jobs because he really wanted you to get the message? Sorry but that could be the case. Be polite and keep saying hi to him but if he doesn't approach you himself, find someone else to be interested in :-)



helloarchy
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18 May 2016, 4:05 am

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me; it shows commitment, self motivation and discipline. As others have said, each job might be small in hours, so he could be doing a standard 35 - 40 hour week for all we know. If you like him, then it could be worth getting to know him more before deciding if it's a red flag or not. He could've been exaggerating in hopes of impressing you? who knows.



izzeme
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18 May 2016, 4:20 am

It doesn't have to be, this totally depends on the type and time consumption of the jobs (are more than one of them full-time? are all 4 for a single day per week? some daily others at night?), as well as the reason for having so many (cannot find full-time, temporary to buy a house, high healthcare costs...)

whithout knowing the what/how/why of the situation, it is impossible to make useful decisions, so none should be made untill this information is available (well, not based on this one given, there could well be other red flags)



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19 May 2016, 6:41 pm

It can be really hard to find full-time jobs these days, a lot of companies just want to hire part-time and sometimes with a very low number of hours. Sometimes it takes 4 part-time jobs to add up to full-time.



solo
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22 May 2016, 12:04 am

That shouldn't be a deal breaker until you know his situation in life. I used to have 2 part time jobs while I went to college. I currently work 13 hrs a day, 7 days a week, sometimes a bit less, but 80-90 hrs is normal for at least 6 months, then tapers down to min 40 (self employed). I get home, eat dinner around 10-11pm, watch an hour of TV, then sleep. I have given up the dream of a relationship, I am too tired plus the aspie deal.

He may be a workaholic. I know many where that is what they enjoy and keeps them going. Give him a chance



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22 May 2016, 12:17 am

LeaPoufyPony wrote:
I have been talking to this guy that I've had my eyes on for a while now.He works the same building from my work so I ran into him outside few times a week. I find him interesting so I wanted to ask him if he'd like to hang out .However, I'm now discouraged because I asked him if he has been at the gym lately and he said no he hasn't been for 2 months because he has been working 4 jobs.Would that be a deal breaker for you



I would be asking a bunch of questions like what kind of jobs are they, how long does he work for at each of them. How does he even have time to sleep and get stuff done and how does he even eat. Are these jobs temporary.

But to me four jobs means they are that poor they have to work that many jobs to make ends meet. It could mean other things too like debt so that is why I would be asking. And I would wonder how would they even have time to date. If he is that busy with four jobs, he might not have time for a date so it might be a deal breaker for me.


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0_equals_true
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23 May 2016, 8:08 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Having four jobs is well-nigh impossible, in my opinion.

You don't need to do all of them on the same days.



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23 May 2016, 8:17 am

0_equals_true wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Having four jobs is well-nigh impossible, in my opinion.

You don't need to do all of them on the same days.


I was just going to say the same thing.

I used to work 35 hours mon-fri programming. then 9 hours in a pet shop on a sat and 3 dog walking on a sunday. I didn't need the money just had nothing else to do and was bored lol. was 18 at the time though wouldn't do that now ;)


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