Signs That A Man on the Autism Spectrum Likes You

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I need some help being able to read signs whether or not a man formally diagnosed with autism wants to be with me. Although I don't want to go into great depth about all the circumstances or give too much identifying information...I do need help in understand him. Here are a few things he has done that make me wonder if he likes me as the potential for either a close friendship or more:

- He stares at me often...which I happen to like, and I stare back.
- Have definitely noticed that he seems nervous around me...which I think is cute.
- Although he does talk to other girls at the university...he stims exclusively when he is talking with/to me.
- When I say something, he often says, "yay....me too!" He does not do this often with others...only occasionally.
- He used to send emails often...but now he has slowed down a lot...so I wonder if he lost any possible interest in me?
- He always asks me what I want and directly asks for my opinion on things.
- He often tries to help me with little and even somewhat big things.
- Thing is...he also tries to tell me that I need to change this...or that...and implies that I need to be more direct
- He compliments me every time I see him in some way.

Thanks in advance for any feedback...be it good or bad. We are not in a position to date/see each other at this time...so this is more about the potential for a future dating/partner relationship. I just don't want to even entertain the "idea" of us anymore...unless it seems he may also be interested in more.

you may have to ask him directly. He might be coming off as a little bit desperate (they call it "thirsty" now) but he may not know that and think its normal (I used to when i was in high school). You won't know until you are direct with him and asking him if he likes you or not. Try not to use subtle clues or anything obscure, you'll have to be very straight to the point and very down to detail by asking him.

Top sign that an autistic man is attracted to you:
You ask, "Are you attracted to me?"
He replies, "Yes."

Kaufman: Thank you for the reply. I wish that I could be direct in this particular situation. Due to the circumstances...although we are definitely well beyond legal consent and age...in this situation, if I say anything...it could be viewed as harassment and/or make him feel uncomfortable. In fact, due to the environment that we are in...if either one of us brought up the subject of dating at this time...it could be viewed in a negative manner. This is why I'm looking for specific suggestions on how to know for sure if he does like me prior to addressing anything with him. My hope is to become good friends with him (and maybe more)....and that could be a possibility at the end of Fall next year. However, I do not want to pine away for him any more and get my hopes up...just to have them come crashing down.

Bodyles: I appreciate your advice. Can you tell me any signs that he might want to spend more time with me one-on-one? Ty.

^ is he your tutor or one of the Professors. If the answer to this question is Yes then the answer to the question 'Does he like me that way' is - It doesn't matter. Of course, it's not unheard of, but first try and find out if he is available. And not gay.

Omg... by what you are saying about him, he might like you. Or at least he did. Your scheduling, time line, this or that stuff is adding to his confusion I could bet. Your not direct enough. If you cannot be direct, honest, and to the point, don't bother. If he likes you, he is probably trying to push himself away from you. Trust me, when it comes to the opposite sex, someone with autism can very easily get himself into a lot of trouble by just going after a girl he likes. I did that when i was under 18, and would not even think about it now. Sometimes it comes off as rude, or offensive, to the point where that person doesn't even try anymore. Nothing like a girl sending you mixed signals, or signals you don't understand. Figiting, and fumbling, and not saying what's really on her mind. It's just a bad tease. Kinda like torture. This is not a game. Either it is, or it is not.

Interesting. No girl I know likes being stared at. It scares them.


He doesn't know what to do. Possible inexperience.


Nervousness again. No other comment necessary.


Trying to impress you... whether he is being honest or not is a different story.


Probably doesn't understand his own emotions. I would have to say the emotional high wore off, and chances are he hit a low.


Non-verbal issue in communication is what this tells me.


The caring side of him is coming out.


Problems reading non-verbal cues and other social cues maybe.


This might be the obvious sign that he likes you. I hope he isn't overdoing it.

This is a pretty true statement. If I went after a girl I liked when I was younger, it might come across as rather intense and scary for the girl. They hated it, and I do remember receiving phone calls from their friends being threatened with "restraining orders" or some older, taller, tougher guy wanting to kick my ass if I didn't stop. It didn't matter what the intentions were. if the social skills weren't there, it scared the girls to death.

People on the autism spectrum can be very similar to players/PUAs in the regard that they typically go for the easiest options. The difference would be the perceived confidence level between the player and the autistic person. Players don't often like chasing, and neither do Aspies/autistic people because we learned that it never works out in our favour. Then girls wonder why we won't chase them as we grow older.

Wow!! Thank you everyone so much for your detailed help. It has been eye-opening for me to see things through a different lens.

I do care and will tell him after all this is over with. My hope is that I can be patient and make it until Fall. May end up having to "dry hump" a pillow or the couch until then...lol. Joking aside...I really do care for him in many ways. For his mind, his attitude, quirkiness, cuteness, sense of humor and more...and my only hope is that he is willing to meet me halfway. I am even willing to even do 75/25 due to other factors considered.

Hope he thinks that I am a lady worth waiting for....

It's like double-dutch jump-rope.
You can observe as long as you want, looking to see if you've got your opening, but at some point you just have to jump in and hope you're right.

You could try making an obvious comment that shows you're attracted to him, and see if he reacts.
The last relationship I was in started because she said to me one day, out of the blue, "You have really pretty eyes."
She'd been hanging out and helping with the project I was working on, and seemed to enjoy my company, but that comment made me realize she was actually attracted to me.
I asked her out on the spot, and she said yes.

Sometimes a person won't do anything. Generally I don't because I am absolutely terrified. To be quite honest, even if he is attracted to you he might wind up not having any idea what to say or do and so it could come across that he isn't interested. Not sure on the cure to that.

Bodyles: I like the double-dutch rope analogy as I used to do that at summer camp when I was in my teens. There is indeed going to have to be more direct indicators that I want to be with him. Maybe he'll come to see that this is not about some chase/game for me. Am going to make more attempts to go about this in ways that are both clear...yet leave both of us feeling respected and ok with a choice.

Pabbicus: If I wait much longer...I fear this is exactly what will happen. This guy implies that he would like to see me to be more assertive (with life in general). The irony is, once a person really gets to know me...they never call me passive/submissive. If anything...I have to watch to make sure I don't go on the other end of that and come off like a bulldozer. My tendency is, if I see something I like...I want it and try to go after it hard. Although I don't always get everything, I try to go for it. I appreciate your help...and will try to find a way that he and I can be alone in a different venue a few times...b/c that would help me to feel more comfortable in being open about my thoughts and feelings on him. I want to be honest with him, yet not push or request him to compromise his own self. That is the conundrum. Hope that makes sense.

i always stare at the boys i like

Okay, thanks Adam. It's good to know that this is a potential sign of interest. It is a kind stare...with an occasional smile, I dig it.

Those are all the exact same things I do when I like someone. He dropped off his emailings because he wasn't able to tell if he was being too forward or "creepy" or... worse. Aspies also tend to be binary in their logic, either it is right or it's wrong, it's working or it's not, so he was emailing while he thought it might be working, and then quit abruptly when he thought it probably wasn't working. Also some of the scramble might be due to whatever your positions are that make it a socially questionable action. If he treats you differently than he treats others, and is more nervous or awkward around you vs around random others... that is a pretty clear sign. For example, I'm highly fluid socially around people I could care less about (or new people), but will be nervous, jittery, "shifty looking" and by all NT judgements "creepy" around those I am actually interested in. Sort of a curse, because it does commonly end in offers of having my face flattened or police called.

They make no signs, that's why more than 50% of them probably die single.