Kissed my crush on cheek and now he is avoiding me?

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Hi

I've been friends with an AS guy for years. I am very verbally affectionate with him which he usually is receptive too (in the past he has known I've had feelings for him). Recently, we went to dinner and I finally initiated a goodbye kiss on the cheek to say thank you and goodbye as I got out of his car. Since then he seems like he is avoiding me and talks but it's very delayed and seems like he has shut down on me. Did I do anything wrong?

send him an email or IM or what you prefer, telling him that you are sorry if you overstimulated him or frightened him in any way, and also that you very much enjoyed your evening together. what might be in his mind, is fear that he cannot up the ante, as it were, fears of not satisfying you. that is my own experience. that is a very hard thing for some male aspies to surmount and transcend. I wish you the best of luck.

Thank you for the feedback. It is greatly appreciated

I hope things work out for you two.

I don't think you did anything wrong. Everyone is a mixed bag of characteristics the exist in varied magnitudes. Nothing ventured, nothing lost, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Every active relationship is an ongoing experiment.

I wouldn't contact him. I would leave him until he contacts you.

OR, arrange to see him still, but be distant with him yourself. Friendly, but distant. Don't talk about him and you, but just general things. Treat like a friend/aquaintence only.

It probably freeked him out because he didn't expect that. I do the same thing sometimes.

Speaking as an autistic person who at one point lacked confidence and self-acceptance: If my crush had kissed me on the cheek in those days, it would have terrified me. I might just have fled the country altogether.

That's just one experience, but still. He might be really scared and/or confused. I would try talking things over with him, but I'd do so very carefully/delicately.

I kissed my crush on the cheek once. It shocked her and she ran away screaming. I'm surprised she didn't start avoiding me anymore than she already was, so I think you'll be fine

maybe, just maybe, it would be best when dealing with a mixed couple [AS and less AS] if the less AS one slowly introduced the physical warm fuzzies, prefaced it maybe with, "honey, will you please let me hug you/kiss you?" IOW ASK and let the other partner have some control over the process, that way it is not thrust upon him or her and he or she can warm up to it or at least get ready for it. do this on a regular basis and desensitization may well occur.

You mentioned being friends for years, how in the past he's known you had feelings for him & that you two had dinner together but you don't specify as to weather it was an official date. Us Aspies can be pretty dense about things NTs cant understand we miss. Is it possible he wasn't aware the dinner was supposed to be a date when plans were made & is avoiding because he's not interested in a romantic relationship with you?

clear communication is key, the more social partner has to make things plain for the less social person, to always keep him or her in the loop in terms of going out and about, and going on dates, and in terms of what the more social partner desires. these desires can be put gently over time, to the less social partner for him or her to digest/cogitate at their own speed.