Finding someone seems too hard.

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I am 26, and I have autistic disorder (at least it was aspergers in MN till they changed it I guess), and I have never dated. My mother died when I was 3, so I didn't have the right love and nurture that I should of had. The worst part is that I have social anxiety and major depression thanks to my upbringing and growing up being bullied in school plus my acne was bad. When I was in high school, I was not interested in any activities because I was interested in video games a lot and didn't like talking to people. I had matured over this by messing up on trying to date a few girls, but now I moved on with them. Just last year, I met this great girl at a anime convention, and she was nice. After the convention we hung out with her friends and rode some carnival rides together. I have tried to ask if she wanted to hang out, but then she got busy with school and later I got myself too busy. Now she's too busy working and spending time with her family, so I just text her probably once a month to ask her how she's doing. I hung out with her briefly at another anime convention for a couple days, but she was busy doing most of her own thing. One of my best friends, had dated her; She only decided to take a break with him because she was going to be busy and she couldn't balance a relationship with him. It seems because he is closer to her, I have no chance, so I tried to find other women out there. At another anime convention in the fall of last year I tried talking to a couple girls I'm attracted to. There was this 1, 19 year old. The first day I walked with her, things seemed to go great except, she put my number in her phone saying "I'll text you". she never did. I screwed up again trying to get her number, then awkwardly I met her mother on FB, and said I'm too old for her. (It's too hard to find someone around my age with the similar interests as me). I was frustrated with trying to meet people; Some of them don't want to be my friend just because I'm the opposite sex, so I kinda felt like being a misogynist (although I still have some female friends to exclude from hating) who hated seeing what I couldn't get; I started to hate disney movies, any romance songs on the radio, and such. I feel like I'm getting too old for never have dated, and I'm not going to wait forever. I won't be as desperate because I'm trying to protect my heart from girls even though they aren't putting me down in the dumps on purpose. Eventually it will seem when one finally tries to talk to me, I won't make any moves because I might get rejected and I'm sick of it. I just want to learn to be happy alone for the rest of my life now. It seems that at my age, it's too hard to get out there because my interests. I live around Minneapolis, MN which should be a good spot, but I'm just oblivious of what's out there. Any advice?

you are still young and still have time to right things.

Thanks, but I think you're advice is too vague. How do I right things? Where do I go? What do I do? I can't just stop being a romance hater because it's not fair that other people find love in their 20's. (that's really what you see in most america). I would like some more detailed advice, and no offense, but advices like: "Your attitude needs to be better", "Don't worry, you'll find someone" or even the most cliche: "there's lots of fish in the sea". I will not just settle for any kind of woman, and I know not every person finds love on this planet. Maybe it's because I'm different from most people. I can't just change who I am.

Well, I didn't even startdating until 28 and most Aspies I know are in a similar situation. I have been working with a counselor on this front and the best I can tell you is to step out of our comfort zone. For example, I'm volunteering to help out at a more female-focused event in town. Will I meet the one there? Unlikely. However, I will be more and more comfortable around women and build that confidence and courage. My main problem is that I obsess over one girl and make myself too nervous to do anything so knowing there are plenty of options helps. My suggestion would be to write down what you have to offer, what your 'perfect' girl would be and make a plan as to how you can make the two come together and just put it in the back of your mind. It is more frustrating than I would have imagined since few girls seem to have have honesty and reliability and disappear quicker than a magician but once I found one she will be special. I hear you about the whole bullying and acne thing I had a major problem with both but remember those things are in the PAST and you are a better person for having endured it.

A lot of people do find love and get married and have kids in their 20s but get divorced and miserable in their 30s since they have few conflict negotiation skills because of their relatively easy ride through life. It all depends on how you want to look at it.

First thing you have to realise is most people get rejected a lot before they get a "yes".
I have a post on this somewhere, i'll find it.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6014906 ... t=#6014906

This advice is helpful. Thanks. I am also self hypnotizing with youtube videos. It seems to help to let the desperation go. I miss feeling like a kid and not having deep feelings for someone because there's a fear of rejection that is causing me to be depressed and feel bad about myself. At this time, more serious stuff came up, and now finding someone is the least of my worries at the moment.