What is it about 2nd/3rd dates?

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I've posted about this before, but I have an issue: I never seem to get further than 2-3 dates. I'm an engineer, so I'm a problem solver...at work I often do something called a root cause failure analysis to determine the underlying cause of a problem. I'm trying to apply a similar methodology to my social/relationship issues, to look at all possible causes and find ways to fix them.

Anyways, over the past 1.5 years I've gone out with 20-25 people...I've basically been asking out 1 new person each month. From the first date, all but ~2 led to a second date. Those 2 were both cases where we were clearly incompatible anyways. Out of the second dates, around half led to a third. Out of those third dates, 0 led to a fourth. I know that I've seen posts on here by others who describe a very similar situation.

Since essentially every first date led to a second, I feel like I must be doing something right initially. But since it seems to go downhill from there, I must be doing something wrong later on. I don't really act any differently on the second/third dates, so I really don't know what "it" is. Is there any sort of "progression" that you expect to see from dates #1 to 3? Things someone should do/not do?

I'm definitely not a quitter so I'm going to keep on trying my best at this, but after so many rejections I'm starting to feel very burned out. I keep telling myself that all it takes is one person, but it's tough to remain optimistic when, as of yet, I haven't had even an inkling of success. Not to mention, it's quite hard to meet people, particularly people that I have things in common with. I feel like the more I keep dating new people, the smaller my pool of potential candidates becomes...if I keep this up I fear it will dry out completely in the near future.

You probably have a unique personality, and given that you are on this website its more likely the case. So finding that right one will be a challenge, you may encounter them once a year maybe. I would suggest being more selective and observant, so that you don't burn yourself out.

With regards to not getting further dates, I think that you are not moving on to the next physical stage fast enough, first, second, third base etc. Many women like men to be more proactive in this. Maybe someone here can give you more advice on this specifically or you can google it. I suggest experimenting on your future dates until you get better.

At least you make it 2-3 dates....I still can't get a first date

It may be that you are "doing something wrong" (the same thing) in all the dates. You get a second date because they are hoping this thing you did "wrong" was just due to first date jitters and you will become more yourself on the second or third date, and stop doing that thing. By the second or third date they realise this thing you are doing "wrong" is not going away (as you say, you don't do anything differently) so they give up.

I have no way of knowing if my hypothesis is correct, having never been on a date with you, and also have no way of knowing what you might be doing that turns them off. But just putting this idea out there for you to ponder if you wish, as I have experienced this scenario a number of times from the other perspective (i.e. the one giving a second or third chance) so I know it happens.

The main point is that it tends to take 2-3 dates to make up your mind about someone who you can see some potential with but have doubts about.