Why is this the case?

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Why if a man touched a women's bum it might be expected for him to get slapped yet if a woman touches a guys behind it would be far less likely for her to get hit in the face?

A lot of guys shrug it off or like it yet a lot of ladies get offended when a man does that? Of course some girls like it but a lot can really get upset over it.

Nobody should be slapping people in the ass or face unless you're already in a physical relationship. And still not in the face. Its just asking for trouble

We're talking about people who are, at best, acquaintences, right?

Because it's not nice to go around touching the arses of those who haven't otherwise agreed to it.

My take on the social judgement of the gender disparity:

Because it is assumed men are always constantly up for sex (in this case, with any woman), so any such attention given they will welcome. Woe betide the man who tries to correct this notion.

Because it is assumed women essentially have no agency, particularly sexually, and so it cannot be anything more than silliness, in jest -certainly there will be no sexual element to the touch. Woe betide the women who try to correct this notion.

Are you seriously asking this question? This is a superb example of black & white thinking.
Or else this is blatant trolling.

Are you aware that men and women are different? You must be or you couldn't ask this question.
They have many, many differences, our society has been trying to make everyone believe that men and women are exactly the same simply because they want women to get equal pay for equal work.
Women SHOULD get equal pay for equal work and SHOULD have equal rights in every other way.

But that does NOT mean they should be required to look exactly identical or speak exactly identical or behave exactly identical.
We're not ants.
'Equal' does not mean 'identical.' Ask any mathmatician. Or Geometrist. (or what ever they're called)
An equilateral triangle has 3 equal sides but they are not all the same side.

It is not sexist to be able to look at someone walking down the street, or at a night club, and to able to immediately identify them and say, "That's a woman," or, "That's a man."
How else are you ever going to date??

Women and men do many things differently, many of their wants and needs are different, many of their behaviors are strikingly different.
Otherwise it wouldn't matter to anyone whether they married a man or a woman.

This amazingly foolish question you're asking here is answered very simply:
It happens the way you're pretending to ask because the ones that do get away with it ... can get away with it.
That's how the whole world works, not just sex and stranger groping.

Apparently you can't get away with copping a feel. (don't feel bad, I can't either, most guys can't -as you pointed out)

So your only options are to either stop whinging on about it and be a man,
Or 'become' a woman.

Listen you moron people like you are the reason why us men are like villains these days. Fair enough women deserve equal rights but no need to give them favourable treatment over us.

Yeah, it's a great example of gender inequality and I highly resent it. It's only happened to me once and I didn't make a big deal out of it. I wonder if I should have.

Men aren't treated like villians, ffs.

A woman who is socially allowed to slap my arse is not getting 'favourable treatment'.

That said, I don't want anyone slapping my arse. If someone did, I would turn and say 'don't do that'. If you experience the same, I suggest you do likewise.

Are you aware that you are on a spectrum forum? Have a little respect for other members. Asking for clarification is one thing, being rude (or a pri** is more like it) is another.

The world does not revolve around you, nor are you any better than anyone else in here.

Nobody should feel uncomfortable to ask a question, this type of attitude creates just that..

I don't like bullies.

Well said

Yes, you should have.

I'm not saying you should have turned around and slapped her in the face. But it would have been appropriate to turn around and say something that showed you did not approve. My generation said "not cool!" in a stern voice when somebody did something they shouldn't have. Anything that communicates the idea that what they did is not ok is appropriate.


It used to be socially acceptable for men to pat women on the butt even if they were not in a relationship- or didn't even know each other. It took decades...decades!!...of women objecting to create the current social norm that it is not ok. I think the men of the time (when it was socially acceptable) actually did believe that women liked it and were flattered by it. Women had to say strongly, repeatedly, angrily that it was not ok. It is not extremely common for women to do it to men (it only happened to you once) but I think the few women who do it are under the same delusion as the men of decades ago....that it is flattering. It is up to men to actively object at the time it happens just as it was up to women decades ago. I don't think it will take decades because the concept of "that is not ok" is out there. But it will take men stating that the "not ok" applies to them also.

I also agree with Hopper that the lack of sexual agency in women is why this idea didn't automatically apply when women do it to men (and also explains why women never did it in the first place when it was common for men to do it) and also agree with his solution of actively saying "don't do that" when it happens. That will communicate that the "not ok" applies to all. Expect a defensive reaction from the woman who did it such as "I didn't mean anything by it, get over yourself". Men gave similar defensive reactions back in the day. But the message does get out there and the social norms do change when you speak up.

Interesting. I don't think that applied in my case - more likely she just thought it was "no big deal". And to be quite honest, although I didn't like it, it wouldn't be a big deal, if not for the thought of how unfair it is that she can do it to me, but I can't do it to her.

I think I did react somehow, maybe with an angry "HEY! What the...", but I certainly didn't give her the whole "this is not OK" speech, so she probably remained under the impression that it was all in good fun.

Men on average are bigger and stronger than women on average. Men on average are more likely to sexually assault a woman than women are to sexually assault a man. The consequences of sexual assault on a woman are likely to be much more severe, i.e., pain, permanent damage to genitals/reproductive tract, pregnancy, even death. This is why women in the 60s worked so hard to gain equality - so that they would cease to be regarded as nothing more than an object who existed solely for a man's pleasure.

ANY unasked-for physical act can be interpreted as aggression. I hope you can understand that the level of threat that man->woman aggression poses for a woman is MUCH greater than the level of threat posed by woman->man aggression (unless she is brandishing a weapon).