Getting to know someone through texting...

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I've been messaging this girl on OKC for a while. I'd prefer to meet in person, but at the moment that's not possible (which has been communicated). She seems to like it when I send her a message, but I just don't feel like I'm very good at it. I'd prefer to be able to express myself better with something longer than a sentence or two. I can't type fast on a phone. She deleted her dating profile so that isn't an option anymore. I don't feel comfortable asking her why. I assume it isn't anything to do with me as she still responds to text messages. I just feel she's shy and I am too, so it's hard to keep things going.

Getting to know someone through text message isn't ideal for me, nor is it good for moving things along. If the person isn't willing to meet for any reason yet still wants me to message then because its "nice", I'd feel as if I was being used for an ego boost.

You don't get to know someone through texting. Don't even try to. Texts are limited to 1-3 brief sentences...you can only be so detailed in that small space. Sometimes people will ask me a question in a text message and I'll want to respond with a novel, but due to the size limits I'll just send a 5-word reply. This is one of the aspects of online dating that has always given me the most trouble, as I never know exactly how to handle texting. I've kind of decided to just avoid it entirely unless planning a date.

Why is it not possible to meet in person?

Please. I already said that I want to meet in person. I just happen to be in a different state for three more weeks. I don't even want to be where I am right now but it wasn't my choice. I'm actually upset that I can't meet. I don't like this. I don't feel like I can just completely ignore this person for three weeks without them losing interest completely.

How about asking her for her email address? But some people are overwhelmed by long emails so I'm not sure that's a good idea either.

Man, that is tricky and bothersome. I hate texting. I'm with Yuzu - do you think you could ask for her email address? Have you spoken on the phone at all - would you be up to that if she was? Who gave who their number first, or suggested such? Who sent the first text? How often do you text each other, and how quick are the replies? How long were you talking on OKC before moving to the phone?


Re OKC - it may be she doesn't feel she needs it up now she's talking to you.

She probably temporarily-deactivated it actually.(which appears to be completely deleted from your end)

How about talking on the phone? You know that smartphones are phones too, no?

I could try that. I might just send her a short text even though it doesn't really build the relationship. At least it's not completely ignoring her. I've had this generalized anxiety the past few days for no real reason and it's prevented me from doing much.

My phone conversations are usually limited to talking about where to meet. Topic-less phone conversations are dreadfully awkward. I honestly do a lot better talking in person. Silences aren't quite as awkward in person as over the phone.

Even IM is better than texting. I can type a lot faster on a keyboard. Most people don't do IM though.

Talk about random stuff, what you've been up to and what you're doing at that moment.

Just call her. If it's inconvenient for her, she can always tell you and you can ask what time is convenient.