Can Aspie Girls be Flirty?

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There is this woman I have known about for about six years although we were only formally introduced last year she is 28 to my knowledge. I have had a crush on her for a long time and yes, I am going ask her out. I never really pursued her before because she is naturally gorgeous (I have seen her in a swimsuit) and VERY flirty and bubbly, usually a deadly combination for an Aspie male. Someone I trust who knows her well told me she has no idea how to talk to men or start a relationship and is very socially awkward and I flat out did not believe it and assumed he was playing a joke. Later, I was at a party with many of her coworkers (ugh) and everyone was making fun of her behind her back about her sexual naivety and inexperience. She always had a smile on her face and flirted with everyone young and old so I still found it VERY hard to believe.

Now, I'm not saying she's an Aspie yet but after she striked up a long conversation with me I have determined that she is actually VERY insecure around people and finds too much attention bothersome. She even told me she likes to be alone at times which was a shock to me. I also realize that the trusted friend was right: she uses her flirtiness and friendliness to cover for the fact she is quite socially awkward and grew up in a sheltered home (like me!) and has no idea how to relate to people. Like Autism signs it becomes quite obvious once you know what to look for. Like me she is very well liked and is skilled at what she does but does get frustrated and angry easily. She also seems to be the black sheep where she works and I have never heard her talk about a friend of any kind. I never understood why someone so seemingly perfect worked at a relatively crappy job for so long until I realized I did too until age 25!

My question is such: are there any Aspie ladies who actually are flirty and friendly? I was absolutely blown away to discover she is somewhat Aspie like because I was under the impression she was a extroverted, social butterfly who was always happy and would never give me the time of day. Her comments about my appearance make it clear she was definitely checking me out and had been for several months. What a shock to discover that she is actually very much like me. In fact, as much as I never thought I would ever say this I think she might be TOO much like me to be relationship material! Do you or do you know anyone who is both Aspie and flirty with a bubbly personality? I just assumed Aspie girls were all spock-like and standoffish because that has been my experience up to this point. I also never asked her out because I presumed she would be the one to make the move due to how flirty she is but maybe she is desperately trying to get me to ask her out because she is worried about embarrassing herself. I will have my answer in the next few days!

I've experienced flirtatious Aspie ladies. It's a most delightful manifestation

Are you a fan of hockey history--specifically, the Islanders/Edmonton years?

Revealing things would expose many WP ladies here, I am no homewrecker.

I am an Aspie female, and I know how to flirt. I found the instructions in a book called How to Get a Teenage Boy and What to Do With Him When You Get Him. It was published in 1968, but I faithfully applied the instructions decades later when I was a teenager and they still worked. I found that the techniques work with men of all ages, not just teenagers.

I've also learned about body language from reading, mainly online. That has really helped me to figure out whether guys are attracted to me or not.

I learned how to make conversation by reading the books Intimate Connections and the old standby, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I have listened carefully to guys I like, to learn what they will respond to, and then I have acted accordingly. It makes me happy to make them happy, and it helps to create a connection.

I didn't know I was Aspie when I was doing all this. I just thought I was a shy, awkward nerd. And it may sound calculating the way I went about it, but it doesn't make it any less sincere just because I had to learn those things intellectually rather than through instinct. I changed myself into someone guys would like, and that has benefited them as well as me.

TL; DR: Yes, we Aspie women can flirt if we want to!

You are, indeed, Uncanny!

I do love flirty girls and I should also add this same friend told me her manager recently asked her to tone down the flirtiness as it was making some people uncomfortable (boy, I can relate to that word!). In spite of that, she was blatantly hitting on me last time I was there and she never had done that before. What she and the friend says makes perfect sense because she is stunningly beautiful (9/10 easily although I prefer black to blonde hair ) and in great physical shape as well as being very intelligent. Maybe she will turn out to be a Aspie who is skilled at hiding it? She also almost ran into me on three separate occasions with the last one being so close I almost accidentally knocked her over (like a hockey bodycheck) while I was stretching. Given how large the gym was and we were the only two there at the time, something tells me that it was her awkwardness on display and not a very weird co-incidence. Did I mention like me she is a child magnet just like me too and is even a substitute elementary school teacher? I swear I'm not making this stuff up! Until I came here to WP, I had NO IDEA Aspie girls had the same troubles as us Aspie guys but maybe it's a case where they are better at hiding it, hence the large gender gap in diagnosis.

I'm actually not a huge history buff as I only became a fan in the mid 90s. I'm also an Edmonton fan, which is just as difficult as being an Islanders fan today. I remember how in High School guys used to (playfully) tease me because I knew all the stats off by heart. I'm such an Aspie!