Grown used to being alone?

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My last relationship was three years ago, and I've averaged three dates per year since then. Was single five years before that. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do with a girlfriend if I had one now. I think I'd miss my alone time too much and I may unconsciously hold that against her. I haven't had strong feelings for anyone in years, and I've never lived with an SO; I can't imagine what that must be like. I feel like I wouldn't be able to fully enjoy whatever alone time I got knowing there's a person in the other room. I do get lonely often and want to reach out to society and women, but I don't have any specific expectations from them and don't know what I would want to have happen. I feel like a relationship would be a burden but I'm nonetheless unhappy and can't help feeling that I'm missing out.

Anyone have a similar experience? Do you feel your desire for isolation is a drain on your well-being? How do you mitigate the loneliness?

A pet.
More like a dog pet than a fish pet though, imo.

Relationships are like tessaracts... They can encompass you even if you don't budge an inch. They can't always be a conscious choice in the event a woman does something you never expected to help you, if you realize that after the fact there's still a lot you can do, none of us can say what burden you might find worthwhile in the future so while I agree pets are almost always good for people, I think you might want to re-evaluate the actions of women in your life before you try to supplant them.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

It's an idea I'm getting used to.

I don't really live alone, since I'm a mom and professor and do a bunch of other things involving people. But since my divorce several years ago I've never had a relationship really get off the ground, and lately as I wander OKC and other such sites, and meet men, I think...I'm not interested in any of these people. Not one of them looks like he's worth the trouble. Heading for 50 they're mostly wrecks, and hardly any of them pass the filters at this point anyway: must be someone I actually want to talk and spend time with, meaning very bright, very widely educated (self- or otherwise), can write well or at least passably, and if not a talented writer then must read very well; not chronically depressed, in decent physical shape, not gay, and...okay, here's the shallow point...not bald. And not Christian, I'm done with even trying there. Employed and self-supporting, but not someone who'll take the prizes and trinkets and ladders of his career all that seriously. And not an as*hole, and likes sex and isn't terrible at it, and doesn't in the end want me to just sit and watch TV with him. Or marry him, or keep house for him. And is a grownup, because I already have a real child to look after.

This leaves very few men. None, in fact, from the looks of it. But when I look at that list and say okay, where should I compromise, I already know from decades' experience that the answer is "nowhere". Giving on any of those is bound to leave me worse off than alone. But it's not even that, really, anymore -- I meet these guys, they're not what I'm looking for, they're not interesting to me.

The shocking thing is when I go to OKC and they've got this horrible tile interface, it's like being in some massive supermarket of men, and I'm looking and looking, filters on but open to the whole world, and there's not a single man I even want to strike up a conversation with.

I do very much want to be married with a family but I do worry that given my lack of experience at my age, it might be too difficult to have to live with someone else, especially an equal but different partner. I also work alone in my job and make my own decisions so I actually joined a volunteer organization where I will have to learn to take direction from others. I like to lead but I do not want to become a dictator which scares who could be a potential Wife away.

I have a need for a ton of isolation and alone time but I also love to have deep conversations, crave intimacy and want to love someone deeply I also feel very lonely at times since my only friend is someone I plan on ejecting from my life soon. It's a challenge trying to balance the need to be alone with the strong desire to have a close relationship with a woman.

I was extremely isolated for a long time. I was working 50hrs a week + nights and just didn't have the time or money to socialize. After a few years I hit a really low point and then just snapped out of it, sort of. I stopped enjoying my alone time quite so much and decided I needed a change. I tried reconnecting with my friends but those friendships had all kind of faded away when I wasn't looking. Op, you may find that eventually you "wake up" and need to figure things out. Do whatever you think is best. It is better to indulge your isolation than to try to break free when you arent in the right state of mind, in the short term. I am definitely happier since I have started getting out more.

I relate to what the OP said. I have been alone so long that I'm not sure what I'd do with a partner if I had one.

I was depressed for a while and just wasn't interested in men at all, now I'm starting to feel better I've started noticing men again and I'm starting to feel lonely. But then it's been a long time since I've met someone that I've fallen head over heels for. I only ever get to the point these days where I think, "Hmm he's attractive and interesting," but I don't feel motivated to do anything about it.

I tend to be attracted to quiet, but interesting men, but I am quiet so when we are together we don't talk much, which means things don't work out. I can't stop being drawn to men like that, but we just don't talk to each other, I keep getting stuck in this cycle.

I found out I'm autistic a little over two years ago. About a year ago, I started feeling an incredible distance from people in general. So, I've come to appreciate my own home, where I am virtually secluded. My home is my refuge from neurotypical entanglements. A cat would be nice, which is planned for the near future.

The truth of dating sites is the following: Most men are there because of their shortcomings in life and they far from perfection, they hope to find a woman there who might overlook their shortcomings.

However, most women are there for to opposite reason: They are seeking an imaginary holy grail, a perfect man in every way.

So no doubt why a lot of women end up despising all men dating site because they're too imperfect for them in their eyes, it's a conflict of interests and both are seeking in the wrong place.

I have never met a single woman on dating site who doesn't have a low opinion of most/majority of men using dating sites, and no, it's not just because of the 'hey babe' guys.

Perfect men would be already taken before having to use a dating site, and so the women with realistic and humble standards.

There are no perfect men, and there are no perfect women. Anyone who thinks differently should definitely get used to being alone.

If I held out for perfection, I'd never have met my late fiance. Unfortunately, now his precise type of imperfection is what I seek, and I seriously doubt that any two people on the planet are imperfect in exactly the same way.