Trouble with flirting.....

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17 May 2014, 12:21 am

I'm diagnosed with Aspergers. In short, I'm not built to flirt haha it's not my thing. I really like this girl and my friends say she's sending signs at me but if they didn't tell me it would have gone 100% over my head :/ does anyone have any advice on flirting or how to pick up signs? Thanks in advance

accountinglad
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17 May 2014, 12:25 pm

Signs of flirting are :
playing with hair
Laughing at everything you say
interested in everything about you knowing more about you

nick007
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17 May 2014, 11:33 pm

accountinglad wrote:

Signs of flirting are :
playing with hair
Laughing at everything you say
interested in everything about you knowing more about you

What's the difference than a girl who just plays with her hair & finds you funny & interesting but not romantically interested :?:

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Eccles_the_Mighty
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18 May 2014, 3:54 pm

Don't forget, lots and lots of eye contact. As aspies we sometimes find this difficult but trust me in this, gaze into a woman's eyes and all the rest is easy.

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18 May 2014, 4:02 pm

Yeah I'd offer advice but I have the same problem. I'm so bad at social interaction I assume any female that's talking to me is just being friendly because I seriously can't tell the difference and I'd rather not assume she's flirting and get accused of sexual harassment or something.

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19 May 2014, 4:42 am

Eccles_the_Mighty wrote:

Don't forget, lots and lots of eye contact. As aspies we sometimes find this difficult but trust me in this, gaze into a woman's eyes and all the rest is easy.

Really? It's not that I'm one of those people who can't make eye contact it's just that if I do it to much I get this feeling I'm being rude.

Eccles_the_Mighty wrote:

I seriously can't tell the difference and I'd rather not assume she's flirting and get accused of sexual harassment or something.

That's bad enough when you're flirting with a girl you've just met but it's even worse when you're already on a date. I don't have the nerve to try anything and then she thinks I'm a cold fish.

SabbraCadabra
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19 May 2014, 5:03 am

Apparently I have no trouble with flirting, because people will tell me I'm doing it, and I had no idea :roll:

...which has probably gotten me into a little bit of trouble here and there >_<

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19 May 2014, 7:44 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

That's bad enough when you're flirting with a girl you've just met but it's even worse when you're already on a date. I don't have the nerve to try anything and then she thinks I'm a cold fish.

I'll explain it in Zelda terms, classic Zelda 1 on the NES, just like your current avatar: If you're already on a date just assume you've got the golden key in level 8, the one that opens all the doors, and she's a keyhole ready to be opened. All you gotta do is insert, twist, and collect your treasure. Unless there's blood, then you've got a boss fight on your hands before you can collect the treasure. Point being you gotta have the confidence to open that door like Link does.

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19 May 2014, 9:11 am

Quote:

Signs of flirting are :
playing with hair
Laughing at everything you say
interested in everything about you knowing more about you

There has to be more to it than that and "lots of eye contact." I suck with eye contact, so I know I'm not accidentally flirting that way. I don't play with my hair unless it completely falls out of the ponytail or bun I put it into earlier. I still rely on a mental list of acceptable small talk questions, so I'm not asking anything or anything more I wouldn't ask anybody I'm trying to get to know. I only laugh if they say something funny.

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19 May 2014, 10:05 am

Aristophanes wrote:

Really? I didn't think it would be that easy.

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19 May 2014, 1:00 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:

Aristophanes wrote:

Really? I didn't think it would be that easy.

Yep if you're on a date, that's the master key. I mean the lock may be rusty and you may need to jiggle the handle a bit, but you're pretty much in. Unless the door goes all Gandalf and says "You shall not enter", then I'd listen for legal reasons.

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19 May 2014, 1:03 pm

BetwixtBetween wrote:

I have no clue when a guy is flirting with me. No clue. None. Not even the slightest. I have no way to know a guy likes me until he outright says something or asks me on a date.
And apparently I flirt without even knowing it. And it really is completely without knowing, because I have as much clue about how to flirt with a guy as I have in telling whether he's interested.
There has to be more to it than that and "lots of eye contact." I suck with eye contact, so I know I'm not accidentally flirting that way. I don't play with my hair unless it completely falls out of the ponytail or bun I put it into earlier. I still rely on a mental list of acceptable small talk questions, so I'm not asking anything or anything more I wouldn't ask anybody I'm trying to get to know. I only laugh if they say something funny.

A lot of men are extremely dense and think that just because a female responded to them in any capacity that means the female is into them. You could be a cashier and say "have a nice day" and the man will go to his friends and say, "she was totally digging me." You're not actually flirting, they're just so self absorbed they convince themselves that you are.

The female equivalent to this is when a man says, "you look nice/pretty/etc." It may just be a passing compliment, but some women are also completely self-absorbed and think "he's totally flirting with me."

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19 May 2014, 2:24 pm

Aristophanes wrote:

A lot of men are extremely dense and think that just because a female responded to them in any capacity that means the female is into them.

It seems like I suffer from the opposite problem.

Aristophanes wrote:

Yep if you're on a date, that's the master key.

Now I get it. The secret is "speak friend and enter".

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19 May 2014, 4:22 pm

Flirting is so overrated, it's not what forges or initiates relationships.

Most relationships I've witnessed didn't born out from flirting.

nick007
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19 May 2014, 7:42 pm

SabbraCadabra wrote:

Apparently I have no trouble with flirting, because people will tell me I'm doing it, and I had no idea :roll:

...which has probably gotten me into a little bit of trouble here and there >_<

Sometimes when chatting online with some teens & just trying to be friendly I started typing stuff that sounded flirty when I was NOT trying to or wanting to at all. I kept having to backspace & reread before pressing Enter. Yet when I wanted to flirt online with adult women I could never figure out how

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19 May 2014, 8:12 pm

Ah, well, I didn't mean "accidentally flirting with underage girls" kind of trouble, more like "accidentally flirting with a friend's girlfriend" kind @_@

In person, not online. I don't know if I could flirt online, people have enough trouble just trying to pick up my sarcasm in text...

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