Any tips for a new OKC profile?

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I am thinking about making a new OKCupid profile. But one thing I am struggling with is what to call myself. My last one didn't get that much attention from guys, I think that was partly because of the name. But to be fair when I started that account I wasn't really looking for a relationship online. Now I am.

I want to attract quality men. Not creeps and losers. I will not post sexy pics, I have none anyway. But should I put in there some where that I do not have sex until I have known a guy a few months? Or let that be a disappointing surprise? I just feel the 3 date standard is far too soon and introducing sex complicates things. I know this because I have not always had a 90 day rule.

I also am thinking of looking for friends and activity partners. Err.. Activity partners are people you go bowling with, right? That's not code for sex is it? I just want to get out of the house. to hang with some one besides my crippled mama who can't even lift a bowling ball some days. I'm bored. I'm lonely. And I'd really, REALLY, like to meet a marriageable man before my ovaries turn into raisins.

While I am on it HOW on Earth do you get a guy to ask you out? I have exchanged numbers with a few guys but all they want to do is text. Maybe talk on the phone. They never ask to meet me. And don't get a clue when I start to stop texting that maybe I am losing interest.

How to get guys to ask you out?
First, hang out where the guys are. A friend of ours said she always took shop classes in school just to meet guys. A bowling alley is a good place to start. Maybe you could join a local team, and start that way. After meeting a guy, show interest in getting to know more about him, and if you have to, be obvious ! ! If the guy doesn't get the clue, just say "Gosh, there's this beautiful hiking trail I'd like to go to, but I don't like GOING BY MYSELF."

If being obvious doesn't work, try asking them out. In a nice way, don't come on too strong or it sounds like these lads might run away. But say something along the lines of doing something together, like an art exhibit. Some kind of get together, like a car show. Just get right to the point and say "such and such is happening and I'd really like to go, WOULD YOU?"

(I only wish some of the ladies I dated when I was young had done this.)

Maybe you could put something like "I am not looking for a physical relationship right out of the gate, if that comes naturally, so be it. So if you are just interested in that type of relationship please pass me by".

As a guy who's been the one browsing profiles, here's my advice:

Don't rant or complain about creeps/losers messaging you on your profile. I've clicked off many a profile upon reading such rants. I wouldn't even state that you're not interested in hookups. That should be obvious from statements of what you are looking for. And when you do get such propositions, just hit delete/block.

Don't let your profile read like a shopping list. Include reasons why a guy browsing your profile should be interested in you. If you don't include this, then by definition the only guys who message you are guys who don't give a damn who they're messaging!

Don't check off activity parter (which often is code for sex) or friends. OkCupid is for dating (be it hookups or marriage), use it for that. You may wind up making friends, but remember that's the backup plan. I'm not a proponent of the friends-first approach. As a separate suggestion for just meeting people, try the couchsurfing website. It's not only for travelers, there's a local social component too. Results will vary from city to city though.

It's best to include a photo, but not a mirror selfie/duck face/sexy coy one. One head shot and one full body shot is probably best. An interesting setting is good to be it the Eiffel Tower, Niagara Falls, or the park down the road.

As for getting a guy to ask you out, push the conversation that way. Conversations tend to begin talking about interests ("I like board games", "I play the trombone", etc.), then move to activities ("Last weekend I ..."), then you move on to arrange to meet. Guys like to know they have your interest before asking you out, so try to communicate that. You're probably not being as obvious as you think, reading between the lines is hard (autistic or not). And failing that, you can always break the cultural norm and ask him out.

I was thinking of using RareJewel, as my new handle. It lets them know that I am not your average girl, but it's not as off putting as halfmad genius. and also, I feel hints that the right man will see that I have value. What do y'all think?

A little bit cheesy, honestly.

I never really pay attention to their name unless it's something cheesy. Just have something generic as your name, maybe something that has numbers after it; your photo(s) and profile will tell people what they want to know about you.

My screen name is a fake name I stole from a spam email sender.

I'd suggest a few things to do first of all, the main one would be to look at what other women have posted - this will give you an idea of the 'opposition' ha ha and an idea of the sorts of things that other women are using on their profiles. I must admit I find browsing dating site profiles absolutely hilarious. The photos are brilliant, the number of times you see photos taken in the bathroom (why???) with the toilet in the background, or in a club toilet (that really implies sincerity lol) are countless. Another one that cracks me up are the 'softcore' ones, usually on a bed and invariably accompanied by complaints of - men only contact me for sex...... Incidentally these are women in their late 40's - 50's - my age range lol.

as an adjunct to the topic - these sites (i have experience of okc and pof ) work in a similar way to loyalty cards - ie they collect in formation on you! Loads and loads of it, okc more so, with it's use of 'tests and quizzes'. Saw a good quote the other day - 'when companies steal my information it's marketing - when I steal theirs it's copyright theft'. Either you don't care about this or you do, I hate it!
You can limit this -

batch purifier - there is a cut down free version purely for jpegs/jpg's that will strip the metadata from them. If you are using a mobile to take photos it will also record your gps location - very handy for stalkers as this data is uploaded with the photo!
10 minute mail - or similar to register, never your real address!! ! Create a free address you can dump, like gmx et al, rather than your real one if you want to give it out to someone.
I also will never use real information to get an email address or register unless am paying for something - slightly alter your age - not the year as will give your age on dating site (or state in profile - oh I entered it wrong am really xx years old), postcode - in uk the only relevant bit for a dating site are the first few letters/nos which will give the town - you need that to search and be found locally. So use ie the local library postcode or town hall. Put you in the right area, but not the right street. Not sure how zip codes work.
use firefox - changes your IP address
use no script and adblocker extensions
I also use ghostery - on this site for instance, it is blocking
google analytics
google adsense
quantcast
score card research beacon
share this
google custom search engine

I also use peerblock with genusa.com's lists

Avoid references to alcohol, it's quite common to add phrases about drinking - I like to relax with, I enjoy a glass or two, I like to go out for, etc- I suspect to appear more sociable, but comes across more as a drink problem.

On a sad but true note, hardly anyone actually reads what is written and certainly I've found when writing to women, that they are often surprised that I do. So put something in the profile near the bottom that requires an answer.

Be quite wary of replies, it seems to be common practice (discovered by reading comments etc) for some men to use a shotgun approach, copy and pasting into every profile. Especially so on a new profile. These come up on 'new users/ joiners link'.

Put a caption stating when the photo was taken, it's quite a shock when you meet someone and find they've suddenly aged or bloated half a dozen dress sizes.
Women often lie about their age and weight, sorry - but they do! It''s very off-putting!

If you are using a free site then expect cheapskates, weirdos and pests as well as nice people. You get what you pay for .....

If you find someone you like - before you meet them, research them, find out if they are genuine. (ixquick or startpage don't collect your info like google does).

This definitely is not meant to put you off, just to be safe.

Yes, I have had good experiences on these sites and so can you.

Be funny - it's a very attractive quality

InsainoMan's post gives good advice - although - 'I play the trombone' as a hobby might be misconstrued, especially for a woman.....