How to find girlfriend with common interests?

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Andreger
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03 Sep 2014, 3:24 am

I am 27 years now and I've discovered that finding a girlfriend who has more or less same interests with you is quite difficult.
For me it;s important to have common topics to talk about because I'm too far away from what majority of people like to do - I don't know much about cars, modern music and movies, sports, art, fashion, hate night clubs and disco, doesn't drink or smoke and so on - it could be long list here.
Instead I have strong interests in cultural and military history, political science, philosophy. Like guys around in my office chat about recent soccer match or new Audi model presented , so I can talk about topics like political influence of islam or shooting accuracy in Seven years war. Although I live in city with almost 10 milions of people there are no history clubs or something like that - only male-only clubs where members wear armor or uniform and reconstruct particular war or battle so as with philosophy clubs. In bookstores there are also almost men in sections of history or political literature. In my country such things are not so popular as in America for example - if judge by number of clubs and volunteer organizations in these fields.
So could anybody advise me what to do? I have no more ideas.
Last time I dated girl 4 years ago so as you understand I have no outstanding dating skills as possibly many people on this forum. In general I'm not so awkwarded but I never participate in small talks which looks useless for me and have just few friends.



heusedme
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03 Sep 2014, 3:45 am

Andreger wrote:
I am 27 years now and I've discovered that finding a girlfriend who has more or less same interests with you is quite difficult.
For me it;s important to have common topics to talk about because I'm too far away from what majority of people like to do - I don't know much about cars, modern music and movies, sports, art, fashion, hate night clubs and disco, doesn't drink or smoke and so on - it could be long list here.
Instead I have strong interests in cultural and military history, political science, philosophy. Like guys around in my office chat about recent soccer match or new Audi model presented , so I can talk about topics like political influence of islam or shooting accuracy in Seven years war. Although I live in city with almost 10 milions of people there are no history clubs or something like that - only male-only clubs where members wear armor or uniform and reconstruct particular war or battle so as with philosophy clubs. In bookstores there are also almost men in sections of history or political literature. In my country such things are not so popular as in America for example - if judge by number of clubs and volunteer organizations in these fields.
So could anybody advise me what to do? I have no more ideas.
Last time I dated girl 4 years ago so as you understand I have no outstanding dating skills as possibly many people on this forum. In general I'm not so awkwarded but I never participate in small talks which looks useless for me and have just few friends.


Hi there :-)
Maybe you could take a philosophy course at a Uni, also try taking a broadcasting class (journalism) maybe get involved with or start up a group that discuss current current issues and perhaps discuss resloutions or something to that effect.
Maybe this would allow you the oportunity to be in company of like minded people. I personally enjoy hearing about interests other than my own.

Awkward isnt a bad thing! Its mysterious and very refreshing Vs some overly confident cocky jerk off. My eye always goes right to the "shy" guy in a room.

Maybe when you do find yourself speaking with a woman of interest and lets say her interest is clubbing, maybe mention an event that you can recall from the news that involved a night club. Oh wait you didnt day world news.. hmmm

Maybe getting involved with a political campaign of some sort.



Andreger
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03 Sep 2014, 4:21 am

Thanks for your answer

Now I have no money for uni, but next year I'm going (hope it would success...) to go to United States for political science degree. But this is almost a year and I'm trying to find something now.

I tried once to start a group but realized that I'm not good at organizing and even worser in moderating discussion, or else visitors were just drinking beer and talking with those who they already know on anything from cars to sport. And anyway there were no girls at all.

Maybe there are already some such groups but I failed to find anything about them via google, facebook or friends. So even if they are present they seems not to wait for new members.

And there are no political campaigns in my country. There is ruling party which supresses and imprisones everybody who has some political influence and doesn't join it.



sly279
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03 Sep 2014, 2:01 pm

I have similar interests I love history, miliary history/ww2/ww1/korea/roman. I have gotten into politics sadly. I love guns and shooting. its a mechanical thing. I like videogames, and zippos.

I've met one woman who like videgames, cars, guns, history. one woman out of thousands i've met.
I don't hold hope to finding a woman who shares my interests.

though on history there are tons of women who would share that.

only advice I have is tryi okc and pof look for women who mention similar interests on their profiles. they are out there.
for me it's hard, cause women who tend to like history tend to be anti gun. history majors in general are left leaning.
if youd don't have that downside then it should be easier ,note though most people don't' like talking about politics, ie the



kraftiekortie
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03 Sep 2014, 2:17 pm

Hey Sly,

You're a cool guy. All you need is perspective. The internet is NOT the real world.

I'm glad you're still posting here, and offering your input. Don't let what people say get you down.



1401b
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03 Sep 2014, 2:34 pm

Andreger wrote:
I am 27 years now and I've discovered that finding a girlfriend who has more or less same interests with you is quite difficult.
For me it;s important to have common topics to talk about because I'm too far away from what majority of people like to do - I don't know much about cars, modern music and movies, sports, art, fashion, hate night clubs and disco, doesn't drink or smoke and so on - it could be long list here.
Instead I have strong interests in cultural and military history, political science, philosophy. Like guys around in my office chat about recent soccer match or new Audi model presented , so I can talk about topics like political influence of islam or shooting accuracy in Seven years war. Although I live in city with almost 10 milions of people there are no history clubs or something like that - only male-only clubs where members wear armor or uniform and reconstruct particular war or battle so as with philosophy clubs. In bookstores there are also almost men in sections of history or political literature. In my country such things are not so popular as in America for example - if judge by number of clubs and volunteer organizations in these fields.
So could anybody advise me what to do? I have no more ideas.
Last time I dated girl 4 years ago so as you understand I have no outstanding dating skills as possibly many people on this forum. In general I'm not so awkwarded but I never participate in small talks which looks useless for me and have just few friends.

    Yes,
    DEVELOP NEW INTERESTS

    Preferably something of common interest WITH GIRLS


see how easy that was?

PS. don't ask me what they're interested in, got no clue there.
But if you can figure it out you'd make millions selling it.
Then you could talk about your Maserati, I'm sure there's tons of chicks that would be interested in THAT topic. =)


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1401b
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03 Sep 2014, 2:35 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Hey Sly,

You're a cool guy. All you need is perspective. The internet is NOT the real world.

I'm glad you're still posting here, and offering your input. Don't let what people say get you down.

What are you saying man!?!?!!11!!1?

Heresy! Infidel! Off with his hed !


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Andreger
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03 Sep 2014, 2:49 pm

1401b wrote:
Andreger wrote:
Then you could talk about your Maserati, I'm sure there's tons of chicks that would be interested in THAT topic. =)


If I'll talk about MY Maserati there would really be less problems with girls :-)
Okay, I won't ask you about what do girls like (I know it) but what I really can't understand is how to develop interest? For all my life I can't remember even single thing that just become interesting - everything either was interesting since I knew that or never been interesting.
Even when I was 7 years old I remembered how many soldiers were killed in Marathon battle and who is Edward Black Prince.



Andreger
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03 Sep 2014, 2:55 pm

sly279 wrote:
I have similar interests I love history, miliary history/ww2/ww1/korea/roman. I have gotten into politics sadly. I love guns and shooting. its a mechanical thing. I like videogames, and zippos.

I've met one woman who like videgames, cars, guns, history. one woman out of thousands i've met.
I don't hold hope to finding a woman who shares my interests.

though on history there are tons of women who would share that.

only advice I have is tryi okc and pof look for women who mention similar interests on their profiles. they are out there.
for me it's hard, cause women who tend to like history tend to be anti gun. history majors in general are left leaning.
if youd don't have that downside then it should be easier ,note though most people don't' like talking about politics, ie the


We have lots in common. World Wars history, ancients, politics, guns. And I'm also strong adept of right-wing policy.
So I have this downside :-) I left my first girlfriend 6 years ago because she wanted to be leftist and pro-feminist politician.



sly279
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03 Sep 2014, 9:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Hey Sly,

You're a cool guy. All you need is perspective. The internet is NOT the real world.

I'm glad you're still posting here, and offering your input. Don't let what people say get you down.


our generation is the tech gen, we are all on the internet. most the single 18-30 year olds in my town are on okc. everyone is on facebook. so how is the net not the real world. we walk around with our faces looking at screens all the time. the next gen is even worse. they wear usb cables as belts so they can quickly connect their phones to charge. they have their phones at 10% after charging at night and being awak only an hour. its a scary future man.

i have persistence. and boo explained it. I read his post as saying i should leave ie not wanted here.



Last edited by sly279 on 03 Sep 2014, 9:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sly279
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03 Sep 2014, 9:34 pm

Andreger wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I have similar interests I love history, miliary history/ww2/ww1/korea/roman. I have gotten into politics sadly. I love guns and shooting. its a mechanical thing. I like videogames, and zippos.

I've met one woman who like videgames, cars, guns, history. one woman out of thousands i've met.
I don't hold hope to finding a woman who shares my interests.

though on history there are tons of women who would share that.

only advice I have is tryi okc and pof look for women who mention similar interests on their profiles. they are out there.
for me it's hard, cause women who tend to like history tend to be anti gun. history majors in general are left leaning.
if youd don't have that downside then it should be easier ,note though most people don't' like talking about politics, ie the


We have lots in common. World Wars history, ancients, politics, guns. And I'm also strong adept of right-wing policy.
So I have this downside :-) I left my first girlfriend 6 years ago because she wanted to be leftist and pro-feminist politician.


I'm middle grounds politically. I believe in welfare cause i've seen how it helps(left). I love guns and beleive in our rights.(right) so I can't be with anyone who is far left or far right. really limits my choices of women.
I don't have a problem with feminism to say but most i met are extremists and the ones who list they are feminist on their profile have tended to be extremist. why would you need to list such a thing. just like someone saying they are tea party. but helps to let me know to avoid them lol

you like guns?

how long were you two together? one of the reasons the girl i got closet to a relationship said she couldn't be with me is cause I disproved of Obama's immigration plans of giving them id's and letting them become citizens cause they broke the law and jumped a fence. though it also has to do with her wanting a provider type, and being shy, she said I didn't pick shows she liked to watch while cuddling. I tried to. I asked her serval times what she wanted to watch, said she didn't care. then tried to pick what I thought wed' both like. which is why I go over what shows/movies a woman likes as part of the getting to know each other. I think common choice of entertainment is very important to a relationship.



kraftiekortie
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03 Sep 2014, 9:37 pm

It's still not the real world. It's just a bunch of people typing their thoughts onto computer screens, usually without SEEING the person they are "talking" to.

You're not WITH the person or people.

On the internet, people are able to exude more "bitchiness" than they are able to in real life because of the (quite significant)aspect of anonymity. They are able to exude Mr. Hyde--while, in the actual company of a person, they are forced to make use of their Dr. Jekyl aspect.



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03 Sep 2014, 10:49 pm

sly279 wrote:
I'm middle grounds politically. I believe in welfare cause i've seen how it helps(left). I love guns and beleive in our rights.(right) so I can't be with anyone who is far left or far right. really limits my choices of women.
I don't have a problem with feminism to say but most i met are extremists and the ones who list they are feminist on their profile have tended to be extremist. why would you need to list such a thing. just like someone saying they are tea party. but helps to let me know to avoid them lol

you like guns?

how long were you two together? one of the reasons the girl i got closet to a relationship said she couldn't be with me is cause I disproved of Obama's immigration plans of giving them id's and letting them become citizens cause they broke the law and jumped a fence. though it also has to do with her wanting a provider type, and being shy, she said I didn't pick shows she liked to watch while cuddling. I tried to. I asked her serval times what she wanted to watch, said she didn't care. then tried to pick what I thought wed' both like. which is why I go over what shows/movies a woman likes as part of the getting to know each other. I think common choice of entertainment is very important to a relationship.


Ah, I see. I'm from Russia so here being a leftist means support of Putin's dictatorship.

Yeah, I like guns. Newer shot from any but as part of military history and politics :-) that's nice.

We were together for three years, nice time. Then I found next girl, and then left her after 2 yrs. I have no regret on what was before - just want to find out what to do now. I met both on forums but now I'm not so lucky there.



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04 Sep 2014, 12:15 am

Andreger wrote:
I am 27 years now and I've discovered that finding a girlfriend who has more or less same interests with you is quite difficult.
For me it;s important to have common topics to talk about because I'm too far away from what majority of people like to do - I don't know much about cars, modern music and movies, sports, art, fashion, hate night clubs and disco, doesn't drink or smoke and so on - it could be long list here.
Instead I have strong interests in cultural and military history, political science, philosophy. Like guys around in my office chat about recent soccer match or new Audi model presented , so I can talk about topics like political influence of islam or shooting accuracy in Seven years war. Although I live in city with almost 10 milions of people there are no history clubs or something like that - only male-only clubs where members wear armor or uniform and reconstruct particular war or battle so as with philosophy clubs. In bookstores there are also almost men in sections of history or political literature. In my country such things are not so popular as in America for example - if judge by number of clubs and volunteer organizations in these fields.
So could anybody advise me what to do? I have no more ideas.
Last time I dated girl 4 years ago so as you understand I have no outstanding dating skills as possibly many people on this forum. In general I'm not so awkwarded but I never participate in small talks which looks useless for me and have just few friends.


I feel your pain. I recently broke things off with my ex boyfriend because of this. While we got along well, I loved running, science, and outdoorsy stuff(fishing, etc), while he couldn't stand any of those things. I also think that it's impossible to find someone who has the exact same interests as you, which is not a bad thing because you can learn from their interests that differ from yours. Due to the fact that your interests seem pretty specific, I would learn a little bit about popular topics in order to start a conversation with a girl. After that, look into what her specific interests are and see if they are similar to yours. If interests that are most important to you aren't important to her, the relationship likely won't work. If you are interested in shooting and history, maybe check out a gun range or history club? I know some women that shoot guns, but unfortunately, I don't know many who are into war history. I'm sure they exist somewhere because I tend to hang out with either girly-girls or the type that is into science rather than people who are really into history.



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04 Sep 2014, 1:14 am

Einfari wrote:
I feel your pain. I recently broke things off with my ex boyfriend because of this. While we got along well, I loved running, science, and outdoorsy stuff(fishing, etc), while he couldn't stand any of those things. I also think that it's impossible to find someone who has the exact same interests as you, which is not a bad thing because you can learn from their interests that differ from yours. Due to the fact that your interests seem pretty specific, I would learn a little bit about popular topics in order to start a conversation with a girl. After that, look into what her specific interests are and see if they are similar to yours. If interests that are most important to you aren't important to her, the relationship likely won't work. If you are interested in shooting and history, maybe check out a gun range or history club? I know some women that shoot guns, but unfortunately, I don't know many who are into war history. I'm sure they exist somewhere because I tend to hang out with either girly-girls or the type that is into science rather than people who are really into history.


Unfortunately here are no history clubs and I failed to establish one (see my 2nd post in th thread) and shooting ranges... well there are 99,9% men. It's not America, here you can't own even strong non-lethal weapons and firearms are prohibited for civilians at all so shooting is hobby for those who loved it in the army mainly.

Maybe you are right about learning more about some common s**t to start conversations more easily but it seems to be like searching for a needle in a haystack - if one of 50 girls would be really fond of history it would be a success (if she has no boyfriend or husband). But 50 - it is large number of date attempts so this search could easily take lots of months. What I try to find out - maybe I'm searching in the wrong places? But I can't figure it out - bookstores, museums, related exhibitions, I go there but if I meet there girls of more or less my age they are with their boyfriends or children...



sly279
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04 Sep 2014, 3:33 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's still not the real world. It's just a bunch of people typing their thoughts onto computer screens, usually without SEEING the person they are "talking" to.

You're not WITH the person or people.

On the internet, people are able to exude more "bitchiness" than they are able to in real life because of the (quite significant)aspect of anonymity. They are able to exude Mr. Hyde--while, in the actual company of a person, they are forced to make use of their Dr. Jekyl aspect.


I don't subscribe to the if you don't see them face to face then they aren't real people logic

Idk i've met people in person who are just as men in person as online. I am exactly the same in person as online, except that I make people laugh. I don't know how to bring that over much to text.