Ever wonder if you'll find someone?

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Doesn't it just seem so hard to enter a relationship because everyone is so picky? (Not that that's a bad quality, it's just that people don't want to date me even before "trying me out").

They are easy enough to find, the buggers won't let me have them though. And who can blame them?

Well, the truth is, if one gets rejected all the time, one probably has too high standards.

Letting standards go down it is always possible to find someone.

And then you might no longer be satisfied.


Too bad one cannot avoid this game.

I know all the people I've been together with found and asked ME instead so I've got no worries.

Yes & no.

There have been plenty of guys wanting to date me, but I haven't wanted to date them. I'm sure I'll find someone no problem, it's just a matter of finding the right someone for me. Someday.

Nope I used to but learned to accept my fate that ill never find anyone I have too many issues and quirks that I do not deserve love or happiness!

I myself am too picky. I find this frustrating.

I don't have high standards or am picky except for not smoking. I have some things that would make me pick someone over another but as long as they aren't mean or smoke. and i'm hesitant to be involved with a single mom.

I use to think i'd find someone. ITs what society and people say. "you're find someone eventually"

I reexamined my self though after being rejected alot.

I think this rather frequently. I will probably never be anyone's romantic desire; there are too many factors combining to form a perfect storm that screams "don't date me". So I try to shut off my desire for companionship. It hasn't worked yet, but I'm waiting for some brilliant, ambitious neuroscientist to develop a procedure that will. I would be first in line for the human trials.

I used to have hopes, but with age and realizing I have all these other issues I didn't recognize or want to recognize before I finely allowed my self to give up. basically yes I can find someone but it never lasts and I go through so much rejection even finding one acceptance that its just not worth putting my self through it all. hell, i used to blame women for not wanting me but the truth of it is if I was a woman I wouldn't have wanted me either. and much of that was before, when I was much younger, I didn't understand and couldnt see what the world seen when they looked at me, and the more I realize thats wrong with me the more I realize I am just better off staying single. I just wish I could laid now and then but oh well.

Whats really sad, is that once in my heart I truly gave up, I became even more paranoid of people and even more of an isolationist.

Why would they? If they aren't attracted to you why would they waste time trying someone out.

My problem is:

I'm too picky, I'd rather be single than date someone who, imo is not worth it
And the people I tend to be attracted to don't like me, which is fine, they shouldn't have to.

I'm with hale_bopp on all of the above as it applies to me as well.

I'll admit I used to remain single in order not to burden someone else with my problems, but now that I'm getting my life together and no longer have the same problems to burden someone with I remain single for the reasons hale_bopp does. That and I'm still working on some long term goals and don't want to be distracted by them by some relationship of convenience with someone that I don't foresee myself staying with long term. The only way I'd enter a relationship is if it were with someone I did think was worth it, and they were also into me of course.

Only occasionally. Most of the time I feel fairly sure I know the answer.

I know alot of us have been discussing the dangers of feeling entitled to a relationship, but can I stress the need to find a balance. It's good to have an understanding that the world doesn't revolve around us a a sole individual, but that doesn't mean that we should swing completely in the other direction and brand ourselves as completely useless.

You have worth as a human being. If you focus on ybuilding on your current strengths and growing as an individual you can bring something of value to a relationhip.

You may not feel that you are in the right frame of mind now, but by focussing on the positives and building on them you can find self worth.

Balance is appreciating your good points, but not so much that you become arrogant and think that the world owes you something.

I'm just editing this to add that maybe in reality none of us will find a significant other, but it isn't because we don't "deserve" someone or that we are impossible to love.

I've often been contemplating if it's even statistically possible.

There must be mutual attraction and sexual compatibility.
I'd prefer someone at least as intelligent as me (from my personal experience, only a few men can withstand more clever or educated partner at their side), which reduces possible objects of my interest significantly.
I need someone stable and very open minded.
I don't want kids.
And I have a dozen other requirements (and load of peculiarities to be tolerated) which compared to what I can offer is "slightly" off balance.

But I believe in miracles

Currently, no (I am married) but I certainly used to.

And now I regret that wasted energy.

You can't control what you can't control, and relationships happen when they are meant to, not when you think you want them to. And worrying about it actually makes it MORE DIFFICULT to find someone. OK, so it isn't like we can stop ourselves from worrying just because someone told us to, but it is worth working on living your life for YOU, to be happy in the life you have, for that actually makes you more attractive.